Tuesday, July 19, 2005

No it isn't. Dorks are, by definition, dorks, which is not cool. Anyone convinced of this stupid bullshit is just lying to themselves like liberals/progressives and Trekkies/Trekkers. And for anyone who thinks they're clever by taking something and trying to turn it on its head by declaring it the opposite of what it is: STOP THAT.

Hey, I'm about as big of a dork as they come. I went out shopping for a house last year with one of my goals being to get a room specifically for The Girls who, for the uninitiated, are a collection of female anime figures. I see no problem with being a dork, but of course I would -- I'm a dork. There's no real shame in it, just the shame that others try and force on you. But just accept it -- don't bullshit yourself about it.

"We used to not be able to stand the fact that we were in orchestra..."

So if you don't like it, get out of it. And if you do like it, fuck what everyone else says. I know, easier said than done. It's not easy dealing with the pressure of stupid fuck-offs. But you do what you gotta do.

"The O.C.," a TV show popular with teens, has Seth, a comic-book loving nerd played by actor Adam Brody. Bands such as Weezer also feed off the dork image, complete with horn-rimmed glasses and a song about being OK with not fitting the Beverly Hills mold. "Napoleon Dynamite" has a fan club; its Web site claims 150,000 members.

Oh boy. One character on a shitty show (which I've never seen), one decent band (at least at one point), and one shitty movie (which I've also never seen), and suddenly, the tide is turning! Woo hoo! Or it's all just meaningless pop culture bullshit that's been fed to us.

"Now all the people from high school are asking me if I have a job for them. So I guess it wasn't so bad to be a dork."

Well, the dork part is never good in and of itself just for the shit you get because of it, but the fact that a lot of dorks grow up to make good lives for themselves while all those assholes who made fun of them serve them their food.

"It's like (the movie) 'American Pie' with the band geek girl."

Yeah, no. Geek girls are not Alyson Hannigan. And yes, I know that I'm being the shallow asshole now, but you pretty much don't want to go near most geek girls. Just like you don't want to go anywhere near a lot of geek guys. And should a girl with legitimate credentials show up, well...

But Uyen Mai says she knows how to spot a true geek, dork or nerd -- and she likes what she sees.


To prove her point, Mai has an "I (Heart) Dorks" tank top, which she wears often.

Wait for it...

"My husband ..."

And there you have it. Trust me, I've seen waaaay too fucking much of this. Any girl -- attractive or not -- who shows up will get mobbed by all the desperate guys who have low expectations and lowered standards. And if she is attractive, forget about it.

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