Friday, February 08, 2008

And yet another awesome comic discovery: Jesus and Mo. Link stolen from Sarah, longtime friend of the program. A sampling of a couple really good ones can be found at her post here.
Matt Damon is one of the coolest people out there. In case you need more evidence, there's this.

No I have not gone into the furniture business

How exactly do you fuck up like this? How do you not know? I don't care how poorly read you are, I don't care how out of touch with pretty much everything you are, everyone knows that when you hear "Lolita" it's probably not good. Well, it's good, but, well... Exactly.

Sunday, February 03, 2008


So yeah that's pretty funny. I wasn't all that worked up over the game to begin with -- I've never understood why the Super Bowl is such a big deal if you don't normally root for either of the teams playing. I mean it's like a religious holiday for lots of guys, only more important. I guess it's an excuse to party and get drunk, but seriously, why do we ever need excuses for that?

Anyway this was one of those games where I could come up with reasons to root against both teams. Like most of the rest of the country I'm sick of Boston, and New York is, well, New York. In the end I was pulling for the Giants because as it turns out I'm more sick of Boston in general and the Patriots in specific than I am of New York overall. The OCD in me would have gotten some satisfaction had the Patriots pulled it out just because of the perfect record, plus I think we're all pretty tired of hearing about the '72 Dolphins. So either way it would have gone I would have been like, meh.

I suppose it was pretty cool to see Quentin Tarentino win the Super Bowl and get MVP honors so early in his career, especially after it took his older brother so long to finally "win the big one." Speaking of whom, does that guy not have any friends or something? Like why was he sitting alone in a corner nearly every time the cameras went to him in the booth? Cut that meat!

The other reason people get all worked up for the Super Bowl -- the commercials -- weren't too stellar either. Although I'm sure if there were any really good ones I missed them anyway. The one with Carville and Frist was kinda funny, and I think the best one I saw was the one with Dwayne Wade and Charles Barkley. Gotta love Chuckles.
Okay so who out there has been Rickrolled? I haven't been but for some reason find the concept hilarious. Probably because it's never happened to me. For those unfamiliar, how it works is that someone sends you a link to something that sounds totally awesome and it ends up being a link to this video. I think a typical Rickrolling experience goes something like this.

As a side note, the first time I saw that video I was like, there's no way that that is that kid's voice.

Anyway to get to the main purpose of this post, which is to link to this. That is just so fucking awesome and at the same time sad when you think that there are people out there with so much time on their hands. That doesn't make it less awesome, cause, damn.

There is lots of other stuff I found on YouTube done in Mario Paint Composer but that was by far the best. Oh, and apparently most weren't done in real Mario Paint, but someone made a clone of it that you can download. All that makes me ask though is when are they gonna make a standalone flyswatter game for download? It's probably out there if I would JFGI.

And as one more aside, primarily for ETP, you can find all of the Migraine Boy stuff on YouTube if you haven't already. Not as funny as we made them out to be, but still kinda amusing.
This one's really just for the ultra hard-core nerds out there. Almost a shame that A) He's looking for women and B) I'm not gay (so pissed that I've been told all these years it's a choice and it isn't) because anyone who makes fork() jokes is OK by me.

While we're on the subject of personals that whole eHarmony thing isn't panning out. For those unfamiliar with the service here's how it works:
  1. You fill out your personality profile so that they can begin matching you based on 29 different dimensions of compatability.
  2. Once you are in the system you can fill out a profile and upload pictures for others to see. In other words, a picture and a paragraph.
  3. When you are matched with someone based on 29 different dimensions of compatability you are notified as such.
  4. When you are matched with someone based on 29 different dimensions of compatability you can then choose to A) Ignore them B) "Close" the match and notify the other party of your lack of interest or C) Begin communicating.
As you might imagine it's primarily A and B action going on. I have received no incoming C action and anytime I try and initiate communication it is almost always fucking ignored. When someone tries to start communicating with you -- someone who, may I remind you, was matched with you based on 29 different dimensions of compatability -- you can politely close that match if you're not interested. But most of these dumb bitches don't even give you that courtesy! This is pretty much just like real fucking life. Fuck that. eFuckingLame.

Anyway I just don't see why I can't get a girlfriend.

It could be that like most of the fucking girls out there are, apparently, 5'7" and above. Apparently their 29 different dimensions of compatability don't include height. Yeah I know, I make a much bigger deal out the whole short man's syndrome thing than I should, but c'mon. Throw me a fucking bone here.
So it's old news (like three whole days or something) and I don't even have a link but I was kinda disappointed to see Rudy drop puss out of the race so quickly after his poor Florida showing. Not that I did another about-face on Rudy -- the guy still sucked, sandwich or not. When your whole platform is "9/11!" you're not a good candidate; you're George W. Bush.

I wanted Rudy to be at least competitive, though, just to prove that the early states, like Iowa and New Hampshire, really don't matter. I am so fucking sick and tired of fucking Iowa and New Hampshire having a fucking disproportionate amount of say in this fucking process. I know, I know, letting marginal states like that do their thing early makes the candidates care about those states and pay attention to them. So that, you know, once they get elected they can go back to ignoring those states like they would have preferred to be doing all along.

Of course this saga with Rudy just helps to show the opposite of what I was hoping for, and that those early contests do matter even if the states and every single person who lives in them don't. Although momentum might not be everything, it certainly doesn't hurt. If nothing else I think it just comes down to a matter of exposure. You've heard nothing but shit about most of the candidates for the past several weeks, but Giuliani has been all but invisible. In the course of a few short weeks he went from being America's Mayor to Rudy Who?liani (sorry, best I could come up with).

While we're talking candidates, maybe I should get on board with McCain, if for no other reason some of the d-bags who are against him. Sorry for linking something with Ann Coulter's picture in it; seeing her makes my dick go and hide in my spleen, too.
While we're anointing, what kind of scientists would publish a study saying that both exercise and booze are good for you? Only the MOST AWESOME FUCKING SCIENTISTS EVER!

Well OK so pretty awesome at least:

Before you rush off to hit the bar after your workout, keep in mind that your age matters. Alcohol may do you no coronary good until you reach the age at which heart disease becomes an appreciable risk. "You wouldn't advise everyone to drink," says Gronbaek. "You shouldn't even think about doing it until age 45 or 50. There's absolutely no proof of a preventative and protective effect before age 45."

Might want a second opinion on that part.

If they're right about this, though, it turns out that Servo was right.

"Packed with minerals booze really satisfies."
- Tom Servo
This girl is making a strong play for title of Coolest Kid Ever. Seriously, how big of a failure does that make you feel like? Social life aside I'm moderately successful and that even makes me think, damn, I need to get a day planner or something.
Another great comic discovery: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. A sampling of some that I enjoyed a great deal, hitting on some of my favorite subjects:

Sex offender jokes
DV perp jokes
Slasholes (well, that's what first comes to mind for me)
Noam Chomsky
Religious tolerance
Marital strife
Sex ed
Creationism vs. Evolution
More creationism
Elegant solutions