Wednesday, October 05, 2005

New York is stupid

Okay, so if you've been around here long enough, you know that I once declared flash mobs to pretty much be the dumbest fucking thing ever and the end of all civilization. Well, as it turns out, I was wrong, because we have a new indication that this must be the end. I present to you, dear readers, the cuddle party.

Insert sighing sounds, rolling eyes, and head in hands. This is... There almost aren't words to describe how bloody retarded this is. The whole notion is that it's flying in the face of modern society, blasting out against our inborn puritanism, but what it is, in the end, is a bunch of people who won't admit that they just want to have sex.

Because that's what this is about, plain and simple. Repressed morons. Fucking losers. It's people who have bought into society's bullshit, and in the name of saying they're not afraid they do something that shows how afraid they are. And the fact that they bring it all back to when we were kids... Jesus, this is fucked up.

If you've been to a cuddle party, you need to kill yourself. If you're thinking of going to a cuddle party, think of killing yourself. Then kill yourself. With all the shit going on out there, if this is how you choose to waste your time, I promise you, we don't need you.

I know what some of you are saying. "Oh, BLM, you're just being a dick because you're like that and you hate cuddling and blah blah blah." Please, cut the fucking shit. I am all for cuddling, but not if it's retarded. Cuddle parties are retarded, and they are attended and "facilitated" by retards.

So, what does this have to do with New York being stupid? I made the mistake of watching an episode of CSI: NY. We all know how much I fucking hate the original CSI. The Miami spin off is kinda funny since David Caruso sucks, but I still won't watch it. I allow the New York version to exist just because I'm down with Gary Sinise, who is not related to "That Arliss Show!" It too sucks since, if for no other reason, it's CSU, not CSI. Yes, this is review. All you need to do is watch one of the boring-ass lab scenes with the really intense music to know what bullshit the franchise is. "Wow, the cotton swab turned pink! I just came!" I've never worked in a medical lab, but I've worked in labs doing science shit, and tust me: it's fun for the people doing the work, and for no one else alive. Anyway, tonight's episode had a scene with a cuddle party. At the beginning of the scene, I thought it was an orgy, and I was like "New York is cool." Then when I found out that it wasn't an orgy but in fact a dumbfuck party, I was like, title of post.

Linked off that cuddle party site is this abomination. Footie pajamas suck. I hated them as a kid, and I always insisted that my mom or grandma cut the damn feet off before I would wear them. "Gee, you sound like you were a fun kid." You're a riot? Fuck you -- I was a fucking riot. Anyway, adults have no business wearing footie pajamas. Grow the fuck up, and keep in mind this is coming from a guy who still buys toys and as yet is completely right.