Thursday, July 06, 2006

Because no one else is making this joke

Or, you can be neither.

This rest of this post is pretty stale, too, but I'm in the mood for a bunch of smart-ass comments on a load of utter crap.

"The president that chases the opinion poll is the president that will have failed policy."

Like usual, simpleton, it doesn't have to be an either/or proposition.

"Because we're right on winning this war on terror, and we've got a good economic record."

Just because you say something, doesn't mean it's true. Hey, I'm getting so much pussy that every time I turn around I find myself saying "These hos have gotta get up offa me. Damn, despite saying that, I'm still sitting here alone.

When it comes to the most controversial single decision of his presidency -- invading Iraq -- the president told King he would make the same choice again, even knowing that Saddam Hussein's regime did not have weapons of mass destruction.

Any way you try and slice that, that is still one of the dumbest things ever said.

"We removed a tyrant," Bush said.

Yeah, I guess. But I'll use this as an opportunity to reference this cartoon, which if, for no other reason, is funny to me thanks to the caricature that doesn't really even look like Saddam.

"He was an enemy of the United States..."

Yeah, one who had our boot so far up his ass that he couldn't really do anything.

"... who harbored terrorists..."

Uh, he gave a couple of checks to the families of suicide bombers. Or at least, that's what you used to keep harping on.

"... and who had the capacity, at the very minimum, to make weapons of mass destruction."

Just insert disgruntled sighing noises here.

"And he was a true threat."

Survey says..... BZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

Bush also told King that if North Korea's missiles had presented a threat to the United States, "We had a plan in place to respond."

"We've got a missile defense system that will defend our country," he said without elaborating.

What, you mean the missile shield that usually fails during tests? You know, the tests where we know ahead of time there's an incoming target?

"Quite the contrary. I feel it is an honor to be in this position," he said. "I wake up enthused about working on this year's problems because I've got confidence we can solve them."

Wow, that's pretty optimistic since we've solved, I dunno, about zero problems in this country in recent memory. To say nothing of the new ones we've created.

He said he fears another September 11-style terrorist attack. "I think we're safer, but I'm worried about an enemy that wants to hit us again."

Saying he worries is about as close as I've seen Bush get to thinking and speaking realistically, and using the qualifier of "I think" tells you pretty much everything you need to know.

The president says he retains a good relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin...

I'll get back to Vlady here in a minute.

The president said the federal government is "better prepared today than we were last year" to deal with another hurricane disaster.

How could we possibly be LESS fucking prepared?! Yeah, I know, we could be, and that's really scary.

We've got a better relationship with the [National] Guard so that the Guard can move more immediately.

How? Have you stopped sending them off to die in Iraq? One weekend a month!

Bush predicted that al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden will be captured eventually.

Alright, I'm done. On a scale of one to ten, the bullshit just hit, I dunno, a million.

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