Thursday, February 23, 2006

Since figure skating is the topic du jour of the week (yes, I know what du jour means), the related moronic searches roll forward. Another sampling of nonsense that brought people here via Google and Yahoo:

Sasha Cohen Fakes

I get this one a fair amount, and I just cannot understand it. Well, I mean, I can, but I don't want to. I'm guessing these people are looking for fake nude pictures of Sasha. But why? What value is there in seeing someone naked, only not? I know guys are fucking dumb, but aside from religion, this really takes it in the self-deception department. What good can come of faked images of someone you want to see naked but never will? Anyone remember when I gave the world Yuna naked? We all know how well that turned out.

girl is getting her pussy fucked while skating on the ice

Much like Carlin's idea for Rollerfucking, this idea should be made into a sport. It'd be a hell of a lot better than that ridiculous ice dancing shit, which is, again, pairs without all the hard stuff. Fucking on ice would be made even more entertaining when there was some kind of a fall and they guy gets his dick chopped off with the blade of a skate. Would that be a mandatory deduction under the new scoring system? I actually think it should get extra points for degree of difficulty.

who's prettier, sasha cohen or michelle kwan?

Okay, we all know where I come out on this one. Michelle Kwan is pumpable, but she's not Sasha, and neither is anyone else. But I really can't fathom why you're trying to have Google answer a question that's totally subjective. I mean, well, it's not subjective, but that's because I have the best taste in everything (even when making jokes in poor taste) and as such know the truth.

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