Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Top Vomit

Over on Assdot, the current poll is Favorite Top Ramen flavor. I found this comment to the poll rather amusing:

Top Ramen (or Smack Ramen in some markets) are square blocks of fried and dried noodles. Campbells also has a competing product. They come wrapped in plastic with a foil packet of seasoning that consists mainly of salt. They sell for 4 to 6 for $1 here in the states. You boil 2 cups of water, add the noodles, add the sauce, and whatever leftovers you have, if any. They were 10 for $1 back in my broke days (80s).

Everyone who has been poor, or is poor, knows these noodles. This would include college students. They are the cheapest way to put some calories in your stomache available in the US. They taste ok.

Some people like to boil them whole, making long noodles, but I prefer to crush them in the package, and use only 1 cup of water, making the juices much stronger. For extra flavor, you can add a hot dog or some bologna. (keep in mind, this is po' folk food). Left over bacon or ham does nicely as well, unless staying kosher is a consideration. Diced green onion is also nice, if you have them.

Top Ramen is a "right of passage". You know you are not poor anymore when you look into the cabinets, and you see food, but none of it is Top Ramen.

Top Ramen. Ugh. That was a good part of my diet sophomore year of college. That and sandwiches, because I could not stand the fucking cafeteria. I can still eat sandwiches, but I don't think I'll be able to eat Top Ramen ever again. My roommate and I ate our fair share of the stuff, dining almost exclusively (or maybe entirely) on the "chicken" flavor. He had these big plastic cups that we'd microwave the water and noodles in, to which we'd add the seasoning before eating straight from the cup. That worked out pretty conveniently, but I remember my rommate telling me after we had moved out that no matter how much he washed them in the dishwasher, that chicken-flavor smell would never go away. That's fucking gross.

Nowadays, I'm not poor like I was in college. As BOETP can attest to, though, my food stocks are still pretty sparse. In my fridge right now, I've got imitation crab, Gatorade, pickled ginger, water, ketchup, Smart balance, and... That's pretty much it. But if I wanted some food in there, goddammit, I could get some. And there's no bloody Top Ramen - anywhere.

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