Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Yay for more fucked up Google hits


Picturesque young girls bang tough

That got me thinking: is there a porno out there called Bangin' Tough? If so, it's gotta star the New Kids on the Cock. And, wait, that doesn't sound good.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Well, now we have dolphins and camels down

So the American Society of Magazine Editors put together a list of what they felt were the 40 greatest magazine covers from the last 40 years. Some of them are interesting, and this is one of the greatest things ever put to print. From The Economist, no less.

"9 out of 10 men who try camels still prefer women."
- T-shirt

ETP can add a grammar discussion to the list of bullshit that needs to go down at my funeral should I die before him

When I first saw the link for this article, which simply read "Former 'SNL' comedian commits suicide," the first thing that popped into my mind was "Please let it be Jim Breuer." And since the world blows, it wasn't Jim Breuer, but someone I've never even heard of, or heard of and forgot about.

...according to the Internet Movie Database

Like I said. You know you're pretty famous when the article writer doesn't know who the fuck you are, and just trusts what IMDB has to say about you.

On a more serious note, seriously, who the fuck commits suicide by slashing their own throat? And, as the article stands right now (where it says "Ex-'SNL' player Charles Rocket a suicide"), is it proper grammer to refer to someone as "a suicide"? That doesn't sound right. I guess it sort of sounds right to say that someone was "a homicide," but it still seems off. Because, you know, these are the questions to be asked when someone has died.
Google search:

engineer fucks chick

Yeah, that should turn up a ton of solid results.
Here's the deal: if a bunch of stupid kids and their even stupider parents want to drop thousands -- or tens of thousands -- of dollars on fucking prom, let them. Now, I'm not defending excess, but being me, I am not condemning it, either. But to take a stand against it with a bunch of rich fucks? Yeah, that oughta do a lot.

... Laine said just before hopping into his jet-black Infiniti...

Like I said. And besides, what people do with their money is really up to them, even if it makes them fucking pricks for doing it.

Okay, thinking more about it, I'm a bit torn. I were in charge, I'd probably end up sending all these people to concentration camps. The fact that I'm bringing up Nazi-esque tactics shows why I'll never be in charge, of course, but that's beside the point for this discussion. Like I said, I can't do too much bitching about people blowing money on unnecessary shit, but c'mon. Anyone who takes prom too seriously is a fucking retard. So yeah, it's not the excess that bothers me, it's the stupid. And someone should take a stand, but it's really not the school's place to do so.

Maybe it's just because I do everything wrong, but I never saw the big deal with prom. I went to my senior one just so that I could say I went. I didn't have a girlfriend (shocking), and I didn't get laid (ibid) or go to any raging keggers, so maybe that's why it seems meaningless to me. But even if I had gone all-out, looking back, I don't see how it could have been as monumentally important as some people make it out to be. It's one of those things that's billed to be really huge but in reality isn't. Are there any adults out there who look back on prom as a watershed moment in their life? If so, you too can hop on board the train to Auschwitz.