Sunday, May 11, 2003

Okay, I know "the search isn't over" yet, but this is still pretty stunning.

Okay, let's start off this rant by pointing out how several times I've said that I expect weapons to be found. I've said this well in advance of any find (as, indeed, there has been and may be no find, so I'm ahead of the game by definition). Also, I'm keeping in mind the phrase I used above, that searching for weapons isn't over.

The question is, when will the search be over? We've got ops winding down in terms of searching for WMD as Bush says we're just getting warmed up. We've got most of the high priority sites checked out as Blair tells his MPs that he's absolutely positive we'll find something. How long will they be able to use the stall tactic of "we're not done yet"? I understand it's a big country and shit like this takes time, which is why I haven't declared shenanigans on the WMD issue yet. But you think they would have found something by now.

Well, you say, lots of the top priority sites have been looted or alltogether destroyed. That's a definite setback for the WMD search. But it would be pretty hard to pilfer chemical and biological stocks, or to completely destroy any trace of them where they stand just by setting shit on fire. The only thing those locations could have yielded was info as to where shit really was.

That brings me to my next point, one which realtors will appreciate. Location. Maybe the weapons we're searching for just aren't in the places we expect them to be. Okay, that's fine. But then that begs the question as to how the hell our intelligence forces fucked things up so badly. Again, they're not done searching all of the sites that are highest on the list, but they're close. And they haven't found shit? This really is starting to look like the desert combing scene of Spaceballs. I mean, they're even in the fucking desert, for chrissakes.

Continuing the the theme of location, Saddam had time to move stuff around. Maybe he moved some of his weapons into Syria or some other neighboring country. Again, how did our intelligence people miss this, if this is what happened? I know this isn't as simple as I'm making it out to be, but Iraq has to be one of the most heavily, if not the most heavily, watched countries on the planet. Watched, and restricted like a motherfucker. I mean, did you see where the no-fly zone boundaries were? The no-fly zones took up most of the goddamn country. Like Bill Maher said, Saddam was "litetally the mayor of Baghdad," and it's thanks to things like this. So, with all this surveilance and control we had over Iraq, how the fuck would Saddam be able to move that much shit (because, remeber, our leaders told us he had oodles and oodles of nasty stuff, and I'm not talking about Saddam & family's porn collection) without us catching him or getting even the slightest wind of it?

If Saddam had weapons, and he just managed to move them or hide them effectively, then we may never know the real story. No matter what, the Bush administration can never, ever make an airtight case without evidence. Everything beyond that is just supposition and spin, which of course, is what the Administration is best at. That's how we got into this war in the first place.

While writing this, I realized when this search for WMD will be over, for me at least. When Tony Blair makes a declaration, one way or another. If it ends in failure, i.e. no WMD, I'm gonna feel kinda bad for Tony. Tony Blair is a smart fucking guy, and in a lot of ways, I think he was fighting this war for the right reasons. But I still think the main motivator was the fact that he was drunk on American power and influence, and deluded as to the glory it could bring him and the U.K. He's gambled his entire political career on this, a fact which he's admitted.

If Tony does go down in flames by saying the WMD hunt was a failure, I will be shocked, and I will be awed. Because at that moment, I will have seen MOAB - the mother of all bullshit.

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