Saturday, August 21, 2004

Yahoo search:

how to fuck hookers on the point

Maybe it's just because I'm so pure and innocent (or just dumb), but I don't understand what the hell that means.

Friday, August 20, 2004

The PussyStick Chronicles: Day 2

Yes, day two. Not day one, since fucking AudBlog decided to wait about a day before getting that post up. I'm just waiting until I have some kind of emergency and AudBlog is the only number I can dial. I'll be fucked, and it'll be all their fault.

The temporary rig is an Audi A4 2.8, equipped with the already mentioned PussyStick. It's a couple of years old, but decently nice. My guess is that the turbocharged version with a real manual transmission would be kinda fun. Either way, we'll do what we can to abuse the PussyStick.

The shittiest thing about it, other than being a complete fraud of a transmission, is that you don't actually have total control. Even when you're in PussyStick mode, the car still automatically controls when shifting out of first takes place. So I can't get full power out of that gear because you can be sure that the automatic control won't let you hit the red-line (which is kinda low anyway).

Still, as I mentioned, it is sadly still nicer than my trusty Civic, PussyStick and all. But once I can get myself something new, it's real manual all the way.
The Times has a fairly in-depth article on this Swift Boat Veterans for Truth bullshit. I really wish that the left would be quicker to respond to this kind of stuff, but better late than never. And, furthermore, it's more than I typically expect. They'd just better keep on their toes, because I'd be willing to bet that Team Bush and their fronts, ERRR, supporters will have some kind of supposed bombshell right before the election if things are still close.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

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Well, John Kerry finally decided to respond to the attacks on his Vietnam service... By using the tired rhetoric of "bring it on." Accusing Bush of letting people like Swiftboat Veterans for Truth do his "dirty work," though, was a decent touch. I'll give him points on that one.

"We have called on Senator Kerry to join us in calling for an end to all the unregulated soft money activity that is going on in this campaign."

Stop. Just save it, Scott. Yeah, both sides (the left and the right -- not just Team Bush and Camp Kerry) are capable of being vicious, but no one plays as dirty as TB. Partly because they're the only ones with the balls to fight like that, but also just because they're the only ones who are just plain big enough assholes to do that. I know I use the example time and time again, but all you really have to say is John McCain, South Carolina. For a list of some other examples, you can look here.

Disinfopedia itself is just an interesting site, and I need to peruse it more often.
Some random shit from one commercial break:
  • I think that it's pretty slick marketing strategy to have attractive women doing ads for hand lotion.
  • "Racewalking" is a fucking Olympic sport now? You've got to be fucking kidding me.
  • David Spade must be fucking broke.

Right before never buying anything they make

Am I the only one who sees food products made by these people that can't help but chuckle with dirty thoughts?
Here's another reason why I hate religion: pettiness. Such stupid, meaningless bullshit that has nothing to do with anything. You can't eat certain things. You have to face a certain direction when you pray. Your Christ Cracker must be of inflexible composition. What a fantastic, marvelous thing this religion thing is. This kind of moronic nonsense is what's dictated lives and shaped history.

Hopefully this experience will put little Haley on the path to realizing that Catholicism is a big waste of time. Either way, this is a good first step towards her becoming YABC - yet another bitter Catholic.

There are few people you find who are as scarred as those who grew up Catholic. With all the discontent that arises from being Catholic, you'd think more people would run screaming from that bullshit. But so many stick with it nonetheless -- true testament of the power of religion

"Yeah, you know what? I'm tired of all this feeling bad and all the goofy pageantry and rules. I'm going to go someplace else."

"Sure, okay. Oh, have fun in hell."


Alright, I do know that once you come of age, you can turn your back on the church and walk away. But even if there isn't someone there in some stupid robes saying the above, it's implied.

Quite possibly the worst thing that Catholicism has given us is the Catholic wedding. I only went to one of these motherfuckers, and I damn near crucified myself. Here's what happens every three seconds:

"Let us pray."

NO! Let us get the fuck out of here before Jesus actually shows up and shuts this shit down.

The best Adventure in Catholicism involves a friend of mine who grew up Catholic. Her church gave her a scholarship when she was ready to go off to college, which she of course readily accepted. Shortly thereafter she turned 18, at which time she renounced Catholicism.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Bullshitting continues on the notion of creating a new intelligence czar. And that's all it is: bullshit. But it's getting lots of attention. Why? Well, my feeling is that it's all a smokescreen. Creating a new intelligence post seems like it'd be something fairly simple. We'll just add some new level of bureaucracy that won't do a fucking thing, kinda like when America woke up one morning and we had Tom Ridge.

Bush has agreed to the idea "in principle." Which means that Bush is working hard on the issue as usual because he's smart and he gives a shit. Congress is holding hearings and shit, which allows them to avoid doing real work on something hard like, say, reforming congressional oversight of intelligence.

I do agree with Rumsfeld, at least on principle. We of course don't want to do this in a manner that causes us to fuck it all up. Of course, Rummy is just engaging in one of the biggest things threatening us today: bullshit turf wars. All these cocksuckers care more about Number One than doing anything to make this country safer.

This, of course, is not a startling revelation. That's politics and, more generally, human nature. But can we stop being stupid and believing them when they say that they're working hard to protect us because they care?

The implied Office Space quote is left as an exercise to the reader

RNC protestors are being encouraged to put on a piece of flair.
"All told, it's been a rough month for the hotel heiress."

Whoever wrote that line needs to be gunned down. Right after we gun down Paris Hilton herself. Which, of course, will take place sometime after we do something horrible to that ugly little shit dog of hers right in front of her eyes.

Yeah, it would suck to get robbed and have your piece of shit that you call a pet disappear for six seconds. It would furthermore suck to have gobs and gobs of money, never having to worry about a fucking thing or furthermore do a fucking thing other than shop, drink, party, and fuck. Oh wait, no it wouldn't.

Bill Maher put it best. "New rule: you can't be famous for nothing." Paris Hilton is a rich cunt. We have a few of those in this country. Big fucking deal. But on top of it she's ugly. Why does anyone care about Paris Hilton? Oh, that's right, because this country is FUCKING RETARDED.

Finally, if I thought that she would actually get it, I would send Paris one of these.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Blogger is replacing banner ads at the top of 'blogs with a new tool bar for searching the 'blog you're reading. And it's... Completely fucking useless. Search my site for "fuck" and it returns all of 45 results. Yeah, as it turns out, my language is much cleaner than I thought it was. Fucking cunts.

What else is going on that I don't give a fuck about? The Olympics. Holy hell, I have never given less of a shit about the Olympics than I do this year. Not that I'm ever all that big on the Olympic games, but still. Normally there's some interest, but not this year. All I wanna know is when figure skating is on.

Maybe I'll garner some interest if I catch some women's gymnastics, just because I (and I'm sure I'm not alone) have a bit of a thing for gymnasts. And no, not because they look like children, but, well, okay, because they look like children. I'm a big proponent of trading going through puberty for mad athletic skills.

Okay, it's already too late to get myself out of trouble, but fuck it. Yes, it is neat that so many gymnasts are so tiny even when they're older and perfectly legal. You know what I could do with a girl who's really short? I could be taller than her, that's what, and that never fucking happens. At least not once they get past the age of, oh, nine. Although my pedophile jokes may seem to imply otherwise, it would be nice to find someone a little closer to my age. Anyway, I have no inborn need to be taller (being down at buffet level has its advantages, if only I could ever put them to use), but it seems to be a bullshit requirement. I'm only trying to be practical here.

Another thing about gymnasts is, of course, the flexibility. Same thing with dancers. You know what I could do with that flexibility? Hell if I know, but it'd probably be neat.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Yup, slow weekend. This is all I've got. Yahoo search:

cutting edge porn

I don't know why, but I just like the sound of that. Once our plans to start our own porn production house make it out of the 93% bucket, I think this is what we should call our company (just so long as we make it clear that "cutting" shouldn't be taken literally).