So both circlejerks are mercifully over. I saw half of Obama's speech after the fact, and it failed to get me hard enough to go watch the rest. I saw all of McCain's speech, and meh. Overall, both candidates failed to inspire me. Rudy inspired me to long for the days when I thought he could be awesome. Biden inspired encouraged me to continue liking Biden. Palin inspired me to want to have hot, sweaty, angry, and -- oh yes -- bipartisan sex with her.

Continuing with the uninspiration, lightning round time:

• That video they played before McCain came out and gave his speech. I didn't see all of it, but, Jesus. Melodramatic much? We get it, McCain has a pretty interesting story.
• I loved how when someone tried to cause some shit during McCain's speech the crowd's response was to start chanting "U-S-A! U-S-A!" and McCain dismissed it as "static." Dissenting opinion, meet thoughful and mature response.
• Of course, the crowd had to chant "U-S-A!" multiple times to remind everyone that the Republicans have a monopoly on patriotism.
• Note to McCain: LOSE THAT CREEPY FUCKING SMILE. Seriously, anytime you are trying to make a point, DON'T PUNCTUATE IT LIKE THAT.
• McCain's spiel on education. All I could think was, oh great, here we go with this voucher shit again. Quick quiz: how do you improve public education? By destroying it, of course!
• I loved the asshole in the audience who had a sign that read "The Mavrick." Guess he didn't get to go to no fancy private school, huh?
• In addition to the "U-S-A!" chants, I think the second most common refrain from the audience these past two nights was "Drill baby drill." Oh my fucking god, you people are losers. You need Viagra to get hard for this shit?
• I just love how McCain still kisses ass with Bush. I understand that's just decorum talking, but c'mon. Some maverick you are. How's that illegitimate black daughter working out for you? Okay, okay, that wasn't Bush talking, it was Karl Rove. But still.
• My response to a lot of McCain's bullet points: How?
• Many old and tired themes reared their heads tonight, and one of them was the notion of "legislating from the bench." I'm tired of this shit. If they do something you agree with, awesome. If they do something you disagree with, then they're activist judges legislating from the bench. Fuck you very much.

I think that's a good stopping point.