Saturday, August 30, 2008

Huh. So, yeah, that's an interesting choice. McCain has finally answered the big question -- which presidential or vice presidential candidate would heterosexual men most want to have sex with?

But yeah, she's not wholly unpleasant to look at. Dig the glasses. The social Conservatism? Not so much.

Of course, this is America, and we're not about superficialities, nor would we continue to dwell on the fact that the new kid on the block isn't exactly a kid but is still pretty hot.

Traffic also spiked at sites showcasing pictures from 1984, when she wore the crown of Miss Wasilla and competed in the Miss Alaska contest.

Yeah, anyway... So a non-surprise surprise. No one knew who the fuck this woman was 24 hours ago, but now everyone does. On one hand, it's an intriguing move, maybe even a good move. Of course, many conservatives are gonna rhetorically fellate the choice no matter what, even if they're privately saying "Dude WTF?" Some will be genuinely down with it, though; compared to McCain, Palin (and anyone else with a pulse) is a young'un who can inject some life into the campaign while still being fully satisfying to the conservative base. And when I say "fully satisfying" I do mean that they are getting hard-ons over her, but not the fun kind that some of us might. And some of it even involves drilling, but not the kind some of us are pondering.

On top of her right-wing credentials, she potentially helps shore up the women's vote, especially those dumb cunts who can't get over the fact that Hillary lost and were thinking of voting for McCain because of it. Or the fact that they're racists, or both. Either way, cunts.

The combination of choice and timing were definitely brilliant, though. For all it matters now the Democrats may as well have not even had their circlejerk.

But on the other hand... Okay, sure, this is a Clinton guy talking, but he has a point. You could very easily see this as McCain trying to make the case for losing the election at this point. After all, what exactly in the fuck has she done to qualify to basically be the next president, since McCain is bound to die soon? She was mayor of some town no one ever heard about and she's currently mayor of a state that no one cares about. Care to challenge me on that, you whale eating moron? Bring it you Eskimo fuck.

Anyway... As has been pointed out a billion times already, this sounds oddly familiar and as such Democrats have no room to complain about her lack of experience since, hey, Obama's been a senator for, what, fifteen minutes now? I mean, seriously, he's done jack shit too. As always, I am not offering anything new or groundbreaking.

I'm pretty divided on whether or not all this "experience" shit matters. After all, we talk a lot about how we want change in Washington, which we don't, so who better to offer it than someone who hasn't been part of the machine for all these years? Someone who has, instead, been part of some smaller, more meaningless machine? Besides, even if they turn out shitty, it's not like one person can completely fuck the country all on their own.

No, seriously. What, you think Bush did all this shit on his own? The man's a re-re. He likes Jesus and that's about it. It was the obnoxious neocon cabal propping him up that did all this shit. Plus a Republican congress all those years didn't hurt. Is there anything like Wolfowitz and Cheney hiding in the shadows of McCain or Obama? Beats the shit out of me. They're all assholes anyway; we just gotta be more careful than in 2000 since it's a matter of what flavor of asshole and what other d-bags they bring to the party.

Aside from the expected conservative shit and the fuckability, I think we can already tell enough about her just from her family life. Five fucking kids. To borrow a word I heard used earlier, do we really need a Broodmare in Chief? Okay, so that's pretty sexist; why should I use the fact that she has a bunch of kids against her? Okay, how about this? The names of her kids: Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig. The bookends are boys, the three in the middle are girls. What the fuck does it say about someone's judgment if those are the names they pick for their kids? Track? Trig? Trig is an infant who was diagnosed in the womb with Down's Syndrome (Palin's apparently a hero for not aborting him); the kid has enough problems without being saddled with that name. And what the fuck kind of name is Bristol for a girl? Any relation to the vicious Chicken of Bristol?

Since I'm in the middle of being a complete asshole (how would one know the difference, anyway?), and I already commented on the attractiveness present in Biden's family (I even think his wife is pretty good-looking if you can believe that, which you can't), here's the Guv with her daughters:

The one on the right... Maybe. Kinda hard to tell from that pic. Looks like she might be hot, but also looks kinda bitchy (which can be hot if you don't have to put up with it personally). I'm not sure how the little one is gonna turn out; I see some pics where she looks cute and others where she just looks kinda weird. And the one on the left? If you squint a little she looks like a very low-rent Hayden Panettiere.

Anyway, back to the real issues. So what does it say about someone's judgment if they choose a running mate with the kind of judgment that leads to those names for their kids? Obama at least had the sense to pick Biden. Of course, Biden has a son who goes by "Beau," and that's kinda weird.

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