Saturday, April 19, 2008

So, is this gonna become a new trend (if it isn't already; I live under a rock)? I hope not. Us guys all love to see girls fighting but that's not what we're talking about.

I guess it shouldn't really be a surprise to see this kind of stuff, though. While we expect this kind of cretinism out of guys we all know that girls are the truly vicious ones. Combine the internet plus the stupidity of youth plus the fact that all girls and women hate each other and here's the end result.

Never fully understood why all women hate one other, I just know it's true. At some point or other if you know a girl she will inevitably say this: "I have more guy friends than girl friends." Now of course that isn't necessarily indicative of hatred but I think it's a clue. Is it some sort of competition thing? Really though in the end what is there to compete for? Guys? I suppose that makes some evolutionary sense but trust me ladies we're not worth it. And don't worry I'm not forgetting lesbians; they're obviously a different case since they are wired differently, ERRR, have made alternative lifestyle choices (speaking of cretinism...).

Hey, you know, that actually brings me to a decent conclusion to this post. For myriad reasons I am probably of zero credibility to be giving this advice but I'm going for it anyway. Note to young girls: please stop beating the hell out of schoolmates just to be bitches and post it on the internet. If you want to do something interesting and post it on the 'net to get a bunch of attention, might I suggest lesbianism instead?

Friday, April 18, 2008

So I'm reading this earlier, and I'm like, man, that's messed up. There is just no excuse for people living like that in this day and age. Of course that's just appalling to me, but like any good citizen it's not like I'm gonna do anything about it. Although I'd think now those people might end up being some of the lucky ones -- they got on CNN and there's a decent chance that someone will throw some help their way. There are plenty more people like that out there who will never show up on CNN's front page and will continue to be forgotten. Which fits well with the rest of this post...

Immediately after reading that story, I read this.

"I just thought, 'If I go to another paint-a-ceramic-bowl or stuff-a-bear party, I'll shoot myself,'" says Kaster.

Please do.

Seriously, what the fuck does a three-year-old need with a birthday party and a goddamn fondue restaurant?

"We really promote a healthy balance of living year round"

Somehow I doubt that.

"but it's OK to indulge your child once a year, because it's about making a memory."

You know I could be wrong, but I could swear I learned somewhere that kids don't really start to remember shit until they're like five.

"I didn't think all 16 would come, but they did, and it was $15 a person," she said. Add in the cake, favors, pizza and soda, and Forstrom spent over $1,000.

"After we got the bill I was like, 'Oh my God!' It was more expensive than fixing the dog's broken leg.

I don't know why, but I just find it hilarious that the dog's broken leg is the first thing this woman thinks of when making a price comparison.

This year, Kaster decided to try a slightly simpler approach. For Sophie's party, she booked a small theater that does plays for children, hand-decorated a sheet cake from the supermarket, and got inexpensive favors from a discount store. The whole event cost less than $500."

Okay lady, you got it together and backed off, I guess I'll rescind my suggestion to shoot yourself.

Look, I can understand how parents could easily get out of control with this stuff. If I had kids, and the money, I'd spoil them rotten. I'd do egregiously excessive stuff like this if I had the means. And if I would do it, you know what that means for anyone who actually does? EPIC FAIL.