Friday, January 16, 2004

Here's a link via Penny Arcade, who also had a comic on the subject.

This issue has been in the news for awhile, and I've thought about commenting on it several times. I kinda avoided it, partly out of laziness, and partly out of the fact that commenting on the issue would be even more redundant than a lot of the other posts I make on this 'blog. After all, I make my feelings about foul language pretty clear with the name of this 'blog. If that fails to drive home the point, then just about every bloody post I've made should do the trick. But, fuck it, I'm bored, so let's chat.

God, I am so sick of this stupid debate. This really goes to show what uptight, unsophisticated, sissy cunts we are as a society. We're afraid of BAD WORDS. Oh no! Not bad words! What the fuck will ever save us from the horror of bad words?!

I promise you that except in cases of extreme volume, words never hurt anyone. Actually, I'm going to go a step further. Words never hurt anyone. Period. Not even really loud ones; we have physics and our own frail biology to blame in those cases. No, the words themselves have never done a goddamn thing to anyone.

Don't even give me any shit about children, who are always the unwilling reason for this debate. Here's the deal: if your kids are so fragile that words like "fuck" or "cunt" are going to irreparably damage them, then it is time for you to just euthanize your kids. They are not long for this world if they can't handle some filthy language every now and then. A lot of you aren't going to like this, but if you don't want your kids being potty mouths, then I once again suggest you try some parenting. Sorry, some fucking parenting.

People always like to forget that we have choices in this country. If you don't like the language or content of a particular TV program or radio broadcast, then just fucking change the channel or the station. "But what if my kids are accidentally exposed to it? I can't control everything they see or hear." Yeah, welcome to reality, asshole. You can't control everything your children are exposed to. They're going to be exposed to all sorts of shit no matter how hard you try or how many laws are passed. Unless if you want to keep them locked in a room for their entire lives, it's gonna happen, and you're going to have to fucking own up to conceiving the little bastards and somehow resolve the situation. No one ever said it was gonna be easy, but you're the one who signed on for this, so shut the fuck up and leave the rest of us alone.

Some people like to say that those who use curse words have limited vocabularies. This notion is just plain fucking stupid. For some people, yeah, that's true. Considering the size of the unwashed, uneducated masses out there, there are PLENTY of people with limited vocabularies, swear words or not. Shit, the way I look at it, my vocabulary is actually bigger since I will allow these words into my working set.

I'll be the first to stand up and point out that fucking using "fuck" as every fucking other word in a goddamn fucking sentence is not the fucking way to fucking sound like you're any fucking kind of educated fuck with any sort of fucking class. Most people, however, are not that bad. Even I'm not that bad, although I obviously come close more often than some people. And I don't use bad words when I'm in a situation where I know it's not appropriate. I'm flexible like that. In addition to being able to communicate using the standard, everyday acceptable language, I can bust out the elevated diction MORE than the next guy. So fuck all that shit, silent Bob. Learn when and when not to use bad words, unless of course if you just don't care.

Okay, that covers the social aspects of language. How about the legal ones? Well, not surprisingly, this arena pisses me off as well.

"It's irresponsible of our programmers to continue to try to push the envelope of a reasonable set of policies that tries to legitimately balance the interests of the First Amendment with the need to protect our kids."


Read: conservative fuckheads. By conservative, I'm not talking politically, I'm talking people who live in this narrow little bubble that they refuse to look beyond for fear that there might be something different, interesting, or even fun out there. This coming from me, who's pretty fuckin' narrowminded.

When it comes to all this, I go back to George Carlin, who said something along the lines of the following: "At one point it was decided that TV and radio were the only parts of speech that were not subject to the First Amendment protections of the Constitution. I'd like to repeat that, because it sounds vaguely important."

The First Amendment is not absolute. I know that. However, we have a yardstick for determining when the First Amendment can be restricted: when speech presents a clear and present danger. Where the fuck is the clear and present danger of using bad language? Oh, yeah, you can make arguments about how it's harming our children, or how it degrades us as a society. THOSE HARDLY QUALIFY AS "CLEAR."

Sorry for all the yelling, but it infuriates me to no end that one of our most sacred principles is continually violated based on the wishes of a religious and conservative base who want to push their boring ideals on EVERYONE.

The only reason why I can tolerate some censorship is because it makes it all that much more naughty when someone does use swear words. Censorship helps keep the edge on these words, and their taboo nature makes them more fun and interesting to use. I mean, shit, that's pretty much the main joke here at Fuck everything. The thing is, all these censor-happy fuckheads are not doing this so that we can be amused, they're doing it to push their lame-ass agendas on the rest of us. So no points for them.

Even in cases of racist or hateful language, I've again gotta go with Carlin. It's not the hateful words you need to worry about, it's the asshole who's saying those words that you've gotta watch out for. The actions coming from dumbasses like that oftentimes DO hurt people, but the words in and of themselves do not hurt anyone.

You know, if bad words were such a horrible, destructive force, then our society would have ceased to exist a long time ago. Shit, if these uptight ninnies were correct, this 'blog alone could bring about the fall of Western civilization. But you know what? People are using foul language everywhere everyday, and we're still here. So relax, say what you want, and just ignore what you don't want to hear. I don't see why that's such a big issue, since we're pretty good at ignoring shit already. Just lighten up America, will 'ya?

In closing, I think Eric Cartman put it best when he said "What's the big fuckin' deal, bitch? It doesn't hurt anyone. Fuck fuckitty fuck fuck fuck."

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