Saturday, November 25, 2006

Wow, I dunno if I've ever gone this long without making a post. And if I have, it's been awhile. Sorry, world, I'm not dead yet. I do realize that I'm going to die someday, but I am still my fucking khakis.

So let's get things rolling by talking about someone else who we'd all forgotten about, Michael Richards. First off, when his name first showed up in the headlines, I was like many people -- "Who?" Sad that his name was meaningless at the outset considering that he played one of the most iconic characters in TV history.

You know what, though? I think it's fantastic when racist assholes spew their garbage. The more they do it, the better, I say. Well, within limits of course -- as long as it's not inciting killings or riots and shit. But within those limits I'm down because then we know exactly who the racist dipshits are. It's just much more honest. We know who they are and we know where they're at.

Like with anything there's a flipside, and I of course end up annoyed when someone does this because we know that we're now on the express train to Insincerity Junction. Whenever someone gets off a blast like this, there is the inevitable stream of bullshit apologies that follows. Apologies that they don't mean and are only saying as part of the normal damage control routine. Obnoxiously, it always has to go beyond the perpetrator:

"This is one thing we don't tolerate. ... I personally apologize. I apologize from my heart," Masada said Monday.

Why are you apologizing, lady? You didn't do anything. Well, other than let him back on stage after saying you don't tolerate that. But with regards to apologizing for the words of someone else, which they controlled and you didn't -- insincere, ineffective nonsense.

"Freedom of speech has its limitations and I think Michael Richards found those limitations."

Clear and present danger just called, and it's telling you you're an idiot. Michael Richards isn't going to jail over this. He was still well within First Amendment bounds, you stem.

Another thing I found offensive:

Richards retorts: "Shut up! Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass."

Okay, two things, the first being the fact that I have to de-censor CNN. Second, if you can step aside from the racism for a minute, that joke isn't even funny. Shit, it really doesn't even make sense. If you are going to make racist jokes at least make sure they're funny. And yes, you know that racist jokes can be funny, you fucking Chuwero. Every last one of us has made and laughed at racist jokes. No, we're not cool for it, but it happens.

"I think it's a career ruiner for him. ... It's going to be a long road back for him, if at all."

I really don't know why people even bother saying shit like this.

Then, there is the other side, which manages to piss me off too:

The protesters also demanded an apology from the Laugh Factory.

What a bunch of whiny crybabies. You have nothing better to do than protest against this nonsense? And what is an apology from the comedy club going to do? It does about as much as praying.

Look, I'm not trying to trivialize this. But there's always a loss of perspective on the bigger picture when it comes to these things. Although he's certainly guilty of overreaction at times as well, Al Sharpton put it well:

"Last Monday I was on the stage in Washington where they broke the ground for the Martin Luther King monument. It showed us how far we have come. Then by the end of the week, his tirade shows us how far we still have to go."

Yes, exactly. Although we are a long ways away from minorities being upside down with forks in their asses, things are still not exactly great. There's still plenty of racism, sexism, homophobia, what have you, floating around out there to show that we're not as enlightened as we'd like to be.

What I really wish people would do when someone goes Michael Richards or Mel Gibson is just ignore them. Okay, maybe give them a punch in the nuts (or somewhere else if nuts are not available on the asshole in question), call them a fuck-off, and then just ignore them. All the protesting and bickering and apologizing doesn't do anything at all to change the situation. The racist asshole will still be a racist asshole, but at least they're up front about it, so we can just stay away if we so desire.

In closing, a quote from Carlin on racist speech and the use of the word "nigger":

"We don't mind when Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy uses it. Why? Because we know they're not racists. They're Niggers!"

That whole bit of Carlin's is pretty solid because it points out how the words -- just the words themselves -- are pretty benign, because words don't do actually do anything. No, it's the actions (yes Meatwad, with actions!) of racist assholes that really matter. If they just wanna talk, though, let them talk. We don't have to listen.

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