Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Alright, I seriously am not making any special effort to include links to porn sites in recent posts, but there's another set of naughty links coming up here. Well, porn of sorts, at least.

Can someone explain to me the need for that? Look, it's bad enough that so many women in porn and skin rags have a sort of Borg-like thing going in that they're part human, part plastic. But does there need to be a site dedicated to fucking women that are literally plastic? Or, well, whatever the fuck materials they use for those things.

I'm putting people who look at RealDoll porn up there in Christan Conservative territory on the loser scale. Again, if I'm calling you out in the "need to find something better to do with your time" department, you need to check yourself. I'm not going after people who have RealDolls, although I probably should, especially when taking into account how much one of those things costs. No, I don't have one, and am not intending to get one. Although considering where I'm at at this juncture, maybe I should. I'm good at buying things.

Oh, and for anyone new to RealDolls or anyone in need of review, go ye forth, and be creeped out.

Shit, speaking of creepy. We're alredy familiar with the full-on dolls that they sell, but check out this thing that they sell. Jesus R. Christ, I'm going to have nightmares about ol' Stumpy there. All I can picture is trying to fuck that thing and then the stumps start moving around of their own accord. Shit, I need to go drink.
Okay, I think this is a pretty weak crop again. I've been waiting for fucking ever for a really good search hit to come along to close off with, but it just isn't happening. This has been in draft stage for nearly a month and I just want to get it the fuck out there.

Spam:

Obesity is really widespread

No. Fucking. Shit.

who the fuck cares about danica patrick

Well, you, apparently.

do jews pray in a certain direction

Yeah -- facing the bank. Sorry, I couldn't resist. And I know you laughed, Mel Gibson.

Spam:

Bullets sprinkled 0n her twat

Nice, just what we were missing -- porn for the gun-nut set. In case this appeals to you, I recently read about (incoming porn link) this in Hustler.

iran sucks donkey dongs

Fuck, why haven't we had this guy doing our negotiating for us? The level of intelligence that this 'blog attracts via search engines is just astounding.

Spam:

Separate yourself from other men

I don't need some crap being hawked in junk mail to be able to accomplish that.

your shit is gonna get kicked in the fuck

What the hell is that even supposed to mean?

jimmy fucking her mom

Apparently, there's something about Jimmy we were previously unaware of. Okay, two things.

teresa heinz tits

When I first saw this in my referral log, the first thought that came into mind was Teresa Heinz Kerry topless with ketchup all over her tits. I know that's not a pleasant image, but it ended up in my head so now you have to suffer too.

how to fuck some women in vietnam

Talk to Gary Glitter. Oh, wait, women? Nevermind.

Spam:

Oh, you are not able to control your feelings!

There's an interesting new approach. "Sorry, honey, I just wasn't able to control my feelings for you." You know some women would buy into that at least once.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Alright, so saw this on CNN last night:

Is Britney's hubby -- 'K-Fed' -- a hip-hop joke?

Exactly why someone felt the need to even ask this is a sad referendum on, I dunno, everything. K-Fed is the only person I've ever known of who is pushing forward to have a music career solely to get people off his ass.

Have you seen or heard his shit? Oh my god. I wish I hadn't, but I have. That's what I get for letting myself get suckered into watching the Teen Choice Awards (some of you are asking "Why?", the rest of you have been here more than once). But seriously, dude, just go back to being Mr. Spears and shut the fuck up already. We can mock you just fine with you in that position.

Spanktrovision

Christian conservatives are the biggest fucking losers in the history of mankind. These people need to get a life and find something better to do with their time. This coming from me.

A coalition of 13 conservative groups -- including the Family Research Council and Concerned Women for America -- took out full-page ads in some editions of USA Today earlier this month urging the Justice Department and FBI to investigate whether some of the pay-per-view movies widely available in hotels violate federal and state obscenity laws.

What the fuck? The shit they show in hotels is soft-core, for starters. Or at least, I was under the impression that most of it is. And if not, so what? It's not like they're gonna push any real boundaries by showing horse porn or something. And besides...

They made clear, however, that their companies consider adult movies to be an acceptable option because they can be ignored or blocked out by guests not wishing to view them.

I can't believe that such a simple concept is so easily ignored with so many things like this in this country. Of course, for these CC cretins, we shouldn't have basic rights like being able to make a choice to beat off. Choice is un-American. God, it's sad that I put that out there intending it to be a joke, only to realize it's true.

The leader of the campaign against in-room porn is Phil Burress, a self-described former porn addict who heads the Cincinnati-based Citizens for Community Values.

What a loser. Once you knew how to beat off and now you're repressed. That's great, chief.

"As more and more of these (hardcore) titles become available, we're going to have sexual abuse cases coming out of the hotels," he said. "Hotels are just as dangerous as environments around strip joints and porn stores."

I seriously don't want to live in a world where someone can say something this stupid and not immediately be shot in the face. This, of course, makes me as big of a fascist as the CC crowd is. But I'm not in charge of anything, nor do I have influence over anything of importance.

Seriously, though, back that shit up with some facts, asshole. Because, clearly, there are no sex abuse cases in hotels with porn out of the picture. Of course, facts are also un-American, especially to this crowd. All that matters to them is being a spoiled fucking baby that has to have everything it's lame-ass way.

Burress said he was "cautiously optimistic" that Justice Department officials -- whom he and other anti-porn leaders confer with periodically -- would seriously consider investigating hotel-based pornography.

It wouldn't surprise me if they did, those stupid shitheads. Because, really, this is something worth wasting time over. No real criminals left out there or anything. And nothing better these people could be doing with their time and money like, I dunno, helping people. No, that would be something Christ might do.