Thursday, February 03, 2005

In mourning

So the time has come. We must bid a fond farewell to a television show that was truly revolutionary. A show that broke so many molds, brought so many new ideas and storylines to our television sets. A show that entertained and inspired millions upon millions of adoring fans. I am, of course, talking about the demise of Star Trek: Enterprise. May her interesting and enthralling characters whose lives and development I cared so deeply about rest in peace. May the fabulous writers, who dare I say lived outside of the box and the confines that everyone expected them to live in, find new and challenging projects where their myriad talents can be exploited. And my best wishes to Rick Berman, who is pretty much the best person ever.

Alright, enough of that. I'm making myself sick.

In terms of irrelevant pop culture stuff, hearing this a couple of days ago was about the best news that could have come my way. I quote the Indian chief in Hot Shots when Charlie Sheen finally brings home the batteries he needs for his Walkman: It's about fucking time.

For as lame as Enterprise is, this should have happened a long time ago. Supposedly, things got a lot better this season, but plenty of people weren't around to see any of the supposed improvements. The thing is, I really didn't care how decent the show got, seeing as how I just could not get with the show from the beginning. The very foundations of the show were flawed. It was just such a bad idea for an already tired franchise, but Berman had to do it because he liked it. Fucking dipshit. The same goes for everyone else around him.

There have been rumors going around that Riker and Troi are going to show up on the last episode. Someone on Slashdot made a crackback that Q was going to show up, taking Riker into the past, present, and future to make sure that Enterprise never happened. Oh, if that were true. I would love nothing more than for Enterprise to be erased from the books in one fashion or other.

Of course, there are still die-hards (read: retards) who are still fighting to save the show. And it's like, you people are right up there with Rick Berman. Yes, he and his staff have put out nothing but shit on TV for the past several years, merely slapping "Star Trek" on it and shoving it off, but you people have allowed the low-quality to continue through your continual, unending, unquestioning support. It really is a religious thing for these people; it has "Star Trek" attached to it, so it's gospel and it must be true and we must watch it simply because it's Trek.

Okay, granted, I pretty much follow the cast of The Next Generation wherever they lead me, but they've at least got enough goodwill in the bank that they could fuck up a lot of things before I'd be like, hey, that's enough. But they were nowhere near that point, not for me at least. Maybe I'm just blind or in denial or living in some nostalgic fantasyland, but I wish we could see more Next Gen stuff, even especially if it's a ways down the line. Not too likely based on how the last movie did, but you never know. Still, Nemesis definitely deserved a better reception; Enterprise got what it deserved.

I love all of the bullshit coming out of everyone in the wake of the cancellation. "... Enterprise has carried on the tradition of its predecessors with great distinction,"
"The creators, stars and crew of Star Trek: Enterprise ambitiously and proudly upheld the fine traditions of the Star Trek franchise." Huh? This is the first Trek series to get cancelled in 35 years. I don't know if you want to be using phrases like "great distinction" or "proudly upheld." And before anyone thinks they're clever, getting cancelled like the original series is not some kind of positive omen for Enterprise.

Then there are the fans. I like the argument that it's all Paramount and UPN's fault for not promoting the show, as opposed to putting out crap. Honestly, a Star Trek show shouldn't need much promotion other than saying "Hey, guys, there's a show on TV, and it's called Star Trek. Watch it since your life sucks because you're a loser so you'd do it anyway." Of course, there was a oh-so-clever decision to not call Enterprise "Star Trek" in the beginning, only adding "Star Trek" to the name after a few seasons of shitty ratings. Because, yeah, that was the problem. No one knew all on their own that it was a Star Trek show, and that's what kept them from watching.

Like many fans, I've been saying for awhile that they need to give the franchise a rest, and bring it back after awhile so that people have some hunger for it. Wait awhile so that it's something new and interesting once more (if that's even possible). The thing is, though, I kinda do have a hunger for Trek at this point -- for Trek that's good. Shit, I'd almost (almost) be willing to accept something that's at least familiar but not a complete step backwards right now. Enterprise was so lame and so against established Trek-universe fact just by its very existence that I actually thought about buying some of the DVDs and watching episodes of Voyager that I never saw because that show was a piece of shit, too. Now, I'm not going to do that, but the very fact that they pushed me to thinking that pisses me off to no end.

As an aside, there's part of me that would like to have Voyager erased from the "history" books as well, but that show has one saving grace, and no, it's not Jeri Ryan's tits. No, I'm talking about the Doctor, who's pretty much my favorite character in the Star Trek universe. Everyone else on that show can pretty much burn, unless if you bring back the really bitchy Seven of Nine that we had when she first showed up (breasts are nice, but it's no fun without the bad attitude as far as I'm concerned).

So yeah, that's it. A very sad day when I'm cheering the end of a Star Trek show, and extra sad seeing as how that is now the rule as opposed to the exception. About the only positive thing is that Rick Berman may finally be waking up to some things. I'm not holding my breath, especially if it's taken all this nonsense to realize that shit be worn out, but I guess it's something.

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