Tuesday, January 13, 2004

This is a quality post

Let's face facts: no one lands up with a condom in their soup for no reason. That woman musta done something to warrant a jimmy in her clam chowder. Someone put it in the "chowda house," alright!

Don't get me wrong; I'm not condoning this type of behavior. Reminds me of a Chris Rock rant about how just about anyone will give you an excuse to fuck them up, but that doesn't mean you should actually fuck them up. "Shit, there's probably a reason to push an old man down the stairs. JUST DON'T DO IT."

I get sick and tired of seeing people suing restaurants and whatnot all the time over truly frivolous claims, but I might be able to cut this woman some slack. I don't know about "severe emotional distress," but I'd certainly be worried about the possibility of having an unwilling indirect kiss with someone's genitals as well as the possibility of disease. Of course, this is coming from me, who comes from a long line of hypochondriacs who worry about EVERYTHING. For instance, my grandmother raised the possibility of leukemia one time when I had developed a slight cough. I'm not kidding.

And, god damn it, now I'm hungry for clam chowder. Clam chowder, or man chowder? Hey-oooo!

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