Wednesday, April 12, 2006

What?

I got several hits in a row where that was my immediate reaction, so I decided to get kind of a theme going and shoehorn what came after into that theme. I'm clever. It's working out pretty well for me. Either that, or, it gets old pretty quickly, but if I come up with an idea, god damn if I don't execute on it (within the allowed 7%, of course). But yeah, a lot of the hits I get make you question, well, everything.

chewbacca nudie pics

What? Isn't Chewbacca always naked? Or are you one of those kinky fucks who's into shaved Wookie?

m5 is a piece of shit

What? Is it an E39 or E60? Yeah, those are pieces of shit. I suppose I could go through the trouble and take it off your hands for you.

smb3 sucks the god damn fucking game is to fucking hard

What? How big of a dumbass pussy do you have to be to be to get this frustrated over Super Mario Brothers 3? That's, like, one of the best games ever. It's up there with Zelda and shit. But is it hard? The game isn't Super R-Type on novice easy, nor is it the recent Ninja Gaiden hard. It's just about right, I'd say. I know this has become my solution to nearly everything, but if you are having this much trouble with SMB3, just kill yourself.

oh how i hate you and everything you stand for because you are that everything the perfect metaphor

What?

different ways to fuck your wife

What? Since when do married couples have sex with each other? I suppose it could happen, though. And if so, how bad do you feel for this guy's wife? I guess in the end I don't feel too bad; it's your fault if you marry a stem like this. I'm sure that was a fun courtship. "Fuck me." "Wait, first I need to do some Google searches."

proper way to give a blowjob

What? I've never understood how, with minimal thought and effort, you can fuck up a blowjob. Do I need to make another list of 10? Sure, there are going to be different levels in terms of head quality, but I have never seen how it could be anything but good unless if teeth end up involved. For me, at least. I'm sure some guys dig that; if you read this week's Savage Love, you see that there are some guys who like getting their balls cut off. And you know what? If a guy wants his cock chewed or his nuts chopped off, indulge him. You're doing everyone else a favor.

cool shit to do in chicago

What? Kill yourself.

"pseudo-adult" definition

Ibid.

Oh, and to close out, one more question: why are we walking like this?

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