Thursday, August 11, 2005


Google search:

sonic lolicon

Whoa, this is like, the best idea ever. Going to Sonic to feed both the need for tasty burgers and my Lolita complex? What's not to like about that? Yeah, yeah, the drive to cut back on these types of jokes is still going poorly, but this time it's the fault of some Google fuck, not me.

I of course say this assuming that there are any decent Sonic burger joints left out there, because I think it's been almost two years since I've been to one. Back in the day, Sonic was the fucking best. I wouldn't get to go as often as some of the other fast food places because they weren't as wide-spread. Typically, Sonic would only show up in some total shit town, like Rocky Ford or Pueblo. Okay, Pueblo isn't that bad -- I should know since that's where I'm originally from -- it's just not that great. And while Rocky Ford has its cantaloupes, it's out in the middle of nowhere. But I digress, so back to Sonic.

Yeah, Sonics were few and far between when I was growing up, and they were never in the major cities. There was one in Pueblo, but it was closer to downtown (or what passes for our downtown)and I was a south-side kid. When ETP and I were at CU, we'd hit the one in Lafayette from time to time. That was when Sonic was starting to show up all over the place, though, and the quality of the food was in decline. At that point, it seemed as if the shit towns would have the good Sonics, and the bigger towns would have the lousy ones. I don't know what the situation is like today.

I knew it was pretty much all over (or at least that it would be sometime soon) when I first saw a Sonic with a drive-thru. Up until a few years ago, they were strictly car-hop, with the exception of a couple of tables if you wanted to sit outside. Shit, even A&W abandoned car hops way back in the 80s (or at least the ones I knew of), but Sonic was hard core... For awhile longer. Those drive-thrus are pure blasphemy. That doesn't mean I haven't used them, but that doesn't mean that I'm happy with myself, either. It's like beating off thinking about your sister. It's not really hurting anyone, right? And no one has to know about it, at least not until you blabber it to the world on your 'blog. Actually, I don't even have a sister, so I'm good to go on that front. I do have a stepsister, though, who is incredibly hot, or at least she was until she came out of the closet and started making herself look like a boy. For those of you with a real, blood related sister, however: you're welcome.

Alright, so when I started this post, I knew it wasn't going to be good because of the lolicon thing, but I didn't know it would get into reminiscing and that. So we'll get back to something a bit more normal. Another thing that used to be great about Sonic? Other than your horrible, horrible shame, of course, which I find hilarious. They hired, hands down, some of the hottest girls to work as car hops. Now, they weren't all attractive, but when they found a hottie they found a motherfuc goddamn hottie. The same goes for Outback Steakhouse -- I have seen some bloody cute hostesses working at a couple of their restaurants. Again, they're not all hot, but when they do it they do it right. No rules, in fact. Just right.

There's a hot one working at the Outback near me, in fact, but there's no way in hell I'm hitting on her. Let's just say that my track record with trying to pick up the hostess at Outback is not stellar. Part of me really wants to want to, though. I mean, think about that: a hot girlfriend, and being able to get cut a deal on good steak? It doesn't get much better than that, my friends (aside from bugers and lolis, of course). But I have no skills, so that too will remain a fantasy.

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