Monday, March 28, 2011

She turned me into a newt

So Republicans hate Obama so much and are so scared of how he's ruining America that precisely no one will man up and say "Yeah, I'm gonna take down that commie-Nazi-Muslim-not-born-in-America-motherfucker." Yeah, OK, Palin is pretty much a lock, but she hasn't said anything other than her usual gibberish yet. And there's D-Trump who is so full of his own bullshit that he thinks we're laughing with him and he will probably give it a go since he can't see past his own terrible combover. But again, he hasn't said anything definitive either (unless I missed it because I wanted to).

And then there's Newt, who's said he's kinda-sorta thinking about maybe running. For awhile there, I was really on board with the idea of Newt running for a handful of completely pragmatic reasons. One reason was me thinking, god, just not Palin, alright? Yes, it would be a major embarrassment to the Republicans, and funny in that right, but I think right, left, or center, Palin shames us all by her very celebrity, to say nothing of a legit presidential run.

Newt, on the other hand, is someone I thought I could respect intellectually. Look, I'm not saying I like the dude, OK? I fucking hate Dick Cheney -- I frequently refer to him as one of the biggest pieces of shit alive -- but I do have a begrudging respect for him on an intellectual level. I don't think Newt is as big of a shitclown as Cheney (although still a pretty damn big one), but it's the same kind of deal. And at least I could say, "Hey, at least dude's smart, unlike many others."

And to further clarify, should he run, no, I'm not gonna vote for him. Or anyone else for that matter. If you're not part of the problem, well, you're not part of the problem. Voters on the other hand are part of the problem. I'm not saying we abandon the illusion of representative democracy, but I am saying that the electorate is fucking retarded.

Anyway, back to Newt. I also first thought that he is what the Republican party really needs -- a smart dude with some street cred. But then there's stuff like this.

"I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they're my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists..."

What? Secular atheist radical Islamists? Is that like Jews for Jesus (which I thought were called Christians but no they're a separate group)? Newt is not going to get better. And neither are the rest of us.

I don't understand the whole notion of Islamists becoming a dominant force in this country, anyway. This is not the first time some scaremonger has ejaculated this on a group of sheep. Islamists. Really. A group with no current political power? A group of people who can't get on an airplane without making white people tremble? A group of people that many dumbfucks refer to as sand niggers? They're seriously going to be in charge in a handful of decades?

Sure, the scaremongers might not really believe that, and they're just doing what they can to rile up people who are dumb enough to believe anything. But shit, maybe they do believe their own nonsensical rhetoric. And besides, everyone knows that it's really the hispanics who are going to be in charge in the medium-term future. And, holy fuck, I just figured it out! That's what all this radical Islam shit is about -- it's just one big feint operation by all those illegals and other Mexicans to distract us from the fact that they're taking over!

Ya see how stupid shit like that sounds, Newt? Hey, not any dumber than acid wash, right? I close with this:


ETP said...

I was going to comment on Newt's BS but you pretty much covered it.

Also, how many times has he had marriages fail? And he still get church support? Huh.

Lastly, that picture is awesome.

Bitter Little Man said...

Well, he became Catholic a couple years back. He figured that was a good group to roll with 'cause if they coddle pedophiles then they're sure to let some failed marriages slide. Actually, what is the current Church stance on divorce, anyway? It's so hard to keep track of their bullshit.

ETP said...

Divorce = FAIL

You can always have it annulled but as far as I know the above is still their hard line stance. However, since Newt wasn't married in the Catholic Church, they may say it doesn't count.

Anonymous said...

You can always trust Catholics to support useless fuckers.
You should be glad though, at least there is something to comment on in American politics - I'm from Britain and the only major topic of conversation is trying to guess which one is the biggest cunt (my money is currently on Cameron, but I'm sure the other two will manage to surprise me).
As for Dick Cheney, has he not been attacked by some Mexican illegal yet? It's been so long since his cats arse face has been on the news here, I assumed he'd died. Or given up.