Saturday, April 01, 2006

Dog shit taco

Okay, so I read this a couple of days ago, and naturally, it fucking pissed me off. I will never, ever understand why swearing is a big deal. My website is quite possibly one of the most profanity-laden pieces of shit out there, and not a single person has been harmed by it. Well, not that I know of. But there are people who have literally been visiting this shit heap for years, and they seem to be just fine.

And me? Well, I could be doing better on many fronts, I suppose, but things would be no better or no different if I no longer used profanity as a matter of course.

But even though we can't print them, we can certainly ask: Are we living in an Age of Profanity?

Dumbest and most useless question, ever.

Nearly three-quarters of Americans questioned last week -- 74 percent -- said they encounter profanity in public frequently or occasionally, according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll. Two-thirds said they think people swear more than they did 20 years ago. And as for, well, the gold standard of foul words, a healthy 64 percent said they use the F-word -- ranging from several times a day (8 percent) to a few times a year (15 percent).

So fucking what? Statistics are almost all useless bullshit, but these have even less relevance than 99% of the rest of the pack.

He's not really offended by bad language -- heck, he uses it himself every day. But sometimes, a customer will unleash the F-word so many times, Cormack just has to jump in.

"Heck"? Give me a break. And stopping people from using "fuck" if they're using it excessively? Dude, you work in a fucking bar. Look, I've said it before -- you are not gonna come across as being very articulate if you talk that way. But if you don't give a shit about that, fuck it.

Actually, you know what? Fuck all that shit, Silent Bob. I may be lax quite often, but even still I have a pretty good grasp of the English language, and I can turn it on when I want to, which I do pretty regularly. You can have the best of both worlds if you play your cards right.

Or on the Senate floor, for that matter, where Vice President Dick Cheney used the F-word in a heated argument two years ago.

Yeah, remember what a big deal that was? Cheney orchestrates wars that kill thousands, but yeah, we should be concerned about Cheney saying "fuck."

"Do I have to be insulted right there in my own home?" she asks. "I'm not going to pay $54 a month for cable and listen to that garbage."

So either don't pay or don't listen YOU DUMB OLD FUCKING CUNT! God fucking damn it, re-reading this just now got me so pissed off that I nearly bit the inside of my own mouth. And no, bitch, you don't have to be insulted in your own home, but you definitely should be insulted there and anywhere else you drag that rotten carcass of yours.

"I tell them, 'I have a dictionary and a Roget's Thesaurus, and I don't see any of those words in there!'"

While we're at it, you can shove that dictionary and thesaurus up your ass sideways, lady.

And his wife? "She never swears."

Divorce the stupid bitch. Seriously, I could probably bend on a lot of things, but a wife who doesn't swear? Nuh-uh, that isn't happening.

They don't like it when people swear for no good reason.

Many of those who swear think it's wrong nonetheless.

Two more asinine statements. Wrong? I never, ever understood using swear words as a moral issue. How is it wrong? Where is the harm? Bringing harm unto others for no good reason is wrong. Killing people who believe things like the above is right.

What the world, or at least this uptight country, really needs more of with this bad language shit is me. I'm not kidding; this country needs my help to lighten the fuck up. I've noticed that at places where I spend a lot of time, I eventually lower the bar for language. Like my job back at school, or my current job. When I started both jobs, the language people used was pretty sterile. But as I got more comfortable with the people, I loosened up, and started talking more like I do here. Others seemed to follow suit, and it is good.

Look, there's a time and place for everything. Like I said, you don't do well for your image if all you do is swear. Shit, look at my image here. But the issue with this 'blog was that I started it in the frame of mind of talking like I'm talking to someone like ETP. In most situations, I'm smart enough to know what's appropriate and what's not. I don't let it fly when go into job interviews or make business phonecalls. But when I'm around people who can handle it or I'm at least comfortable with, shit's on. As I pointed out above, your language can be flexible if you do it properly.

But what about the children?! Man, fuck the children. No, I don't mean like that. Not in this post, at least. The only harm that comes from so-called bad language is because of the stigma we attach to it. Period. And as far as teaching them proper use of language, I'd basically teach them that there's nothing wrong with swearing, but they need to understand that there are gonna be people who will not be comfortable with it (as Carlin basically did with his kids, in case you've already heard this strategy).

As I believe I've said before, the only good thing about swearing being "bad" is that it makes it all the more fun to do it. Maybe we are more desensitized to it (although not really if I'm reading shit like this), but swearing would not have the impact that it does if most everyone was comfortable with it. Hell, this 'blog wouldn't be a goddamn thing if that were the case. So maybe I should just stop my fucking complaining. Yeah, that's pretty bloody likely.


Anonymous said...

Abortion is part of the decay inflicted by the gods in the latter half of the 20th century as we approach the Apocalypse::::
- Free sex
- Explosion in gay sex
- Abortion
- Legalized greed/immorality
- The internet. Whereas TV was a phenominally destructive new temptation on the landscape it doesn't hold a candle to the internet. Some people will waste their whole lives.

So many people don't care about global warming. They don't care about the Federal deficit/debt (outside of partisanship) and they don't care earning $400k for an $80,000/year job will eventually bankrupt the country. They have awarded themselves $400k pay and retirement packages, loading up their friends on the payroll during the boom 90s through the real estate bust while all services which the program were intended to fund now get cut to pay for it.
These people are often common public university labor. Not Ivy League, not private university.
This labor isn't good enough to command the salaries they are earning. And they understood this when they applied to the public university they settled on.
You can't expect a top-tier salary with a second-rate education.
They think they are going sometime during/at the end of this life, and disregard the poor souls who are left behind.
These are the people who will be here in the United States when bankruptcy is declared and society deteriorates into chaos. And they will deserve the anarchy which ensues.

Continuing the push for privatization, reinforced and supported recently with enormous public sector salaries and retirement packages.
Once achieved the gods will utilize the corruptive predisposition of the private sector economy, as seen with the sub-prime/bailout fiasco, to initiate economic catastrophy and initiate the bankruptcy proceedings of the United States.
Whether the cure for cancer/diseases or the permanant resolution of economic misery, before the gods remove these motivations to pray we will experience an inordinate deluge of each element, with economic misery being perhaps the dissallusion of the united States with bankruptcy.

The gods used the Italians to ruin life in the 20th century.
The gods used the Italians to ruin life in A.D. with The Church.
The Church controlled Western Civilization. As the largest land owner in Europe they controlled the monarchies. They were responsbile for slavery, revenge for African invasion and rape of Italy. They created religious discontent, ultimately leading to the disfavored dumping ground known as the United States.
And each generation of these Italians were sold on "earning", only to be reincarnated as a lesser life form subsequently, punishment for their evil.
"The West Bank, where the end of the world will begin." With xtianity.

A good example of societal decay and how the gods manage their culpability is birth defects. In the past the gods occassionally punished people by divinely creating birth defects in the womb. Now, with the advent of biotechnology, they tempt the mother with "earning" and compell her to take a substance in utero which deforms the fetus, dispelling the gods of blame and future obligation to the victim. Incidentally, they use liberal policies to pay for these individuals, ensuring a lifetime wasted, for they have no hope for progress. Too often in the past they were mercifully killed immediately and brought back without this handicap, allowing them opportunity to resume their journey of ascention into heaven.
The gods are washing their hands of culpability. The gods are washing their hands of Planet Earth.

You don't want to get involved in the abortion battle. You're not "earning". The gods will use this tool to cast people into Damnation. Nothing will save them. Stop wasting your time on others and work on fixing your own problems. If you don't make enough progress to be granted good parents when reincarnated you will waste your next life too.

Bitter Little Man said...

Wait, what was that about people wasting their lives?