Sunday, July 09, 2006

Amusing searches have been far and few between again as of late. For as long as it's taken to put together a new list you'd think it'd be a decent one, but no, this is a pretty piss-poor crop of stuff that's already piss-poor by nature. Sadly, we go to 'blog with the material we have, not the material we want.

if you a guy and you wont to wear a tampon is that alright

Uhhhhh, depending on where you are planning to "wear" that tampon, and what your motivations for doing so are, you may want to visit a doctor before or after this little adventure.

ways to try to get yourself the hiccups

When I first saw this, I was like, that's easy -- just do what my stepdad always advised: hold your breath and count to a thousand. Then I re-read it -- this person doesn't want to get rid of the hiccups, they want to get them. What the fuck? How annoying and infuriating are the hiccups? Why would you want to bring them on purposely? Hey chief, why don't you look into how you can give yourself cancer while you're at it. The thing that irritates me the most about the hiccups is that if they go on for not too long, I start getting used to the sensation. Then when they finally go away, I sit there for at least a half a minute in anticipation of the next one, and I find myself a little pissed off that it isn't coming just because I'm expecting it.

picture of gas nozzle in the butt

Talk about taking it up the ass from the oil companies. Now we know the real reason gas prices are so high.

Fuck my little pussy with your big dick

Wow, you must have a really little pussy if you're saying that to me.


If getting a brand watch was your dream from the childhood

Okay, this is sad on so many levels. If having a nice watch was a childhood dream, you had a pathetic childhood and I'm guessing you're a sad-sack in adulthood. Furthermore, if you had that dream as a child and you're fulfilling it with a shitty knock-off in a spam e-mail, well, yeah. Sad sack.

"liberal bias" "weather channel"

You've got to be fucking kidding me. I don't know what's more pathetic -- someone trying to find bias in the Weather Channel, or the notion of left-leaning weather forecasts in the first place. The latter makes me think of AM760 in the Denver area, which is our local liberal, ERRRRR, progressive radio station. I can't stand to listen to it often, but when I do I hear the traffic report, segments which they refer to as "progressive traffic." And every time I hear that I think to myself, do we really need left-wing traffic reports?

how to fuck a husband

Divorce him and take half. EDDDDDDIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

how do i put my penis in my girlfriends vagina

I really wish I was making a lot of these up, but no, there are people out there making queries like this. Anyone this dumb shouldn't be putting their penis anywhere that might lead to breeding; I'd suggest putting it in a blender or the garbage disposal instead. And since I'm sure you need full instructions, flip the goddamn "on" switch after inserting.

schoolgirls take over world

Aside from myself taking over, there has never, ever been a world domination idea that I've been more on board with. Sure, it will turn out more vapid and stupid than I want to admit, but at least it'll look hot.

ken fucks barbie


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