Monday, December 29, 2003

Dear Japan,

We think your bikini models and porn actresses have such nice teeth!

British People

P.S. - Send Pocky

Before we get to why I'm sounding like a racist asshole this morning by insulting not one but two groups of people, five bucks goes to anyone who can catch BOTH of the references made above. And no, I'm not really giving out five dollars. I'm just trying to make you feel better for being able to figure out what's going on in my fucked up head.

Before we go on, be weary of the links in this post if you're at work or something. You know the drill.

Okay, here's one thing I've noticed: I could go back to school, study orthodontistry, and head over to Japan to practice and make a killing. There have been a disproportionate number of Japanese girls I've downloaded not just with imperfect teeth, but just plain fucked up teeth.

Take for instance Hagiwara Mai. Despite those buck teeth, she's quite popular, and with good reason - she's fucking hot. Those teeth actually become endearing after awhile. It's a shame that she has "retired" from modeling and porn.

Despite the asshole tone taken here, this isn't really a complaint, just an interesting observation. It's interesting since I come from the United States, and, more generally, Western society, where our models aren't born - they're manufactured. They're starved, surgically altered, and airbrushed into perfection. Despite all the effort, many of them still end up looking ugly. We are just that fucking stupid.

It's nice to see some sort of realm where what we would probably perceive as "imperfections" aren't frowned upon and buried like they would be over here. Not just teeth, either. Other things, like weight. Remember when Alicia Silverstone got "fat"? Or how Kate Winslett was supposed to be some huge tub? What the fuck was that all about? They looked nice to me, and I'm no chubby chaser. Or how about small breasts, which I see prevalent with Asian women. That's not so prevalent here (when it comes to the women who are marketed, I mean), since somehow, bigger is better for us. Look, I understand having different tastes and all, but it's some kind of fixation over here. I don't get this, and it pisses me off, because I'm a big fan of smaller breasts. Not to mention women who will eat food if I take them out to dinner.

Anyway, all this tit talk is fodder for an entire post of its own, and I'm getting hungry.

Still though, despite liking the somewhat more open mentality (in some regards, at least) I can't help but wonder how Mai never looked into getting those choppers fixed with all the money she must have made. No sense, I guess, when it kinda becomes a trademark. And, like I said, since it doesn't detract from her being hot.

Finally, for you guys who now find yourselves desiring more pics of Mai-chii, I won't leave you hanging. Here's ten pages worth of pics to keep you busy. Yes, she's legal.

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