Monday, February 07, 2011


Here's my foray into advertising:


"You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants."
- Dave Attell

Bonus for using 'recalcitrant,' I guess

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Sunday, February 06, 2011


OK, you gotta follow this one through. It is entitled "9 Hottest Girls who Play Videogames." Although it's not that exciting it's nerd fare and and the host in the vid is adorable. Towards the end of that link you gotta click another link to get to the top three. Make sure you click on that link.

You can do anything (as long as you have sound turned up)

This site is 12 years old. How is it that I just found out about it?

In a row

Hey, so check out the logo for search engine DuckDuckGo:

Is it just me, or does that duck look like the victim of some surprise buttsecks?

Reich on

So I used to post all kinds of awesome links on here but now I just post them on ETP's Failbook page. Well, I need to start getting some of them out here. This is one of the best I've found in the past several months: Hipster Hitler. It is even more brilliant than it sounds.

Another seriously awesome comic that makes me laugh as much as it makes me envious of the comic's genius is Toothpaste For Dinner.


So mentioning my all-time dreamwoman list got me thinking. The top two, Sasha and Danica, are always pretty quick to come to mind. But I always have to think, who is on the list after that? And then I'm like, oh yeah, I'd have to say Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens. After that I don't really know.

You'll notice a theme there -- petite, dark haired girls. They really are the best, celebs or otherwise. Give them light-colored eyes and freckles and glasses and that may be impossible to beat.

Considering I'm 5'3" in decent shoes my predilection for short women is not really a mystery. Really though it's partly a practical matter, and partly a matter that, at least in this case, smaller is just plain better. Why can't more of them be on board with that too?

Moving on, I never really cared all that much about hair color, well at least insofar as stupid notions like "gentlemen prefer blondes." As far as I've always been concerned, if the hair color looks good, then it really does not matter to me. But still, there's something about dark hair -- particularly straight-up black -- that really is just +1.

OK, so the whole purpose of this post, well initially anyway, was something I came across while thinking about the dreamwoman list. I did not remember exactly how tall Selena is (turns out 5'4" or 5'5"). Enter, a site which once again shows that no matter how trivial of info you seek, you can find it on the internet.

This got me going along another line of thought that is of immense gravity. In my mind, what was the best thing to come out of 1984: Sasha Cohen... Or the first Ghostbusters movie?

That really is a tough call. Sasha has been my #1 celebrity crush since the Salt Lake games. For those of you keeping score at home, yes, she was only 17 at the time, and no, I don't care what you think of that. Anyone who has been here from "back in the day" (sad that there was one of those with regards to this 'blog) knows my fascination with the younger set anyway. I'm not some fucking ChiMo; I'm not gonna be doing anything but looking, OK? And any straight guy who says he doesn't like to at least check out younger girls, even (especially?) of the underage variety, is a fucking liar. Again, most will be look but don't touch, and I really don't see a problem with that as long as dudes aren't total creepers about it.

What the fuck was I talking about? Oh yeah, 1984. Anyway, yeah, Sasha has been my fantasy for a long time, but man, Ghostbusters. That movie was a revelation for me. Easily my favorite movie of the 80s and one of the best of all time IMO. I was so enthralled by that movie that in 3rd grade I wrote a Ghostbusters story. Not some run-of-the-mill eight-year-old drivel, either. This story was a fucking magnum opus. It was thirteen pages. Handwritten. That's fucking War and Peace to a kid. In the story I was the fifth ghostbuster. I spent so much time crafting the story, honing it, that one quarter my teacher actually added comments on my report card that she was concerned that I was taking so much time on the story and not moving on to others. Well fuck her; good literature cannot be rushed.

I don't really have a resolution to this. Really I'm just glad that the world has both of them. I would almost say that the existence of things so sublime would almost make me believe that there is a benevolent god out there. But then I realize: I am not the fifth ghostbuster, and I am not having sex with Sasha Cohen. So fuck you, God who probably doesn't even exist.

Master of my domains

I used to have the domains and registered so that they would point to this 'blog. Well, when the domains were expiring back in like early May, I fucked up and failed to re-register before the deadline. I was under the impression that the domain names got scraped up by some other soulless cocksucker and that was that. Wasn't too big of a deal over the past several months due to my general apathy towards blogging.

Well, I just checked, and both were available and I was able to register them again. So from here on out in addition to the blogspot addy you can use or if you so desire (which you probably don't, so I just wasted $45, thanks dick). And yeah, some other asshole still owns so oh well to that.

Not that anyone cares (I could basically preface every post here with that, or, hell, just call the 'blog that if it wasn't even more emo than what I have), but I did the registration through GoDaddy. Really, that is the stupidest fucking name for, well, anything except maybe a site about incest, but it was the first to come to mind. Not because of the stupid name, but because of Danica Patrick, who is second on my all-time dreamwoman list just in case things don't pan out between me and Sasha Cohen. Yes, I fell prey to advertising, because I am a consumerist whore.