Saturday, November 15, 2003

Oh, and god damn it, I love broadband. Fuck it, this is way better than sex, from what little I remember of it.

Experiment: OFF.
God effing damn it. It is not easy to get back into this blogging nonsense. Especially when it's 3 AM and you're not, shall we say, fully coherent. There were some interesting quotes, most of which no one will give a shit about, save people who were here, that I can't even remember right now, from this evening. Probably won't remember them later in the morning, either. Of course, a basic rundown of the evening was as follows:

A) Meet up
B) Go to Old Chicago
C) Come back to the apartment
D) Download porn/pseudo-porn
E) Bullshit with this kid about all the crap that went down in '95
F) Pass out (as yet to happen)

In 12 hours, I'm going to be at a wedding. A wedding for this kid I knew in high school who was, to say the least, chauvinistic. I don't know if I'd call him misogynistic, but he was close. Part of his anti-woman stance was because he was trying to put on this tough guy image. Oh, and because he was a self-confessed Christian conservative. Anyway, his getting married business fucks with me. Just like all the other friends I've known who have gotten married. But this was the one marriage that you could easily say should never have happened, and at the same time, you could say was inevitable. Although the inevitability is mostly from an ironic standpoint. I'm probably making this kid out to be worse than he really was/is. Sure, he's a hardline conservative. But he was a decent guy. Just misguided.

But still, all these marriages. God damn it. No matter how I slice it, I honestly don't want to be married right now. If I were to be married, it would only be just so I could say "Phew, past all that bullshit now. Glad that's out of the way." But I don't want that.

Still, all of my close friends, or people I used to be close friends with, are either married or in serious relationships. And I'm on my own. Which is good in some ways. I don't have to put up with anyone's bullshit. Or answer to anyone. Okay, except my mother. And grandmother. Yes, I'm a momma's boy. But fuck any guys who judge me, because you're all the same. As one friend put it, all guys aren't between relationships. They're between mothers. And don't go Oedipal on me; that's not what I'm talking about.

Still, this fucks ass. I've got absolutely no one I'm close to "in that way." It's been an embarassingly long time since I have been, too. And yeah, it's my bloody fault. I get that. Or maybe I don't, but it still sucks. I know, or I think I know, that I deserve better, but I'm still paralyzed from doing anything. Why is that? AND GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, i CANNOT TYPE. That, of course, is thanks to the boo-zay. Even if the content of my posts is normally shitty, I can at least type properly.

I hate this lonliness, but at the same time, I love this freedom. Jyst one of life's lovelly little paradoxes. My guess it that someday, I'll look back and be glad that I had this time on my own. But at the same time, I might regret having wasted all this time.

Christ, I don't even know where the hell I'm going with this. Basically to see where a post will go when I'm drunk off my ass. It's time for bed. I'm probably going to regret hitting the "Post & Publish" button later in the morning, but oh well. Like I said, thi post is an experiment. And since this whole fucking 'blog is just one failed experiment, I might as well go with it.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Apparently, Christina Arrugula (Aguilera) set of the airport metal detectors with her genital piercings recently. Here's what JFR had to say about it:

"I know that earrings don't set those things off. Rings don't set them off. Bracelets don't set them off in some cases. What did she have down there, an aluminum bat? A piece of rebar?"
Fuck you, Bush. NO ONE IS MORE RESPONSIBLE THAN YOU AND YOUR PEOPLE FOR MAKING POLITICS EVEN MORE UGLY THAN THEY ALREADY WERE. Calling behavior "shameful" just because they won't give you 100% of what you want is just one example of how ugly your politics are, you fucking asshole. How about needlessly sending men and women to die just to further your political image? Sounds pretty ugly to me. Oh, yeah, then there's that "Who gives a shit about women as long as we uphold our stupid religious ideas" deal. Again, pretty fucking ugly. And these are just a few examples.

I think Al Franken put it best when he said "I grow discouraged about the tone."
Christmas comes early this year.

Yeah, he's still going to get a bunch of undeserved attention, and for all I know this may actually further his career in some way, or at least make him a bunch of money. But I'm going to savor this for now.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

In my absence (fucking sad that four days is an "absence" for me, but it is), it's nice to see that my favorite Times columnists haven't given up on bashing the Bush administration. Welcome to Cheneyworld, motherfuckers.
The reports of my arrest are greatly exaggerated.

The same goes for any other reports of death or whatever. Reports of being busy or just general apathy may have a hint of truth to them.

So, yeah, shit's different now. New job, new apartment, new city, and maybe most importantly, new broadband connection. That's pretty much what's occupied the last several days. Moved on Saturday, started work on Monday. Job seems good so far, apartment is fucking bad ass. Then, of course, after moving in, there's all the organization I have to take care of to get this place in order. That was interrupted yesterday by the new broadband hookup.

And since I have broadband once again, you know what that means. Porn: ON.

A so-called friend got me back into newsgroups. Newsgroups were how I got my start in the world of web porn, from back in the days of fourteen-four. That would be circa 1995. This kid and I spent quite a few hours burning up my five free AOL hours every month just digging through It was slow going, so as you can imagine, I always went well beyond the five free hours every month that $20 bought you in those days.

I got back into newsgroups for awhile four years ago or so when we had DSL and I discovered a web site that offered free access to newsgroups. I mostly used those to download ALS scans, which some of you may or may not be familiar with. At some point, though, that web site went pay service, and I haven't fucked around much with newsgroups since then.

Until now, of course. Man, it is fucking insane out there. I'm limited to one crummy gig of newsgroup downloads a month, and after two nights, I'm about halfway there. Which sucks, most definitely, but it's probably for the better. There's no way in hell I could get shit done if I had unlimited access to newsgroups. Just sorting through all of the shit I download and culling the good stuff could be a full-time job in and of itself. Man, if only I could find a way to pull off a gig like that. I would officially be the envy of all men. "What do you do for a living?" "I download porn on the internet, and I have a much bigger house than you do."

I don't know where the ol' 'blog is going to go from here. The past several days I either haven't had time, web access, or the inclination to 'blog. I'm mainly posting now just because I feel like I owe the people who keep showing up here something. For some reason, I'm maintaining decent site traffic despite not having done shit for several days.

Even before the big move, I've been questioning what to do about this 'blog. I never really intended for it to go anywhere, but now it sorta seems like it should at least go somewhere. But no, it's still the same bullshit, complaining about Bush and whatever. I got well past the sodomizing a dead horse point a long time ago, but at some point, I would think, the redundancy is just going to get ridiculous. I'm not sure if we're there yet, but we've gotta be skating pretty close.

Like I said, we'll just have to see. It may be awhile before I fully get back into the swing of things when it comes to 'blogging, mainly just because I really am pretty fucking busy right now, and not just with the whole porn thing. I'm sitting here surrounded by about two dozen boxes packed with stuff, and that's just the upstairs. Downstairs is slowly coming together, but let's face it, that's still a fucking mess, too. Then there's this full-time job, which I actually have to work hard at and pay attention to, mainly because I actually want to.

Oh, and don't read too much into my bullshit here - Fuck Everything isn't going anywhere. I'm never going to stop complaining about, well, everything, and if I'm gonna do that, why not share with a bunch of strangers?

So, thanks to all you FE readers out there. I'll do what I can to maintain the low level of quality you've come to expect from this site.