Thursday, July 14, 2005

Hello, my name is: Fermat's Last Theorem

I haven't posted anything in a few days, so I'm going to make up for it by making fun of some readers. I got an e-mail several days ago from someone who had the lyrics to a song they figured I would like. The song is "Surfacing" by Slipknot. Here are the lyrics to said song:

FUCK YOU ALL!

Running out of ways to run
I can't see, I can't be
Over and over and under my skin
All this attention is DOING ME IN!

FUCK IT ALL! FUCK THIS WORLD!
FUCK EVERYTHING THAT YOU STAND FOR!
DON'T BELONG! DON'T EXIST!
DON'T GIVE A SHIT!
DON'T EVER JUDGE ME!

Picking through the parts exposed
Taking shape, taking shag
Over and over and under my skin
All this MOMENTUM is DOING ME IN!

FUCK IT ALL! FUCK THIS WORLD!
FUCK EVERYTHING THAT YOU STAND FOR!
DON'T BELONG! DON'T EXIST!
DON'T GIVE A SHIT!
DON'T EVER JUDGE ME!
and dont you fuckin judge me

You got all my love, livin' in your own hate
Drippin' hole man, hard step, no fate
Show you nuthin', but I ain't holdin' back
Every damn word I say is a sneak attack
When I get my hands on you
Ain't a fucking thing you can do
Get this cuz you're never gonna get me
I am the very disease you pretend to be

I am the push that makes you move (x4)

FUCK IT ALL! FUCK THIS WORLD!
FUCK EVERYTHING THAT YOU STAND FOR!
DON'T BELONG! DON'T EXIST!
DON'T GIVE A SHIT!
DON'T EVER JUDGE ME!


First thing we need to get out of the way: Slipknot sucks. I mean, horribly. I didn't even know they were still around, and my life was better when I thought that. Now, the guy who e-mailed me the lyrics to the song was just trying to be nice. I'll acknowledge that. But he still needs to be called out. Him and anyone else who thinks that just throwing around the word "fuck" and a bunch of random anger is the key to "getting" me. Well, it isn't.

You see, I don't just use the word "fuck" -- and other words and phrases like "cunt," "shit," "bullshit," "cocksucker," "ass," "asscock," "asshole," "assface," "dipshit," "bitch," "motherfucker," "soulless cocksucker," "pussy," "poontang," and "crapweasel," to name a couple -- just because I think it's all cute and clever. No, words like "fuck" are a tool to me, and I use them in my craft of writing.

The same goes for anger. I don't get pissed just for the sake of getting pissed. The anger doesn't come from nowhere, and I don't just throw it about willy-nilly. My anger has a purpose. It has meaning and direction. Much like my foul language, my anger is a tool.

Okay, if those last two paragraphs weren't the biggest load of shit, then I don't know what is. Try as I might (and I'm not), I can't convince myself of that. But shitty musical acts like Slipknot? They think that there's a higher purpose to their swearing and teenage angsty bullshit. Clearly, I just like saying bad words. Sure, I like that it pisses some people off, but the main attraction there is that cussing is fun. Always has been, always will be. When it comes to anger, yeah, I'm an angry guy. I have a bad temper. I pretty much idle at "pissed." But for some reason, that paradoxically makes me happy. All the anger, since it's mostly not taken too seriously, is just entertainment. In fact, if I ever found myself truly happy, I think I'd fucking kill myself.

I guess I can see how people would get the wrong idea. Just like I can see how I get the majority of my hits from Google pedos. But a the wrong idea is still a wrong idea. There is more to me than just swearing and getting mad. Not much more, I'll admit, but there is more. Oh, and you definitely need to stop thinking you're so fucking clever, like "matt aka the guy" in entry #73 of the guestbook. If you actually think that I hate myself and am going to kill myself (barring that whole truly happy thing, of course), you are A) stupid and B) setting yourself up for disappointment. Oh, and if you think that you and I are alike, well, you're probably once again wrong.

So yeah, if you're just here because you think it's really funny to see "fuck" in print a lot or you enjoy raging against machines, then you're probably not as in tune with me as you think you are. Don't worry, though, some of you guys can float, it's just that for the most part, the genre sucks. I'll put it another way: if you're not taking things too seriously, you might be able to comprehend the full spectrum of wanton cruelty and sadistic glee that is what I call, "The Bitter Little Man Experience."

As per usual, I can't resist ripping off a joke from somewhere else. While I'm driving away the few legitimate readers I've got (even though this really isn't geared towards them, unless if they're someone like "matt aka the guy," that guy who e-mailed me Slipknot, or g-raf), I have another question. What is it with you fuckheads who link to me, but you will actually censor the word "fuck" in your link? It's okay to lead people to a page that's plastered with swear words, one that you apparently visit yourself, but you can't bring yourself to put the word fuck on your own page? Oh, what, you're too good for that? As a side note, this doesn't quite apply to anyone who links me as "Bitter Little Man" -- I'd say it's acceptable to link me by the name I'm known as, as opposed to the title of my page (okay, it's still kind of a cop-out, but nowhere near as egregious to me). But if you're going to link by the blog's name, quit being such a little candy ass, will 'ya?

So in conclusion: no one gets me. Boo-hoo.

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