Then there's this mess. Some random points:

• If we do send in troops, why not forgo the marines and just send in Rockstar Games instead? We all know how much those people hate Haitians.


• I'm not sure if you can take seriously any rebellion led by a guy named Guy. Undoubtedly pronounced like the "gee" in "geese."


• You've gotta love that go-getter Kofi Annan. Shit's on fire; he appoints himself a special advisor.