Saturday, October 18, 2003

You know what I just saw a blurb on in the paper? As part of the fetal alcohol syndrome line of Care Bears (the shitty "classic" ones, not the cool "retro" ones), they're making a "Bedtime Prayer Bear."

Fuck you, assholes. The Care Bears don't give a shit about Jesus. They're goddamn talking bears with magical powers. They don't need religion.

This is such horseshit. I can't find my retro Good Luck or Grumpy in a store, but they have fucking praying bears. It can't be said enough. Fuck you, assholes. Fuck you for not putting out good stuff, and fuck you for exploiting the Care Bears for nothing but more Christian nonsense.
So it looks like my other little 'blog project is already fucked. I was hosting all of the images over at Angelfire, and I found out when trying to log in to upload some more stuff that the account had been disabled. Of course, they don't tell me why it has been disabled, but I can guess why.

Until I find an answer, there are only a few things I can see as to why this happened. First off is that they don't want people using the service as just a file repository, which of course is what I was doing. If this is the case, all I needed to do was make like one token HTML page and things would have been fine. I've been using an Angelfire account to host shit for this 'blog, but there is one web page I put together at one point to link to images for a Standard article I was ripping on. But what the fuck? That account has been there for only a couple of days. How the fuck would they know that I'm not planning on setting some shit up? I obviously wasn't, but they didn't fucking know. And so they just cut shit off right away? If this is the case, what a bunch of fucking crap.

The second reason is that they won't host certain sites is because they refuse to be host to adult content or pr0n. They define this as anything with nudity or any sexually explicit content. Well, pictures of young girls in school uniforms is naughty, but there is no nudity and certainly nothing sexually explicit.

In their terms of service they say that you cannot "Upload, post, email, otherwise transmit, or post links to any Content that exploits the images of children under 18 years of age, or that discloses personally identifying information belonging to children under 18 years of age." Okay, so some (but not all) of these girls are actual high school age, meaning under 18. And I'm sure some people would argue that images like these are exploitative. But is this any worse than a 17-year-old Britney Spears being paraded around in her "Hit me" video in, what else, a schoolgirl outfit? Or how about the fucking Olsen twins? Whether or not you think all of this is exploitation, I'm sure there are plenty of pics of all that shit on Lycos/Angelfire/Tripod pages. Oh, and then there's the fact that I found tons of sailor schoolgirl pics on a Tripod site.

Oh yeah, then there's the fact that I entered my name as "John Shaft," which they're probably going to pick up on. But fuck them, they don't need my real name.

My guess is that it's either the false info stuff or the file repository stuff. Still, I'm not sure if I even wanna find out what brought this on. At this point, I'm just waiting for my IP to be tracked, the warrants to be issued, and the cops to haul me away.
Here's a site that looks interesting and I'll most definitely be checking out more of later: ExChristianDotNet.
When I was reading the latest security council resolution this week, all I could think of was a behind-the-scenes tidbit I read about Star Trek. They used to label some things on the sets as GNDN - goes nowhere, does nothing. And that's pretty much the best way to describe this new resolution.

A huge part of that resolution was basically the U.N. saying "please send help," but even the U.N. doesn't wanna send help. Not like I blame them.

Again, why did we even bother?
Okay, I love GYWO, but I wish this guy would go back to the old system of just posting a bunch of strips at a time, instead of forcing me making a link every third day to a new comic. Yes, he's forcing me, god damn it.
Fuck, there's more money spent.
Hot on the heels of Netscape, MSN is stepping up to the plate to help me find myself a girlfriend. Oh, except for the fact that I'm not a great guy, so their advice is meaningless to me.

"You know, I might ask out a hundred chicks, and get 99 nos. But maybe that hundredth chick... Likes to fuck on a pile of trash."
- David Cross
Yeah, pretty nice for people we dropped fucking nuclear weapons on. Bush and Koizumi look waaaaay too happy in that shot.

And hey, I thought it was all China's fault that we're losing jobs thanks to their pegging the yuan to the dollar. Now it's Japan's fault, too? Man, fuck all these countries for screwing up our economy. Why can't they just do what we tell them to?

Considering that we've already insulted Japan, a country that more or less likes us, on this trip, I'm real sure Bush will do wonders to improve perceptions of the United States.
I wanna start a reality TV show called Heisenberg.

Friday, October 17, 2003

You know what sucks? Stomach ailments. Thanks to one of those I spent most of my Friday having my own personal recall election. I was able to put on pants and make a quick trip to the post office, though, so things are looking up.
You see? This is the kind of bullshit that I've been talking about and dealing with for 24 fucking years now. I try to fight it (Aug. 25th, first post), but it's never easy.

Once again in the CNN link we see the bullshit evolutionary argument. No, you fucking pricks, we're shallow fucking assholes, plain and simple. Quit trying to rationalize making people feel like shit for small stature, small breasts, what have you - shit that you have very little or no control over.

Fuck these motherfuckers and this whole salary business. I've got a trump card: math skills. Okay, I haven't used them in a long time, but I can get them back if I need to, goddammit. So eat me.
Despite feeling physically sicker than a goddamn dog, added comments and a guestbook to the latest monument to my mental illness.
As a warning, this next link is probably not work appropriate. There's no nudity, but it's definitely a little bit "eichi" (naughty, perverted).

A week or so ago, I got a hit from a Google search for "sailor schoolgirl blog." And I'm like "Well, Fuck Everything is about as close as this guy is going to get." Until now.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

You know who I used to hate but now find amusing? Jim Rome. That's right, Jim Fucking Rome. Smug, smarmy asshole talking about sports. That's how it should be.
Krugman. Also, if you're wondering about his "calculations," the guy is saying all of this with some authority, seeing as how he's currently a professor of Economics and International Affairs at Princeton. Granted, I'm not a big fan of economists, but at least when Krugman talks out of his ass it's an ass that was educated at MIT.
If I were Sylvia Plath, I'd fucking kill myself all over again knowing that untalented cunt Gwyneth Paltrow was playing me in a movie.
I just saw this commercial for Tums antacid. In it, two diner patrons are debating their heartburn medication, both of which suck, apparently. Then the cook busts out a bottle of Tums, telling both patrons how stupid they are and that they should be taking Tums instead.

Wouldn't you be weary of eating at a diner where the fucking cook always has a bottle of Tums at the ready?
The Senate shows some balls.
After several years of using PayPal, I'm rapidly approaching the exhaustion of my PayPal sending limit. I've been fighting their bullshit "verification" process for awhile now. I see no reason why they need my fucking checking account number when every goddamn transaction I've made through PayPal has been fully backed by a major credit card with no problems. They are not a goddamn credit card company, and they do not need to know my bank details. Sorry PayPal, I don't fucking trust you.

My plan all along has been to open up a new account, but I have a feeling that they'll figure that out (based on credit card billing addresses, etc.). Lately I've thought about applying for their Visa card, which comes from Providian Financial. That still bothers me because I have to give PayPal personal info to apply.

Has anyone done anything to successfully get around this shady verification nonsense? Or can other people just control their spending on Transformers, anime toys, and Japanese idol magazines to the point where they don't have to worry about the PayPal sending limit?
Well, if that's the case, then God is an asshole.

Speaking of Mother Teresa, here's the text of an oldie-but-goodie from The Onion.
Yeah, Asscroft will turn over the investigation once all the right tracks have been covered.
Because the war in Iraq had nothing to do with oil.
Speaking of assholes and the Church...

Now, the Church ponying up $85 million to settle fucking SEXUAL ABUSE claims is pretty significant, right? It's indicative of a very, very large problem. But it's just going to be swept away, and nothing really useful is ever going to be done. Why? Just because it's the fucking Catholic Church, and they can do whatever they want because they're special and believe in God and Jesus. Oh, and they have fuckload of money to throw around, too.
Yeah, neither one of you know what the fuck you're doing.
I can't imagine why morale would be low. You have people who have been misled about their deployment times, had the rules switched while they were over there to keep them deployed longer, and can look forward to coming home to slashed benefits. Oh, not to mention that they're over there fighting a guerilla war of questionable value with no end in sight in the fucking desert.
Fuck you, Anglican clerics. Look at how cute they are, with their little conferences and important sounding titles. Cute, and so very, very stupid.
Here's the text of the Security Council resolution passed today. Seems to me to mostly be a lot of talk for Iraqi sovereignty, condemnation of violence, and calls for people to chip in, all of which can most likely be ignored by everyone. And so far it pretty much is being ignored, as evidenced by the continued unwillingness of countries like France and Germany to commit troops. Like usual, who can blame them? The biggest show of support we've gotten is from Japan, who may pledge up to $5 billion over the course of a few years. That's no real big coup considering that Japan is already the #1 giver of foreign aid in the world.
Shit like this is about as helpful as when Bush initially referred to the war on terror as a "crusade." This is yet another example as to why religion is stupid and dangerous. They hate us because our god is different from their god, we hate them for the same reasons. Nothing is ever accomplished by this childish shit-flinging, and the death toll continues to rise.
So how did we sucker everyone into this? I need to read up more on what the resolution says, but right now it sounds like it doesn't do anything.
So I just got a spam telling me to "STOP_WASTING_TIME!! ADD_UP_TO_500%_MORE_SPERM_TODAY !!! Increase the volume of your ejaculation by up to 500% in days!"

Yeah, as if I don't have enough issues, now I'm not producing enough sperm when I cum. Thanks, assholes.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

A post over at I Have No Life inspired me to come up with a shitty logo for this site. There it is, right next to the site warning, in all its black-and-white minimal-effort glory.

I don't want that image right there, though. I'd like it to be to the far right of where it says "fuck everything," but I can't seem to get it to show up there. I still know very little about HTML, and I am loathe to learn it. Anyone have any tips on how I can get the logo where I fucking want it?
Sounds like Bush's tour abroad should go smoothly.
Yeah, good, George. Because we all know how much other countries like being told what to do by the United States. Especially when it's done in such an arrogant and condescending manner.

"I want to make sure that people who are suspicious of our country finally understand our motivation is pure." Our motivation is pure?!? Thanks, Bush, something finally made me laugh today.
So for some reason, I spent quite a bit of time looking around this site last night. Maybe it was because everything took 2-3 times as long to load thanks to other, er, downloads taking place in the background. Still, a decent time killer if you like looking at big things and interesting architecture.
Even though Maureen broached the subject of which I do not want to speak, might as well go ahead with my usual link to her column.
The trickle of GYWO continues.
It's a little late but still Wednesday, so here's this week's troll around the Japanese tabloids with Fuck Everything's very own W^4.

Worst (and most insensitive) headline of the week award.

This should make family dinnertime all that much more awkward.

No need for Battle Royale here, because these girls are fucking motivated.

And just for good measure, one last lovely article on sexual misconduct
Speaking of the Cubs, if anyone saw last night's game or any highlights (and not to mention gives a shit), you are full well aware of the foul ball incident where a fan got in the way of Moises Alou catching a foul ball.

Here's a Chicago Tribune article on the guy involved in whole affair. As a warning, the Tribune requires registration for reading their articles.

Right after it happened, I was fucking pissed at that guy. Even now, I really, really want to hate him. But I just can't. Thinking of him with his headphones and Cubs sweatshirt on, totally expressionless and motionless, just makes me want to cry because I know that guy felt worse than just about any other person alive at that moment. I'm sure those feelings haven't changed.

Yes, that guy fucked up, and helped screw us out of an out that we desperately needed. Still, he didn't force the Cubs' pitching staff to completely fall apart, allowing run after run in an 8-run inning. He didn't make Alex Gonzalez mishandle a routine grounder that would have given us another crucial out. He didn't silence the Cubs offense, which had two more innings to try and win back the game.

I obviously want the Cubs to win tonight because I'm a Cubs fan, but I also want them to win for that fan. If the Cubs lose tonight, I would seriously fear for that guy's life, because, well, it's Chicago. And the Cubs. No matter what, he will always be remembered as the one who beat us in game 6, despite the fact that the Cubs beat themselves in game 6. If the Cubs lose tonight, he will be blamed for keeping us out of the series.

Well, here's the deal. If the Cubs can't recover from interference by one fan, then how the fuck are they going to beat the Yankees?

Please, Chicago, win that goddamn game tonight. I guarantee you that fan wants it as desperately as the rest of us do. Even though that guy's actions fucked us up, he still deserves to see a Cubs victory tonight.

Cubs, please fucking win tonight, for this guy and for the rest of us. And regardless of the outcome, Chicago fans, please leave this guy alone. I can promise you he's already suffered enough.
So today is one of those days where I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. Ever.

It could all turn out fine, but I'm on the brink of either the two most exciting things I've ever faced or two of the biggest disappointments I've ever faced (which, again, will show you how simple, shallow, and easy my life is). In the grand scheme of things, none of it matters, but that's not going to keep it from getting me down, I know full well that it could be way, way worse. I could be starving in Africa or getting bombed in Iraq. What can I say, I'm a selfish, self-centered person.

One big potential disappointment is beyond unimportant, because it's sports. You know what I'm talking about. I try not to invest myself in sports, but something happens to make me care again. The Cubs could very well win game 7 tonight, but they might lose. Either way, I'll get over it, since after all, it's just sports.

The other huge potential disappointment is my current job situation. I've gone through two interviews with one company, and been told by the guys I'd be working with that I'm their choice for the job. They've seen what I have to offer and I'm the one they want, despite the other candidates who have been interviewed, many with years (even decades) of directly applicable experience. The reason they've decided to go with someone inexperienced in general, and me in specific, is because they want someone new and fresh in there to shake things up a bit.

So what's the fucking problem? Upper management. Management is just beyond infuriating, because they don't work off of the logic that most other people use. What's their big issue with hiring me? That I might leave in a year or so if the job market heats up, when they're looking for someone to be around for the long-haul.

There's no fucking reason I'd leave in such a short time-frame unless I was being treated like shit, which I have a good feeling I will not be. This job is perfect, just the exact thing I was looking for. I'm not going to leave any time soon because I NEED some sort of long-term stability. I want what they want. So far, management can only see its stupid black-and-white view of things, though, and so I have to work to convince THEM of what both I and the engineers whom I will be working with every day already know.

This has me terrified because it was thanks to upper management that I worked as an intern for a company for two fucking years and still didn't get hired. There were managers and engineers who fucking wanted me there, but their hands were tied. When I ended up having to leave that company, I was beyond devastated.

If I don't get this current job, I won't feel as bad as with the internship, but it's still going to be a crushing defeat. To be told that you're the chosen one and to still not get hired would be the biggest fucking piece of bullshit I've ever seen. Either way, where I'm at right now looks hauntingly familiar to where I was for those two years as an intern.

Naturally, I'm being impatient. I've been living back home for five months now, and I'm dying to get back out on my own. It's been that way since day one. Being at home isn't Dachau, and I get along well with my parents, despite the fact that my mother's OCD is worse than mine. It's obviously better than not having somewhere to live. I just hate this awful feeling of being a fucking loser with no real job and no independence. I look at the girls every night, telling them I'm working on getting us the hell out of there, maybe tomorrow will bring the news we're waiting for. Of course, they're inanimate, and aren't even capable of giving a shit.

It seems like that's how it always goes with me; things are really good initially, and then they fall apart in the end. Finding a wonderful girlfriend, only to find out what an awful, awful bitch she is in a relatively short time span, leaving me fucked up for years. Watching the Cubs up 3 to 1 in the NLCS, only to see the curse return once again. Making the grade and impressing a company, being told I'm "as good as hired" and then getting stifled by stupid corporate bullshit. It's all about short-lived glory. I'm not special in this regard, but this is why I live my life on the defensive. Any time something good happens, it's not long before I become terrified about an ugly outcome. Yeah, thinking that way doesn't help anything, but it's hard to shake those feelings when the pattern has been so pervasive.

This is partly why I've become as materialistic as I am. Like I've said before, material goods aren't of paramount importance, but they are a nice pick me up when I need it. Yeah, more short-lived glory. But it's something when nothing else seems to be going right. A new DVD to watch. A new toy to open up. A new magazine to jerk off to. Pretty much just distractions to distract me from all the shit that pisses me off. It can be just as much of a pain in the ass, though, like worrying if Amazon really ever will send me a Chobits box, or if that fairly expensive order that should have been here already will ever arrive. Just more meaningless nonsense.

Yes, I know. The Cubs might win game 7 tonight. I might get that job. Those stupid orders will probably show up. I'm just so frustrated at this point that I'm not exploding in anger, I'm not breaking down crying, I'm just worn out. As KMFDM says in "Dogma," "all we're waiting for is for something worth waiting for."

Okay, that's enough feeling sorry for myself for now. Boo fucking hoo.

Why the fuck do we even bother with all this shit?

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Well, from the looks of it, Disney isn't fucking things up too badly so far with Miyazaki's stuff.
Apparently, the Supreme Court is the only one doing anything today, since they're dominating my posts. Here's more info on the gas tank search case I was bitching about earlier.
Here's some more on the Supreme Court's decision to actually work towards a decision on protecting children from online porn. Here's to hoping that nigger-loving ACL-Jew keeps fighting the good fight.

In case you're wondering about that patently offensive ACLU comment, just go read this and don't give me any shit.

So, how do we protect kids from online porn? Hmmm, I dunno... Parents? Would it kill them to do their fucking job every now and then? Yes, I know it's not easy being a parent, blah blah blah. Furthermore, you can't watch kids all the time. But you know what? Kids have been finding porn since well before the Internet. Guys, raise your hand if you had a friend who showed you his dad's Playboys when you were younger. I see a few hands. Probably even a few from women.

If kids do come across porn, how about parents just take the time to actually talk about it and explain things? I mean, we can explain the Holocaust, nuclear annihilation, and the Ice Capades, but not bukkake? C'mon.

Pornography is obviously not for children, but you can't just go around fucking adults who have legal rights just because we're too lazy to tackle some issues and do some parenting.
Ahhhh, if only.
Continuing with the Supreme Theme, as well as the drug theme, here's more on the Court's decision to not make a decision on the medical marijuana issue briefly mentioned in that NYT article.

God, what a bunch of shit. I don't think marijuana use should be illegal, and this is coming from a total square who has never smoked pot. Just like with cigarettes, just because I'm not into it doesn't mean others shouldn't be when it isn't fucking harming anyone else.

The medical marijuana issue is even more irritating just because it's this hard-assed, letter of the law shit that is completely unnecessary. The government for years has been Mr. Mackey, preaching to us that "drugs are bad, mmm-kay, you shouldn't take drugs." And just because drugs are "bad," that means they can never be used in a way that helps people. Shit, it helps people in general, but it most definitely helps those with terminal illnesses. The government (and I'm not just talking about the Bush administration, either) doesn't care, instead allowing itself to be completely blinded by its own ideals, and totally ignoring the human side of things.

Naturally, to admit that drugs that don't come from Pfizer have some good uses would be to admit that they're wrong in one way or another. They of course cannot show any fallibility since drugs have somehow become a moral issue, despite the fact that in many cases it is not a moral issue. Sure, drugs can lead to violence, but lots of times they do not. It's pretty much like swearing or masturbating - if any rational person thinks about drugs, saying things like "fuck," or jerking off, there's not a goddamn thing wrong with any of those activities in many instances. Still, somehow, you're a "bad" person for doing any of those things. Well, fuck that, I say, as I head off to download porn and smoke up.

Okay, I'm not going to go smoke up, since I've already pointed out that I'm lame and don't do any of that (but in the words of Dante, "I should start"), but the effect just wouldn't have been achieved without mentioning it, 'ya know?

Maybe more importantly, admitting they're wrong could lead to a lot of the money flowing in the "war" to dry up, and we can't have that.
That Supreme Court article also made mention of another thing that's been pissing me off for awhile. There's mention of that case about searching gas tanks at border crossings, which the Bush administration says is "indispensable to the war on drugs and terrorism." Now, I can't say for sure if the Administration used the exact phrase "war on drugs and terrorism" since that's not a direct quote, but I wouldn't doubt if they have used that phrase.

Linking the war on drugs with terrorism is fucking bullshit, because it's just trying to link one thing we know is bad, terrorism, with something we're being told is bad, drugs. They're put side by side just for cheap effect.

While we're at it, the war on drugs itself is fucking bullshit, and I don't care what those stupid fucking commercials tell you.

Take for instance that commercial which tells us that drug money funds the terrorists. The first time I saw that commercial, I was so infuriated that I nearly had blood coming from my eyes. Just like the "war on drugs and terrorism," to try and make this mental link between drugs and terrorism is beyond heinous. Are drugs and terrorism completely unrelated? No. But to take advantage of the war on terrorism and exploit it to push one of your other causes is offensive and wrong.

Guess what else funds terrorism? Oil. A lot of the guys trying to kill us now have a lot of backing and funding from the Middle east, where last time I checked, oil is a big thing.

Then there's that commercial where a 30s-40s-ish woman is doing a pregnancy test, which comes up positive, and then at the end of the commercial - SURPRISE! - the camera pans and you see that the pregnancy test was actually for her teenage daughter. Naturally, pot is to blame. Here's the deal: that girl was hot, and odds are she was going to be having sex, pot or no pot.

Guess what else leads to unwanted pregnancy? Alcohol. I'm willing to bet that there are more unwanted pregnancies due to alcohol than marijuana. Naturally, you don't see commercials coming out against that, because the liquor industry has money which they put to use by paying lobbyists.

Just another daily example of the lies, bullshit, and innuendo that we for some reason stand for in this country.
So this may turn out interesting.

On one hand, it's like, yeah, the pledge and its God reference are more about "ceremony and history". The problem is that it's part of our history of favoring Christianity over, well, everything. It's always "no, we're not trying to establish one religion for favor one other the other" (wink, wink).

Unfortunately, even if the ruling to remove "under God" stands, it won't do much to change that fact.

Monday, October 13, 2003

A little more positivity for 'ya.
Why are we even bothering? I think most other nations have made it fairly clear that they'd like to see an expanded U.N. role, which is fair if they're going to pay to help clean up our mess. Furthermore, we've made it pretty clear that our intentions are to continue giving everyone else the finger.
Well, so much for that mess.

"R&D is our life." Well then, your life is fucked if you have such shitty software engineers working for you.
Has anyone else noticed that David Blaine is a fucking moron? Anyone who does shit as needless as he does must have some sort of death wish. I say we give him what he wants and just fucking shoot him already. The same goes for anybody who gives a shit about him and these stupid stunts he pulls.
Yeah, he was spotted hanging out with Elvis.
I'm not sure why, but naked old guys can be funny. For a little while. Well, okay, some of them don't sound that old, but a little too old to be running around naked.

Seriously, how the hell does an idea like that come up when talking about raising money for schools? It just seems kind of inappropriate, but hey, whatever works.
God fucking damn it. I fucking hate the Catholic Church. Fuck them in their fucking ignorant fucking assholes. Fuck the Pope, fuck all his cardinals, and fuck all of his senseless fucking followers. Fuck you, you goddamn fucking pieces of shit. Fuck you for spreading death-dealing lies just so you can promote your beyond ignorant and completely fucking ass-backwards opinions. I hate these people so goddamn much I wish someone infected with HIV/AIDS would go around fucking each and every one of them in the ass repeatedly, unprotected of course.

I don't think my hatred of religion, especially Christianity, is any sort of secret. Fucking crap like this is why I am seething with hatred for these people. I mean just beyond fucking angry. So bloody angry that I put together even less coherent thoughts and spew out even more profanity than usual.

God. Christ. Fuck. That's it, I'm done.
Apparently this site is a WMD (Weapon of Mass Disillusionment), because poor Sarah gets depressed every time she comes here. Sorry, depressing shit is what I'm good at. But this is happy news, right?

Also, I guess the aforementioned 'blogger got me on the Barbie doll issue. For anyone unaware, "Xtreme Barbie Doll Dressup" is my nickname for the XBox game "Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball." Since the main aim of the game is to dress up all of your hot characters in swimsuits and accessories, it's basically digital Barbies. So, yeah, I lose this round.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

If it weren't for the obvious vote pandering and chest-thumping, I'd be like, what the fuck is this about? Of course the Castro regime isn't going to change. That's why we're gonna have wait until Castro is fucking dead for any significant changes over there. And by dead that pretty much comes down to natural causes, because I think Castro has made it pretty clear that he's not going any other way.

And yeah, Bush is one to talk about sham elections.
Yet another obligatory link to the wonderful Maureen Dowd (WMD?).

As a special bonus, here's a transcript of Cheney's speech to the Heritage Foundation last week, full of all the self-aggrandizement, bullshit, half-truths, innuendos, and outright lies we've come to expect.
Fuck it, I say. Just put 'em in the cargo hold
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Drew. Nobody wants to hear about all that. We just wanna hear about the trauma Limbaugh suffered as a result of being molested as a child. And where the fuck is Adam?
Okay, so it's time to send out some big ups to a few 'bloggers out there before things either get out of hand or I just end up not doing it at all.

Leading off is Super happy Fun Dog, a 'blogger who hates baseball (like most everyone else, and I have no qualms with that) and describes their site as being "like the Washington Post - but without all that ethics and integrity crap."

On deck is Kelly's Blog Blog, a 'blog started for the sole purpose of keeping track of other 'blogs. Kelly appears to be a much more surgical 'blogger than I, as Kelly has another 'blog devoted to quitting smoking, and yet another devoted to more web links.

Batting third is The Thought Sink a new 'blog with a clever name.

Finally, batting cleanup is yet another friend who has fallen victim to this 'blogging nonsense, begging the question of What Would Vegeta Do?. Unlike some hacks I can name, she's a published writer who can actually write. We just need to get a couple more friends of ours into this 'blogging bullshit, and then we can have ourselves one big 'blogging family. Christ, what a fucked up family that would be.
I got a hit recently thanks to a google search for "terrorists buying playstations." Has the PlayStation been deemed a threat to national security? If it has, I'm going to be goddamn pissed if Tom Ridge shows up and takes away my PS2. And if he even thinks about taking away my AssBox and DOA3 or Xtreme Barbie Doll Dressup, I'm going to start blowing shit up.

Speaking of google-based hits, I'm still getting a decent number of pedophiles, and like always, I can't even begin to tell you how happy that makes me. This site is turning into nothing but pedophile flypaper. The FBI should really just contract me out, having me give them my referral log so they can go nail or keep an eye on the people looking for kiddy porn.

I initially thought that a search for "yuna pain rikku art" was looking for some S&M FFX stuff, but then I realized that they just misspelled the name of one of the characters from X-2 (Paine).

The word "lolicon" has been a big hit generator over the past couple of days. I'm okay with that one, unless if some of those people with lolicons are kiddy rapers.

Also, what the fuck is up with people looking for Inspector Gadget porn? The most recent instance of this was a search for "sexy penny inspector gadget pics for free" that got someone here. Did these people get molested while Inspector Gadget was on TV one day, or were there some fucked up sexual undercurrents in that show which my 5-year-old mind missed? I sincerely doubt the latter. Like I've said before, I don't really care what you fantasize about, but you've gotta admit that turning something as innocent as Inspector Gadget into a source of sexual fantasy is a little messed up.

Oh, and you know what I just realized? I'm probably going to get some hits for people searching for 5-year-olds being molested thanks to this post. Fucking great. I'm waiting for a call from the FBI, but it probably won't be about a job offer.
Also, saw a preview for the next Matrix movie tonight, which I will not be seeing just as I did not see the first sequel. I liked and respected the original Matrix enough that I had no need for a sequel, nontheless two, that would probably disappoint.

Yeah, The Matrix Revolutions, or as I'm going to call it from here on out, Gundam, since it's apparently a robot fighting show now. I might be up for it if they could find a way to add in some good high school romanace/comedy a la Full Metal Panic, but I know they'll just fuck it up.
So I went out to see Kill Bill tonight. What follows is sort of a review, but it's mostly just general musings and mention of some characters. Nothing in here that I would really call a "spoiler," but it all depends on what you consider spoilage. I used to know this one kid who got pissed if he saw the preview for a movie he wanted to see, because that apparently just ruined everything for him. He was kind of a dumbfuck, though, and he's dead now. If you're all that worried about spoilers, just go out and see the fucking movie already, and quit riding my ass. Christ.

Kill Bill is Quentin Tarantino's fourth film, a fact of which you are informed of at the outset if you were previously unaware (okay, I guess that was sort of a spoiler, but not really). Joe Williams of the St. Louis Post Dispatch says "Kill Bill is the most amazing experience you will ever have in a movie theater." Well, it's an experience all right, but probably not the most amazing. In fact, even though it's never happened to me, I'm willing to bet that getting a blowjob in a movie theater has the potential to be way more amazing.

As if it wasn't to be expected from a Tarantino flick, Kill Bill is fucking violent. It would have raised the bar on violence a couple of feet if not for the fact that it's so over-exaggerated and cartoonish. In fact, in one instance it's actually a cartoon. The body count is high, but the copious amounts of fake blood let you know that they're not taking themselves too seriously. If you're not an uptight ninny and just let these people do their jobs, you might appreciate the comic violence.

You definitely have to let go of a sense of reality in many cases, which again is to be expected from Hollywood. If anyone has seen Noir and remembers the scene where Kirika is running up the stairs with guns ablaze and managing to kill like fifty guys shooting at her, well, that's how Kill Bill gets at one point. Like I said, just relax and all will be good.

The movie gets major bonus points for the two Star Trek references in the film. This is great for me as a Trekkie, especially since you hardly ever see Trek references in movies. Any schmuck can make tons of Star Wars references, but it takes a special kind of schmuck to be able to make Trek references.

A lot of the music in the movie was done by Rza (who, apparently, wants to be known as The Rza; maybe it's always been that way but I don't care), and it's pretty fucking cool. That's really all I need to say about that. Plus, the film also had some fucking amazing visuals. Again, nothing really more specific to say.

This guy apparently took issue with certain aspects of the film. As a foot fetishist myself, I've gotta agree. If Tarantino is indeed one of us, I am not impressed. He really should have looked into getting some stunt feet or something for those shots, because Uma's really did leave much to be desired.

For anyone who thought I would get through this review without mentioning Go-Go, you will not be disappointed. No one is going to believe this statement in a couple of seconds here, but I had pretty much decided that I wanted to see Kill Bill before having seen Go-Go in a preview. However, once I saw her, seeing the movie became a foregone conclusion.

Go-Go is Lucy Liu's personal bodyguard. And she has some issues. She's 17, and as you may have noticed, is running around in a school uniform. It's no sailor outfit, but I will always be a sucker for knee-highs and a plaid skirt (thanks, Catholic schools). Anyone who knows me and my affinity for characters like Asuka from Evangelion know that the girls with problems are always a big plus for me. As such, a schoolgirl who's also a vicious killer is right up my alley. Sure, I wouldn't want the whole "killer" part in real life, unless if maybe she was able to focus her killing on people I don't like. And as for Asuka, well, she would drive me to a very early grave, but it would be a fun trip out. Fuck, I'm losing what little focus I had here.

Anyway, let's tally this shit up:

Tasteless violence: +1
Comic effect achieved by aforementioned violence: +1
Soundtrack: +1
Psycho schoolgirl: +2
Trek References: +2 (one per reference)
That one scene that just looked good: +1
Animated sequence: +1
Presentation of unattractive bare feet: -1
Grand total: 8

So, is a score of "8" good? Beats the fuck out of me. I guess we'll find out if I ever do any more reviews, because this shit's all relative. In fact, if a few good movies come out, that 8 can be revised to a minus 8 (fuck you, you fucking economist assholes!).

Until I do any more movie reviews, Kill Bill reigns supreme. It's not the most amazing experience I've ever had in a theater. Well, maybe it's up there since I've never gotten head in a theater, but you know where I'm going. Anyway, yeah, it's entertaining, and I enjoyed it. I think. I'd recommend it if not for the fact that you might see it, hate it, and then blame me for wasting your $6.50. Sorry, I don't want that kind of responsibility.