Friday, April 21, 2006

Another load of search engine shit. Behold:

fuck my deck

Sounds like a good weekend project.

sex pills for women to fuck anyone

Dude, if you don't know about roofies, then you are a failure as a date rapist. Which, I suppose, is a good thing, unless if this is Porky Pig and he's gonna see Elmer Fudd soon.

freeballing in track

"Dude, did you see that guy's balls?"
"Yeah... They were weird-looking."

women's panties/ built in dongs

Look, a strapon I can understand. But can any of you ladies explain to me the utility of an item such as this? "I want the comfort of a pair of regular panties, with the added benefit of others thinking I have a man's junk." That's all I can come up with at the moment.

girls who fuck on the water

Now that right there is a fucking miracle.

fuck me right

This doesn't make sense -- the Republicans are against fucking.

how to fuck a grill

... And something to do after we finish off the deck. I'm pretty sure I've gotten this before; are people just badly misspelling "girl" by transposing the 'i' and the 'r' and then adding an extra 'l'? Or are people really looking to fuck their grill? If it's the latter, here's a tip: you wanna do it right after you've cooked up some food on it.

is everything going to be ok

This search hit actually kinda depressed me, because you can just feel the naive desperation of this person coming through MSN search. They pretty much got their answer when they landed here, too. Of course, one shouldn't need my site if they have been paying attention to anything (as most people don't), or, shit, if they knew anything at all about entropy.

japanese hottie blogspot

On the surface, this is another hit that doesn't look too interesting. What is interesting is that it came from When I first saw '' in my traffic log, I was like, "oh, shit." But then I was pleasantly surprised to see this, my tax dollars at work. I can get behind this waste of tax dollars before a lot of others, though, which is pretty sad.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Der flammenwerfer

Wow. Just, wow. The bullshit has officially gotten so thick that you're gonna need to get out your flamethrower to bust through it.

When the NSA wiretapping program began, Mr. Joel wasn't working for the intelligence office, but he says he has reviewed it and finds no problems.

Yeah, exactly.

"Although you might have concerns about what might potentially be going on, those potentials are not actually being realized and if you could see what was going on, you would be reassured just like everyone else," he says.

Oh, ok, now I feel reassured.

And therein lies the problem he faces: how to provide enough insight into government intelligence efforts to ease concerns about privacy invasions while protecting the usefulness of secret programs.

The problem he faces? What problem? How hard is it to be a mouthpiece and rubber-stamp man?

Mr. Joel's mission, like those of the other privacy cops, appears aimed more at policy than policing. While there might be occasion to look into complaints, he says most of his work is focused on creating a dialogue with government officials, intelligence operatives and others so they're thinking about privacy and civil liberties and ways to tailor a program to ensure rights aren't compromised.

Alright, alright, now I'm comforted. When they do ill shit to violate privacy and civil liberties, it will make it oh-so-much better knowing that they had some dialogue and thought about it before doing what they wanted to anyway.

In other news, I'm creating the post of Officer of Bad and Tasteless Jokes to create dialogue and get me thinking about offensive material before I release it into the wild as originally intended. I will also be appointing a Swearing Czar.


Sunday, April 16, 2006

One of these days I'm gonna have a house with a lawn and I'm gonna erect a giant statue of Chairman Mao. It just sounds like a good idea. I'd do it now but I'm guessing the HOA would not approve of such a venture.