Saturday, December 06, 2003

Okay, so I get a ton of hits (well, ton is relative, but you know what I mean) for Final Fantasy X and X-2 related images. Usually, some sort of pics of Yuna naked or being raped or something. Then, of course, we all know about the sick fucks looking for Inspector Gadget porn. This, however, is a new one:

thundercats pornography

That's right, everyone. Thundercats pornography.
Some of you may be familiar with Matt, best known for his work in Fe comments. Well, he's started his own blog, so why not go check it out. Maybe we can keep him occupied so that he doesn't have to waste so much of his life here!
ETP sent me this link about four months ago, and I just got around to watching it. Yes, four months to follow a fucking link from an e-mail. It's a Windows media player file embedded in a web page, and I don't have Linux set up to deal with that shit (if it's possible; I'm sure it is with mplayer or XMMS or something, but I just don't care that much) plus I'd never think about it whenever I was running Windows.

Anyway, yet more proof that the Japanese have way too much fucking time on their hands.

Friday, December 05, 2003

I need to get this t-shirt and wear it all the time.
Jesus fucking Christ, the man already has libraries, highways, an airport, and a fucking AIRCRAFT CARRIER named after him. Does he really need to be on the dime, for fuck's sake? Quit sucking the old man's dick - it's not like he even knows you're doing it nor will he remember it once you're done.

Reagan was "wounded under the left arm by a bullet that had ricocheted and flattened to the size of a dime." That is the stupidest fucking argument I've ever heard for ANYTHING.

I'm gonna go find myself a sack of dimes and beat myself over the head with it until I'M SO FUCKING BRAIN DAMAGED THAT I CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND SHIT LIKE THIS ANYMORE.
You know what term I've never fully understood when applied to alcohol? "Dry." "Yes, I do believe I'll have a dry vermouth." Yes, yes, I can recognize when something is "dry," but that really should be the last term anyone is using as a descriptor.

How the fuck can an alcoholic beverage be dry? I mean, by its very nature, anything you drink is wet. I've never gone to the liquor store and picked up some powdered vodka before. As soon as you can pick me up some dehydrated gin, then we'll talk "dry."

I think referring to alcohol as "dry" is just some bullshit that was completely made up by lame, rich, pretentious fucks so that they could seem hip, cool, and "with it." I also think that this is how the entire French language came into being.
I'm not fully convinced that this guy is going to teach me how to be a double-E.

Star Track

You've heard me bitch about Star Trek before. As we all know, I'm a big Trekkie. Not a "Trekker," by the way; I don't need to make up some sort of bullshit moniker to try and hide how big of a fucking loser dork I am. Anyway, this article got me thinking about the sorry state of the franchise yet again.

I really wish Paramount would give Trek a rest for the time being. After the most recent two series, we're not in a good place. Voyager, with the exception of the Holodoc and Seven of Nine when she first arrived (and no, not just because she was hot, but that was part of it), was total shit. Enterprise isn't much better. Like I said in that linked post, a couple of characters are cool, the rest of them are not. Besides, when one of the best characters is the hick, that oughta tell you a lot.

Star Trek, as a franchise, has lots of problems with it. One of the biggest, I've always felt, is Rick Berman, the man who took over after Gene Roddenberry died. Berman really doesn't give a shit about anything other than doing what he wants and what he likes. This was never more evident than with his comments one time about the atrocious opening theme of Enterprise. This fucking opening song is nearly universally reviled as being the worst piece of shit ever, anywhere, at any time. But will Berman do anything about it? No, because in his words, "I like it." Nevermind what might actually be pleasing to fans. If ol' fuckhead Berman likes it, it goes.

It isn't entirely Berman's fault, of course. Sure, it's real easy to pick on him, but there are plenty of other issues. Like the fact that Star Trek is fucking old. I mean, nearly 40 years. That's a long time for an entertainment franchise. Shit has been hashed, then rehashed, and then rehashed some more. There's only so much that you can do before you've run out of unique, interesting ideas, but they're trying to pretend to do it with a total of 10 movies and five TV series thus far.

That last set of figures points out another problem: overexposure. We've been bombarded with so much shit, with a good deal of it being actual shit (like, Voyager). Part of the problem there is that a lot of the overexposure has come well past Trek's prime. The franchise hit a peak in popularity back in '94 when The Next Generation was going off the air (at least as far as I've seen in my lifetime). I mean, even mainstream media was paying decent attention to Trek, which doesn't happen all too often. Liking Star Trek almost wasn't as nerdy for about six seconds.

Since '94, we've been hit with the last several seasons of Deep Space Nine, Voyager, Enterprise, and four movies. That's a decent amount in 9 years coming mostly from just one team.

Even though we'd still be close to where we are now, things wouldn't be so bad if not for poor execution. Take for instance the end of DS9. DS9 was decent for the first five years, even though it lost my interest for awhile, but then was pretty good the last two seasons. And how do they reward us? By wrapping up waaaaay too much shit (like a fucking war) in the last half hour of the series. This was followed by Sisko leaving his son, new wife, and unborn child behind so he could hit the pub with his buddies, the Prophets. Oh, yeah, and a bunch of other fucking people packed up and left the station, too. That disunity just left me with a real sour taste when I though of how Next Gen ended: with the last shot being the main cast sitting around a poker table playing cards. "All Good Things..." is how you end a fucking series, my friends. "What you leave behind" is not.

Okay, the lack of unity amongst the cast sorta makes sense if the rumors that they all hated eachother and wanted to get the fuck out of there was true. Still, it doesn't change the shitty pacing of things, nor does it excuse making Sisko look like a total dick, even if he was going to hang out with gods.

Speaking of bad endings, that brings us to Voyager's last episode. I liken this to sitting there being fucked in the ass for seven seasons, and then just as you're getting used to that unpleasant feeling, they shove a big juicy cock into your mouth for you to choke on.

Even though I mostly lost track of Voyager after a couple of seasons, I watched on occasion up to the last episode. Then there were people who were there for all seven fucking years. Seven years of watching this ship and crew trying to get back home. And how are we all rewarded? With a big fight against the Borg for most of the last episode, with the ship getting back to Earth at the very end of the episode, and then... We're done! No "welcome home" celebration, no getting an idea as to where the characters' lives will go now that they're back, nothing. Just a shot of the ship in orbit of Earth superimposed on an image of Berman giving you the finger, then the credits.

As another point of poor execution, let's talk about the Borg for a minute, and how Voyager ruined them. Remember how they Borg were once really scary, and you were like, "fuck, how they hell is the Enterprise going to get out of this one?" when they showed up? Then Voyager came along and totally pussified them, driving them so low as to bringing them to the level where they could be bargained with. Shit, thanks to Voyager, I almost feel that if the Borg walked into my office right now, I could fucking take them. Oh, yeah, then there's the whole "we rehabilitated Seven of Nine after years of being a Borg," which just made Picard look like a total cold-blooded killer in First Contact.

These are just a few of the lowlights, of course, but we might as well get Enterprise into the mix. I already mentioned some problems with the show in that earlier post (shitty, apathetic writers, lame characters, no concern for continuity, etc.), but one huge one, for me at least, was the whole fucking premise of the show. "A Star Trek prequel! Neat!" Not neat. Out of all the ideas I heard being thrown around for a new series back when Enterprise was in the planning stages, a prequel was the worst one. I hated the idea of going backward, when one of the principles of the whole goddamn franchise was about looking forward. And it wasn't just going backward, it was going backward in a manner that could potentially trample on all sorts of shit that was already well established. Plus, the dork in me wanted to see something further in the future just so we could see cool new shit, instead of a goddamn ship that doesn't even have shields. Makes me wanna polarize someone's hull plating, alright... Whatever the fuck that means.

Clearly, if Trek was going to continue, they had to move out of the 24th century. Three series set in the same time period had fucked the life out of that time period. But why the hell did that have to go back in time? This isn't a fucking Huey Lewis song, goddammit, no matter how much I happen to like Huey Lewis.

In the end, what all this amounts to is that no one cares about Trek anymore. They're burned out, they're fed up, they're gone. Yeah, there's some hard-core fans out there who still support the franchise. There are some people who will never leave, because they'll eat whatever shit Paramount shovels at them so long as it has Star Trek written on it.

This to me is just sad, that the venerated Trek saga has just become an old, abused whore. It's sad because Trek was more than what most people knew it as, namely, a sci-fi fest that nerds wet themselves over. Yes, the cool technology and the outer space shit is neat to all of us, but to me, Trek (the good parts of it, at least), has always been so much more.

Ask any dork why he likes Star Trek, and you'll probably get some variant of this: "It represents a positive view of the future of humanity!" God, I get so sick of that bullshit, overplayed, canned response. It's partly because of people like this (who are often at cons in pointy ears or a full-on Klingon getup, or, worse yet, fucking know the Klingon language which, yes, they have actually made up) that Trek has such a bad rep, one that people never get past.

Yes, the "positive view of the future" stuff is true - but that barely scratches the surface. Star Trek's roots are in the sixties, the time of the peak of the Cold War, Vietnam, Civil Rights, and what have you. A good deal of the original series, Next Gen, and even DS9 is pure social commentary. Each episode is more than just people in spandex running around space; each episode is like a mini-morality play. The show has always been more about that than being a sci-fi show; it's commentary which is merely packaged in the futuristic setting. Probably surprising to many is that I really don't like sci-fi as a genre, but Trek really appealed to me because it offered more than just spaceships and aliens.

Again, of course, even I get a hard on for phasers and warp cores. I'm pretentious, for sure, but not so pretentious that I won't cop to that fact. Fuck, I own theStar Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual; I know how warp drive is supposed to work. I couldn't run from that nerdiness even if I wanted to.

An entertainment writer once questioned as to whether or not The X Files was "thinking man's sci-fi." Yeah, for a stupid man, it is. This is nothing against X Files, because I really liked that show, before T1000 (AKA Richard Patrick's brother) showed up, of course. X Files, though, was pretty low-common-denominator stuff, and didn't really require a lot of thought to figure out what the hell was going on. It was still fun, nonetheless, but I would have to say that Trek long ago took the role of "thinking man's sci-fi" if ever a series deserved it.

Despite this proud history, nowadays Star Trek is not just a sci-fi fest that nerds wet themselves over, it's a sci-fi fest that nerds wet themselves over that's a piece of shit. This lousy situation has me wishing that Paramount would quit raping Roddenberry's corpse, cut their losses, and just let things die out already. Maybe in ten years or so do another movie at a time when people might be excited about the prospect of new Trek, maybe even craving it.

This, of course, won't happen. And I understand why; Paramount is in business to make money. Even if I can understand the pragmatism behind the drive to keep Trek on the air, I still think it sucks.
I know that it won't fly with anybody, but I don't even need fucking statistics or tests to tell me that things like the Texas program is a stupid idea.

Standardized testing as the basis for education is a bad fucking idea, and I know this from experience. In high school, I was in the International Baccalaureate program. It was usually referred to by its acronym, IB, although that was often expanded into things like "It Blows." That oughta give you an idea as to what the program was like.

IB was a lot like AP, only with a bunch of extra bullshit. The program was more structured and basically ran all four years of high school. In addition to classes and shit we had to do 250 hours of community service (mandatory volunteer work) and a huge fucking research paper at the end. Finally, we had to take several tests similar to the AP exams in our last couple of years.

IB pretty much stifled any sort of creativity or desire to learn, because we became ultra-focused on the IB exams. I can't even count the number of times that a teacher was trying to cover some material, or was thinking about covering some material, and a student asked "Is this going to be on the IB exam?" If the answer was "No," we either convinced the teacher to change the lesson plan or we just ended up ignoring what we were taught since we had exam-related shit that we needed to get down.

This isn't because we were stupid or lazy. Okay, we were lazy, but we were still the "smart kids." I'm not trying to be too elitist here, but there were some fucking bright kids in there, along with some medium-smart kids (where I could be found), and then some kids who actually were kinda fucking dumb. Anyway, the problem was that we knew that we had to do well on the IB exams; passing those was paramount. As such, we ended up learning just for the exam, whether by design or student selectivity in what he studied.

To this very day, I have trouble (and sorry for the cliche) thinking outside the box. Yeah, I know, that goes for a lot of people. But it doesn't really carry well in the engineering field. I can trace my difficulties when it comes to problem solving and creativity back to IB, when there was nothing beyond the exam with its one single right answer to be prepared for.

Something similar happens with these stupid programs like TAAS. The results of those tests are so important for funding, recognition, and whatnot that teachers end up doing what our IB teachers did - they taught students what they needed to know so they could pass that exam. Students learn nothing more, and nothing less. This isn't just a guess on my part, either. Here in Colorado we have a similar program, the CSAP tests. I've seen plenty of anecdotal evidence that suggests teachers teach material designed solely for higher test scores, leaving them with little or no time to teach anything beyond the CSAPs.

In doing this, of course, exams scores do tend to go up. Of course they do; how could they not, when teachers were gearing the curriculum specifically for taking that test? The real question remains, are those kids any better off, or will they be any more prepared to meet real-world challenges?

I contest that those kids are no better off, and in fact, they are probably worse off. Shit that's on standardized tests is just not applicable to real-life situations. Focusing so heavily on the exams detracts from other things the students could be learning. Things that could be truly enriching, and helping to foster a love of learning. Standardized testing closes off an entire world, because that test becomes your world.

The problem, though, is those rising test scores. They look good on paper, and that's good for the politicians. As such, these programs are allowed to continue. Unfortunately, though, the numbers don't really mean anything when you look at true child development. Unfortunately, this is yet another instance where politics takes precedent over improving people's lives.
For a change of pace, some happy news from Russia.
Maybe she doesn't need that $30 DVD player after all.
Thanks a lot, eBay. There goes my next money-making scheme.
Man, this is great, as it is the fusion of two of my favorite things: women and hatred of G. Dubya.

Came across this gem at the unofficial Bush/Cheney '04 'blog.
Oh, and as if things weren't bad enough, now I'm #2 in searches for "man fucks dog." Question for Google: WHY MUST YOU RUIN EVERYTHING THAT'S GOOD AND PURE IN MY WORLD?!?!?!?!?!?!
Original Voltron on DVD. Nice.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Did I shave my legs get a Master's for this?

So I spent the day today helping lay insulation in someone's house. The obvious question is: What the fuck does that have to do with Electrical Engineering? The obvious answer is: nothing.

Yeah, things are still slow at work, so one guy who does the same work I'm (maybe someday going to be) doing decided to take the day off to insulate his house, and he tapped me to help. Since they were willing to give me a paid day off at work, I was like, what the hell. I'll do it.

Mistake.

If you've ever laid insulation in a house, you know how badly the process sucks. If you've never done it, don't. And don't contract any of your friends to help, either, because you won't have friends for long if you do.

Okay, it wasn't all that horrible. I just rather would have been sitting on my ass at my desk instead. My job today was to feed the insulation spraying machine with insulation while my co-worker was upstairs actually spraying the shit. So I'm sitting there in the cold garage with a runny nose and fogged up goggles staring down 40 packages of fiberglass insulation. 40 packages might not seem like so much. Except that it is. As if just the sheer number of packages wasn't enough, they pack this shit tighter than a 12-year-old girl. So, when you split open a package of insulation, it accordions out to about 2-3 times its original volume.

Then there's the fact that fiberglass is about the most evil fucking shit ever created. Where the hell are the HVAC engineers? Why can't they come up with something less fucked up than GLASS in FIBER form that's effective and cheap as a home insulator? Couldn't they just make the whole goddamn house out of Thermos or something? I mean, even with some safety glasses and a surgeon's mask, that fiberglass shit is bound to find its way into your eyes and onto your skin at some point. This left me, for awhile, feeling a bunch of little pricks on various parts of my body. And for once those pricks weren't the penises of 10-year-old boys.

About halfway through, I realized the guy would probably take me out to dinner, so it wouldn't be that bad. And I decided immediately that we would be going out for Kroff sushi dinner. There's this place here in town that I've been wanting to hit ever since I moved in, and so I decided to take advantage of things if given the opportunity.

So, yeah, I got paid for doing something nowhere near related to my job, and I got a free sushi meal out of it, so it's okay. Still, though, it's only adding to my feelings of being fucking worthless at my job, which already puts me where I was at my last two jobs. So at least I've been here before. As I've been bullshitting for weeks, however, things should pick up at some point and you'll eventually hear me complaining about how I'm working too much and feeling a little too useful. In essence.

This also had one other intangible benefit, as it shows that my job has one thing I love: scheduling flexibility. Since I've been showing up between like 10 and 11 AM most days with no one giving a fuck, I was pretty sure things would be okay on this front. Today's activities cemented that feeling.

Oh, and hey, I think I totally deserve an award for slipping in not one, but two pedophile jokes into this post.
I find it amusing that someone showed up in my referral log as being from "newchurch.edu" while doing a Google search for "hard core pussy fucking.'

I say this with no ego, but I think I've gotta have one of the most interesting/disturbing referral logs out there. I definitely need to submit some of those searches to this site, which was suggested by a reader.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Here's a pointless Google search:

+"barbie doll" +"twin sister" +doll +list

Couldn't you just buy two of the same Barbie and achieve the same effect? Oh, well, I suppose it could be fraternal twins, or twin brother and sister. But where's the fun in that? They should be identical twin sisters. And hot. And not dolls. And... Um, forget it. You know where this is going.
This kid is my hero for the week.
Here's yet another 'blog that linked me somewhat recently: EvilChristian's blog. This one didn't show up on Link Cosmos recently since the link to FE is now buried somewhere in his archive, and the LC will only tell me about front-page links. But fuck it, we'll link 'im anyway.

So, yeah, sorry for all these late link-backs. I don't know why I'm apologizing, since it's not like I'm obligated to do this, I just like to do it since I'm a nice guy. Okay, I'm not a nice guy, but oh well, I do it anyway. I've been A) lazy or B) busy the past month, as some of you know. And, yes, more lazy than busy, but for once I've got, or had, actual shit going on, so quit riding me unless if you're planning on migrating to 'riding' in the happy fun sexual way.
This is just fucking stupid.

I'm real sure that when GTA:VC says "Kill the Haitians," the game isn't implying "Kill the Haitians [the group of which we're currently fighting]" but instead really means "Kill the Haitians [every last one of their kind, no matter where on the globe they may be]."
In a link lifted from BBspot, it's time to start gearing up for this year's Festivus celebration! Okay, maybe "celebration" is too strong of a word, but you know what I mean.
After the whole master/slave bullshit from last week, BBspot has come up with a great list entitled Top 11 Other Computer Terms Banned by Los Angeles County which includes some suggested replacements.
A post over at IHNL reminded me that it was time to go check for next year's Demotivators.

These are great for anyone who's pissed off like me, anyone who hates those stupid fucking motivational posters, and disaffected college students. The 2004 collection is pretty good, which is cool since the last few years have been kinda lame. Amongst others from this year and years past, I think I really need to get "Power" and put it up in my office.

As a bonus, they're re-releasing the calendar from their first year, which is fucking neat. Time to finally get on that shit. Or not.
One thing that I haven't seen much press over is the fact that the EU is currently discussing plans to create its own defense organization. Naturally, this has the US and NATO feeling somewhat nervous. Here and here are a couple of stories I've read today on the developing story.
Oh, and fuck, I knew there was at least one more 'blog that had linked me but wasn't showing up in Technorati's Link Cosmos. Good thing I've got my trusty SIteMeter referral log as a backup to help me obsessively check for new inbound links.

Be sure and check out Indiscretions, a great 'blog with fun post titles like "Why I Feel As If I'm Being Anally Raped With a Steel Rod Right About Now."
Someone got here doing a search for the following:

the dirty part of love hina never publish and uncensored

Okay, so there's a decent chance that this guy is just looking for some LH hentai doujinshi or something. That, or he's just confused, because "the dirty part" really isn't very specific. I mean, the whole LH series is fairly dirty. Sure, it's not Onegai Twins dirty, but the LH manga is the only place so far where I've seen a line like "Get your face out of my ass!"

If this is something legit, however, I NEED to know what the fuck it is and where I can find it. No pathetic LH fanboy such as myself could ever go on living not having seen some material that's out there. Well, with the exception of the last OVA, which I own but is still shrinkwrapped because I don't want to see the end of the series and have it be over.

Yes, I know I have problems.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Here's the most irritating spam of the day:

Find Christian singles in your city!

Yeah, I'd like to find Christian singles in my city, alright. And then they're in big fucking trouble.

A little note to the sender of this spam, BigChurch.com: keep spamming me, and you're going to fucking be BurnedDownChurch.com.

Quote from a member on their front page:

"I met Christopher on Bigchurch.com and knew God was in our relationship. Chris is such an amazing blessing in my life. Thanks BigChurch!!"

God is in your relationship? What kind of fucking pervert is your god, anyway? Besides, I thought he was against polygamy. Or at least not into three ways.

Wait, I take that back! God is totally into three-ways - what the fuck did you think the "holy trinity" was all about?
Okay, so it's been way too long since I've acknowledged all those people who have linked to this piece of garbage, so we'd better get to it before I completely give up on doing this.

This guy is not taking any shit from you.

So anyway... is a 'blog run by someone who hates people, and as we all know, I am so down with that. Also, don't worry if you see the 'blog changing colors - it did that to me, too.

There are monsters to be found at fidgeting wildly.

Despite the fact that she's too old for me, Mary's 'blog Naked Furniture is good times. In case if you're wondering about the "too old" comment, you can check this out.

As always, thanks to those people who linked me, and sorry you're now associated in some way with this 'blog.
I am so fucking pissed off right now. You're probably gonna be pissed once you get finished with this post, so you've been warned. Two reasons for why I'm pissed. Why you'll be pissed will soon become apparent.

First off: fuck Mozilla, fuck Java, and fuck Flash. More of the latter two, but Mozilla deserves some fucking. I have three versions of Mozilla installed on my machine: 1.3, 1.5, 1.6alpha. I cannot get a version of the browser that works with both Java and Flash. 1.3 works with Java, but not Flash. 1.5 and 1.6a work with Flash but not Java.

God, I hate any site that uses Flash for its interface. Amusing games and animations are okay, but your UI in Flash is fucking bullshit. Why don't you just find a way to make your entire site out of PowerPoint, you dick?

Fuck Java. Java's a stupid language. Portable code, neat idea. Still stupid. Fuck OO programming.

Second reason: if you do a search for "man fucks dog," guess who's number one? That's right, Fuck Everything. How do I know this? I know this, because Tyler knows this. Actually, I know this because SiteMeter knows this.

I'm not actually pissed for the reason you might think. Initially, its disappointing that I get so many hits for people looking for bestiality porn, because I really wish those people were finding their way here for political wit and insight. When I realize that there is no wit or insight here, I get over it. Also, I don't mind the dog fuckers like I do the pedophiles. In an opinion that's sure to scare everyone off, I'm not really bothered by people who are into sex with animals. Even if it's disgusting to 99.9999999% of the population, bestiality is fine by me as long as you're not hurting the animal and not forcing anyone else to do it. So fuck a dog, fuck a goat, I don't care. Fuck a child, and you should die. This, too, is probably a post for another time, where I will lose more readers than I just lost.

No, the reason why I'm pissed off is because initially, the post that turned up in the Google results was the one where I quoted the "man-on-dog enthusiast Rick Santorum" line from Al Franken's book. Do you know how fucking cool that was, to have people searching for men fucking dogs, and the first thing they see is Rick Santorum's name? Maybe it's just me, and I know that it didn't really do anything, but I still took some pride in it. Which says a lot about me. Now, though, I'm still number one, but it's not the Santorum post that shows up in the results. God effing damn it.

So, yeah. Fuck Mozilla, fuck Google, fuck Flash, fuck OO programming. Fuck everything, while we're at it.

And now, for your reading pleasure, are some dog sex related jokes:

"Red rocket! Red rocket!"
- South Park

"So the vet tells me that I have to take our dog's temperature rectally. The problem is, you really need two hands just to steady the dog. So what I did is I tied the thermometer to my dick with a rubber band, freeing up my hands. So I position myself behind her, and... No, no, the dick doesn't go inside, just the thermometer! So anyway, I'm doing this, and my wife gets home. I tell her 'Honey, I think the dog's pregnant' and she says 'Yeah, keep fuckin' her!'"
- Robert Schimmel

"You know what else I'm getting sick of? Guys who put music on their outgoing answering machine message. Since this guy's busy in the basement jacking off his dog, I have to listen to sub-standard music."
- George Carlin

"Uh, sorry dude. David Cross is a dog fucker. You've just been Crossed my man."
- David Cross
So, yeah, sorry for blowing my 'blogging load all over your computer screen today. Lucky for you that even though I'm quick to disappoint, I'm also quick to re-load. As such, I might be able to squeeze out a couple more posts tonight.

The reason for the return to posting rates of yore (namely, a couple of months ago) is because I'm still in the ramp-up phase at work, and there's next to no real work for me to do at the moment. Basically, I'm waiting for some other guys to get some shit done and then hand it off to me. Until then, things are slow.

In theory, things should get busy at some point. For now, though, I'm just going to enjoy wasting time and getting paid for it.
An interesting case currently being argued in the Supreme Court.
You know, with as fucking fat as kids are these days, I suppose we might as well just start them down that road early. Maybe the doctors oughta check one more time to make sure that the baby isn't actually a conjoined set.
Gift from god? Not to the baby, it isn't. Just wait until he grows up with that huge birthmark on his face, being relentlessly teased by other kids, and then ask him how much he likes his "miracle." Better yet, ask Gorbachev - he can tell 'ya.

Yet another example as to how stupid religious people can take some random occurrence and twist it into something it's not. "Roughly forms," indeed. To me, it looks like that birthmark roughly forms the head of Yoshi from Super Mario World, but you don't see me calling it a "gift from Nintendo."
What the fuck would we ever do without the brilliance of The Onion? Well, we wouldn't have anything to do when we're bored at work on Tuesday afternoon, that's for sure.
What was I saying about how we have work to do when it comes to our attitudes on homosexuality?

Okay, yeah, there may be just some sort of misunderstanding, and we're not getting the full story, but still.
Like usual, we're not out of the woods yet.

Yeah, the economy does seem to be picking up steam. Two questions remain: is this upturn sustainable, and where the fuck are the jobs? We've seen points where things started looking up before, and then they flattened out or went south again. This does seem to be as good as it has gotten in quite awhile, though, so we'll just have to wait and see.
Wow, I don't even have to try and come up with excuses to talk about stroke books today - it's all being done for me.

The Abercrombie catalog is offensive, but not for the reasons these uptight cunt advocacy groups are pushing. ETP put it best when we looked at last year's catalog:

"Um, yeah, this says XXX on the cover, but I don't see any hardcore penetration shots."

The catalog is far from "racy," unless if "racy" now means "weak-ass shit that failed to give me a hardon." Also, the notion that they're trying to "sell sexual ideology to teens" is nonsense. I mean, TEENS, for Christ's sake. I don't know where "ideology" comes into play, but you don't need to sell anything sex-related to teens, simply because they're fucking teens. Those raging hormones are what being a teen is all about.

Honestly, does anyone see shit like this and think to themselves "Gee, I didn't know sexual promiscuity was so well accepted, I'm gonna have to give that a shot" despite the fact that there's no fucking involved in this piece of shit catalog? Oh, wait, there are articles on sex. Oh no! We can't have that!

Of course, we all know where I stand on the whole "teenage-looking" thing, and it just goes to show you that I'm not alone. Exactly where is the harm in looking at some underage poon? Oh, wait, except for the fact that THEY'RE NOT EVEN FUCKING UNDERAGE.

This whole "we're fighting such-and-such to protect the children" is a bullshit tactic designed to garner false sympathy for their cause. It's not about protecting children, it's about trying to push their Puritanical morals on the rest of us. Listen bitch, just because you only fuck missionary-style just to have kids doesn't mean that we all want to be as lame as you are, so fuck off already.

I'm more concerned about shit like Abercrombie's thongs for little girls. That's too creepy and fucked up even for me. Yeah, the thongs, and the blatant misrepresentation of something as porn that isn't. I say we burn Abercrombie down with that Maryam Kubasek broad trapped inside while she's getting fucked. Hard. In a loving manner, of course. Clearly, women like her could use a good stiff deep dicking every now and then. If nothing else, it might shut her up for awhile, and maybe she'll kill herself when she realizes what a dirty, dirty whore she really is.
Apparently, someone out there submitted my site to Blorgy. It's nice to see that someone else actually feels my site is worth promoting, especially since I don't really think it's worth promoting (ignoring the one time I did experiment with text ads).

That is, unless of course, if this person is just trying to get me in trouble. The post that ended up being linked off their page is the one where I was talking about how badly it would suck if Bush were assassinated, and the teaser line for the link merely says "Assasinate Bush." If that's what you were up to, then I just wanted to let you know that I'll be sure and keep you in mind when the feds come for me.

But if you weren't trying to get me in trouble, then thanks!
Programs like this, which amount to nothing more than racial profiling, leave me kind of conflicted.

There's, of course, the big side of me that hates to see shit like this going down. Singling out a group of people and making them go through shit that others don't have to go through just because of where their ancestry lies. If nothing else, it seems to run over due process, with the implication of "maybe guilty until proven innocent."

Then there's the other side of me which says that the first side is being too fucking PC, and that we need to be practical about things like this. The people who are trying to kill us are predominately Middle Eastern or Muslim. Of course, that's not to say that all the people who want to kill us are of Middle Eastern or Muslim descent, just the ones who (so far) have been willing to fly planes into fucking buildings.

Even if it is practical, it's rife with potential for abuse and the ruining of lives that don't deserve to be ruined. This potential for abuse, along with the inherent damage to civil rights, is what pisses me off most about things like mandatory registration, the PATRIOT Act, and whatnot. Yes, it'd be nice if law enforcement would always play nice and not exploit things like this for non-terrorist activities, but you know that they have and will continue to do so.

One thing I would like to see is less harassment of people who have no known links to anything terrorist related, and more harassment of those who do have some known links. As September 11th helped demonstrate, we are clearly not doing a good enough job of keeping an eye on the people who we should be keeping an eye on.

Yes, new bad guys are going to show up from time to time and slip though the cracks. That's just one of the tough issues with having a system like we do. This is kind of along the lines of the tenet of "it's better to let 100 guilty men go free than to imprison one innocent man." We have to make tradeoffs like that in order to continue having the society and values that we have. It's just hard to argue that against 3,000 dead, but the argument has to be made.
While we're in the middle of perpetuating racial and ethnic stereotypes, here's something that's been bugging me as of late.

I have this issue when I'm trolling around the net for Asian girls or reading (hah! reading!) a magazine. I will see one of the models and think "Hey, she's pretty hot." Then, later in the issue or on another site, I'll see a girl and think the same thing. Then, when I actually do some reading and see her name, I realize it's the same fucking girl from before.

The obvious joke here is the stereotype that "all Asians look alike." That's not quite the racist asshole statement I'm trying to make. Actually, I'm not trying to make any kind of statement, this is more of a "what the fuck is up with that?" general kind of musing.

I really am not trying to be a prick here, because I honestly I just cannot nail down facial recognition of Asians women (and by extension, men, but it's not like I'm out looking for Japanese boys in school uniforms). It's not because they all look alike, but apparently because they don't look like anything. If they did, I would surely be able to tell one from herself. I mean, I can fucking recognize the goddamn kanji for some of their names now, but I still can't pick them out of a crowd. Okay, there are literally a few exceptions where I can see a girl and maybe find myself 90% sure that I know who she is, but that's about it.

What the fuck is up with that? Why can't I get this facial recognition thing down with east Asian women? I don't have this problem with any other groups, either. I suspect part of the problem is because I have been painfully underexposed to Asian culture and people at this point of living in this society. You do have a decent representation of lots of cultures out there, but Asian doesn't seem to be one of them. Not in my experiences, at least, and that probably just goes to show you that I do not do a very good job of wandering outside of this lame white bubble I'm in. Which is sad coming from someone who is only half white. Maybe another part of the issue for me is that I'm still lousy with Asian names, and as such, even if I see a face, I don't have a name to associate with it. No, that can't quite be it, since sometimes I'll be looking at a set of pictures, and I know two different shots are of the same model, but I'm still like "Wait, are these two the same girl?"

I don't know; maybe they do all just look alike.

I've never really thought about what goes into recognizing faces, and how it is that I can see someone I've seen before and know who they are, or, alternatively, see someone again who I know but not realize it's them. Anyone know what the mechanics of this shit are?
Oh, come on, Russia. Just how much pollution do you need to be producing just to make vodka, anyway?

The environment is so fucked. It's fucked because no one will care until either A) it starts effecting them financially or B) it's too late. Since no one is going to step up and suggest, nonetheless enact, serious monetary penalties for environmental harm, we're going to end up at B. Of course, since B most likely won't happen in our lifetime, people care even less.
Did anyone hear the story about the woman who was trampled at a Wal-Mart this past Friday? Yeah, she was going for a pile of $30 DVD players, but there was such a mad rush that this woman got knocked down and took a blow to the head. She ended up hospitalized after the blow lead to her having seizures.

I was reading a quick blurb about this in the paper, and of course they had a comment that Wal-Mart was very sorry about the whole affair. Also, Wal-Mart offered to put a DVD player on hold for her.

It's not like we don't know Wal-Mart is a big asshole fuckhead corporation who would rollback prices on human slaves for the holidays if indeed they could get away with selling slaves. Still, for a company that had record-breaking sales this past weekend to offer to place on hold instead of just fucking giving a bloody $30 DVD player to someone who had seizures as a result of visiting their store is just a stunningly new low.

I know that I feel like having seizures every goddamn time I shop at Wal-Mart, but it hasn't yet happened. If I did have a seizure, the least those cocksuckers could do is give me a break on something that costs a mere $30.
Continuing with the "stuff to masturbate to" theme we have going today (especially the Krugman article), I offer up this.

This at first looks like a stupid idea, but then gets kinda interesting when you think how neat it is to see a chick fight, and they up the ante by getting Lawrence Taylor involved, but then it goes back to stupid when you realize "Why don't they just have a regular ol' chick fight?," and then finally ends up completely stupid when you see that it costs $30. Thanks anyway, Dodge, but I can find stroke material elsewhere.

I do have to give Dodge some credit for the two guys in the bathroom commercial. It's just sad that something like that is considered somewhat "controversial." Once again, though we are so bloody uptight about anything sexual or remotely "dirty." If you want something controversial and dirty, I can show it to you, assholes.

We're afraid of anything sex related. Except for Viagra. For some reason, this one is acceptable now. This is a pill used by, amongst others, old men who can't get their dicks to work. We get edgy with dick/car commercials, but pills to enable geriatric wood is A-OK. It's odd that the Viagra thing irritates me, since I'm all for us being more open about sex, even if it may or may not involve old people. I think it's just the fact that we are usually so tight-lipped (I think there's a pun in there, and it was intentional) about anything sex-related that when I do see us being comfortable, I'm so taken back that it kinda scares me.

Of course, then there are areas where we look like we're accepting something, but really aren't. A good example of this is the "gay craze" that's sweeping pop culture. Will and Grace, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, etc. All this crap that is designed to look like mainstream acceptance of gays when it really isn't. I promise you, the second any of those Queer Eye fans see two men making out, they're gonna be screaming "Ewwwww! Gross!"

This isn't to say that we haven't come a long way in terms of not being total homophobe pussies. I just hate seeing this forced and contrived shit that is packaged as something that it isn't.

As I said, we're making progress. The Supreme Court striking down sodomy laws. The Massachusetts court decision paving the way for gay marriage. Things like this are real progress, and will lead to actual acceptance of homosexuality.

Well, okay. Considering how fucking weak and lame Americans are (as evidenced by the large numbers who are against gay marriage for no good fucking reason), I don't know if we'll ever really have true acceptance. But if we can at least afford these people the same rights and privileges as the rest of us while not criminalizing what they do in their bedrooms that harms no one else, then it'll be something.
There's been some decent coverage of this topic over on Slashdot, but as Krugman points out, there hasn't been much discussion in the mainstream media (which is no surprise given that it's, well, the mainstream media).
Okay, so I just realized something that may explain the lack of school uniform stuff out there. I could be wrong, but I think that in terms of movies, it would be illegal to even imply that the character (is "character" the right word to use when discussing pornography, because it sounds wrong) is underage if there's any fucking involved. It doesn't matter whether or not the actual actress (again, sounds wrong) is over 18 (which of course, she should be, otherwise those people actually are going to jail). Context and implication are what's important.

Believe it or not, though, I don't watch a ton of videos. On occasion, yeah, but as I pointed out in that last post, a lot of it is pretty cookie cutter. I download plenty of pictures, though, even though those are pretty tame and cookie cutter as well. Still, that keeps me entertained, and I would imagine that once again I'm not alone. There doesn't even have to be nudity with the uniform thing to keep me happy. So, yeah, nevermind. None of this is really going to fly, since I have a feeling most people wanna see some tits and some fucking. I'll just stick with my pervert friends overseas.
Not surprisingly, the Sailor Schoolgirl 'blog is having issues yet again. Even though it hasn't gotten that many hits since I updated, I'm already over the bandwidth cap for the day on the image hosting servers. I suppose posting four new girls was not a great idea.

So, this leaves me with a few options:
  1. Just continue with what I'm doing, since traffic probably is going to die down back to nearly nothing anyway.
  2. Actually use that stupid Angelfire account, or start a new one, and actually build a site with decent thumbnail galleries and shit.
  3. Take advantage of the webspace Comcast gives me to build a site.
  4. Punt on the idea, because A) no one cares, B) it does nothing but kill time that I could put to use downloading more sailor schoolgirls for myself, and C) the site is just going to be used against me in my trial.

The problem with the middle two is that if I actually tried building a site, my OCD might finally kick in and I'd start spending waaaay to much time tweaking HTML and any other related shit. I'd kinda rather not do that because, even though I have the technical capability, any programming or programming-type activities just piss me off because they're so fucking lame.

I should probably just give up, but I was thinking that after like 8 years of leeching pr0n off of people online, maybe it was time to give something back. Like I said above, really, all it does is waste my time, and it doesn't exactly benefit me. Plus, it just takes away time from downloading other, new pr0n. But it's not like I don't have more web porn than I have time to jerk off to.

Another reason why I started the 'blog was because I had a thing for schoolgirl uniforms well before the whole Japanese fetish. And, as was pointed out by a female friend of mine, that seems to be near universal with guys. Despite the fondness so many guys have for school uniforms, you can't find fucking shit out there. Believe me, I've tried. How bloody hard is it to get a model into a plaid skirt, knee-highs, and a button up blouse? Pretty goddamn hard, apparently. Maybe there's some decent pay sites that have just what I've been looking for, but the only ones I've found have been sketchy at best. Plus, I try to avoid paying for shit whenever I can. As such, the Japanese stuff was perfect, because the Japanese are sick to the point where they don't fuck around when it comes to that genre. Finally, a group of people who are more fucked up than me.

So I'm like, yeah, I'm helping to promote something that I know there has to be a demand for but just doesn't seem as big as it could be here. I suppose there are reasons for that, though, mainly because we're so bloody uptight about sex here. In some ways I can understand, since school uniform implies schoolgirl, and we're not real comfortable with sexualizing, well, anything, but women under 40 in particular. Believe it or not, though, I don't need the uniform to be on an actual schoolgirl, I just like the bloody outfits. I suspect other guys are the same way. Still, I suppose there connotation of youth is always carried even if the uniform is on someone who's well beyond school age. I'm getting off track here - this is definitely another rant for another time.

Anyway, what's the end result of trying to popularize something that's already popular but not really "out there"? Say that a site I set up gets really popular. You know that if the sailor uniform thing caught on us Americans would just fuck it up and ruin the fetish for me. Because, let's face it, American porn is lame.

This isn't to say that I don't partake in watching or looking at American porn on, um, occasion. But it really is just the same lame, rehashed crap. Watch any porn movie, and it's always "guy fucks chick missionary, chick sucks guy's dick, guy fucks chick doggy style, guy drops unimpressively small load on chick's stomach." Oh, and stop with this blondes with big tits bullshit. Some of them are hot, most of them aren't. Period.

We can't do fetishes for shit, either. I've mentioned my foot fetish before, and this is frustrating to no end. I'll find sites that are foot and leg fetish-oriented, but so much of it seems to be things like women stepping on men's faces and crap like that. I don't want to see that. All you need to do is get some hot women running around barefoot while actually taking pictures that show off said bare feet to keep me happy. But oh no, they've got to do all this wacky shit because it's a fetish. Of course, I'm sure lots of guys go for the wacky, and I'm on my own here.

I'm probably also just not looking in the right places. But JFK, where the fuck do I need to be looking that I haven't hit with the hours upon hours I've wasted online?

That's right - we need to go overseas. Because as a friend pointed out, we make porn, but not really erotica. Nothing that's really interesting beyond the stroke factor. Europe, Asia, etc. seem to have some stuff that's at least different. Yeah, some shit (pun intended) that's too extreme for even me, but hey, I don't have to look at any of that if I don't want to. But maybe like usual, I'm just being a stupid fundamentalist, because after all, the main point is the stroke factor. I guess it'd just be nice to switch things up a bit.

Really, I'm not asking for much. More of the school uniform thing. Better, less creepy foot fetish stuff. Something other than women with bad tit jobs and shitty dye jobs. Oh yeah, and more women masturbating. As the old maxim goes, you just can't beat a chick playing with herself. Definitely need to see more of that.

Monday, December 01, 2003

Inspired by someone sending me a handful of pics (you know who you are, and thanks!), I decided to finally update my (mostly) sailor schoolgirl monument, Serafuku.
Hey, Bill. That's neat that you, you know, think and stuff. But what's the veridct, chief? Yay or nay on gay marriage?
A Guardian interview with Brian.
More happy news from Iraq.
The steel tariffs which have pissed off so many people may be coming to an end soon. What will the administration do in place of the tariffs to kiss ass with Big Steel?
Another banner day in the life of Rumsfeld.
I didn't know that Linda Tripp has/had breast cancer up until a few seconds ago. Score one for breast cancer!
Potentially interesting development in the redistricting craze that's sweeping the nation.