Who wants to pool their money with me so we can amass $185K and register www.clownpenis.fart?

(Of course this was discussed in an article I linked three years ago and was supposed to start in '09 but a man can dream... And yeah, that's the best I got after disappearing for several weeks again.)

I only had to click the previous comic button twice at this webcomic to get to one on assfisting so it's probably a pretty solid one to be following.

This is pretty amusing: ShitMyDadSays. As described by the guy who runs that feed:

"I'm 29. I live with my 74-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says"

Also available on Failbook if you have such leanings.

OK wait so a couple more random things before I go. This is hilarious:



And this is hilariouser:


Also, if you have not seen Inglourious Basterds you have done yourself a great disservice.

Finally, money.

OK so this is hilarious and disturbing at the same time.

So you know how Google knows you almost as well as you or the people in your life know you? Or even better? C'mon, we've all gotten those ads that hit just a liiiitle to close to home. Like, for instance, if you look though my logged chats on Google Talk, they are predominantly with Dreamgirl. If you haven't been paying attention she was this fucking girl I had a major crush on for way too long. And one day the ad at the top of my Gmail was for some program to help me "Talk to pretty girls!" Fuck you, Google.

Anyway, we've all been there. But after I just made my last post, check out what Google decided to tell me:

Depressed?
Bipolar Disorder and Depression affect millions. Know the signs!
Healthline.com

I don't really have anything to ad(d) to that; I just thought it was kinda amusing and decided to share it.

If I am one thing I am an emo: an emotional homo. I just wrote about the eight-billionth whiny-ass post from the past year that I'm not gonna post 'cause it's just sad. Be glad for that. Maybe one of these days I'll post some of them or a compendium of them -- which chronicles the past year in my head -- but let's hope not.

That aside I am gonna post this because for some reason when I first saw it I was laughing so hard I cried.

You'll notice that this is more than tangentially related to my new posting name. I realize that this is paramount to explaining the joke and I hate doing that but in this case I just have to.

ChiMo FTMFW

I fucking love this comic strip. Of course I'm down with fucked up humor and the fact that they have no boundaries but what I really like is their style. I don't get the feel that they set out to be offensive -- it's not that they're trying to force it, it's that they just don't care. Okay, maybe you could say they make special effort when Depressing Comic Week rolls around. Either way the strip rules.

OK so just on principle this site is awesome. I have only started exploring it but at bare minimum you must check out "Choir Invaders" and "Tickle Me Jesus."

OK so this is kinda random but when I first came across this I thought it said "stew."

OK, so I'm trying to figure out WTF to do with this blog. I've been mostly unmotivated to post, as you can see. And then when I fucking try to post, Blogger tells me, no bitch, your shit be spam. Well fuck.

Anyway, I'm thinking I should blog more now that ETP and BOETP are in the middle of fucking nowhere in the deep south and this is one way to keep in contact with them. Of course, we have Failbook, but I think it's gonna take ETP awhile to adapt to FB and its shitty interface.

In the meantime, I'll just try to post some random shit, as usual. For instance, via Cracked, Retro Comedy has put together a list of what they feel are the 15 creepiest vintage ads of all time.

Another mindless, entertaining site full of pics. This one in particular deserves special mention, but there are shitloads more.

And one more quick hitter.

And in keeping with the misery thing...

That's funny. Courtesy of motivationalz.com.

If you are here (and not just because of some Google search you made 'cause you're a pedophile) you are either miserable and/or you like to see misery in action. Along those lines, fmylife.com. Why they're so afraid to just write out "fuck" however is beyond me.

Another new webcomic: Cyanide and Happiness. Pretty much all just quick hitters full of any goofy or crude or offensive thing that they feel like joking about (like cancer). You know, sophistocated shit.

Dudes. I've got a handful of shit that I've been too lazy to post but this is so epic I gotta get it out there. I present to you the official CafePress store of North Korea. Take a look at some of those designs -- that shit is fucking harsh.

Also be sure to check out the DPRK's official website.

Came across all this via a Cracked article which pretty much lays out why we never should have been worried about North Korea in the first place.

Suck it, liberals!

Okay yeah this is coming from a comedy writer who has also taken it upon himself to call out a Nobel Prize winner but c'mon, there are still some good points in there even if there are faults with others. If nothing else I'm on board because I always thought the whole organic food thing was bullshit (personally I prefer my food to be non-carbon-based anyway).

We thank thee O Lord that in thy mercy thou hast bestowed upon us Dick.

Fucking awesome new webcomic discovery: The Adventures of Dr. McNinja. The current running storyline is here, and archived storylines here. The "So What Is A McNinja?" storyline also has one of the best lines ever from anything.