Friday, March 19, 2004

This is yet another naughty post, so don't click on any of the links unless you want your co-workers/spouse/kids/whoever to see you shopping for sex toys.

I made the mistake of mentioning the Fleshlight one time. No, I don't actually have one, although I probably should bust one of these out since I'm, you know, lonely. Anyway, I saw a banner ad for one of these once and made mention of in a post, and now I get Google hits for people looking to buy a Fleshlight on eBay, looking for a product review, etc. I decided to hit the homepage of the maker of this product tonight, and found a couple of things to share.

First there's sex in a can. I just love the description of this one: Great for men with less penis girth, and perfect for keeping in the office. Less penis girth? Less. Check this shit out. I don't have a small penis, I have less penis girth. It almost doesn't sound as bad, dunnit? So anyway, less penis girth. Check. Keeping in the office? Okay, let's pretend for a second that work isn't now actually keeping me far too busy to give me time to shoot my load into a can while I'm at my desk. I'm still not going to be getting off at work. I may have self-control issues, but I have enough to be able to wait a few hours until I get home. Furthermore, I'm not keeping something in my office that I've ejaculated into; that's disgusting.

Now that you've had to deal with that awful imagery, I offer up this disturbing product: the mouth Fleshlight. That thing is seriously fucking creepy. I guess now I know what I'll be having nightmares about tonight.

Okay, that's all. Don't ask why I felt the need to share and discuss this evening's find. Just your lucky day, I guess.

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