Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I want to find a way to get on board with this, but I just can't. The only things that should smell like Play-Doh are Play-Doh itself, the can that Play-Doh lives in, and your hands after you play with Play-Doh.

The company that is making the Play-Doh frarance, though, what a piece of work those assholes are. Here is a sampling of their fragrances, and I am not making any of these up:
  • Basil
  • Beet root
  • Bourbon (lots of men smell like this anyway)
  • Birthday cake
  • Black pepper
  • Cannabis flower
  • Cappuccino
  • Cedar (great for drawers and closets...)
  • Condensed milk (their page on this fragrance goes into almost disturbing detail on the history and process of making condensed milk)
  • Cosmopolitan cocktail (like women need more than a night out to smell like Cosmos)
  • Dirt (Dirt? Yes, dirt.)
  • Dust
  • Earthworm
  • Holy water (?)
  • Pipe tobacco
  • Riding crop
  • Sushi (Eating it, good; wearing it, especially after a night of Jack, bad)
  • Turpentine (WTF?)
  • Urine (okay, that one I made up -- but I did have to double-check their list to make sure)
And there are tons more, but I finally got sick of going through the list. You can just check for yourself. You know, some of those scents are pleasant, but I can't imagine why you'd want to smell like some of them. And as far as some of the fruity and flowery ones, isn't that what you girls have all those nice smelling lotions from Bath & Bodyworks for? And they don't even have raspberry, the fucking hacks!

Then there are the ones like turpentine that I can't even imagine what the fuck is wrong with you that would possess you to want to smell like that voluntarily. Well, I can imagine; you're an idiot. But are people actually buying and using this shit? I'd like to say that their sales can't be very brisk, but as we know, there are a lot of "creative and crazy" people out there who would -- and probably do -- eat this shit up.

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