I still don't see any of this as relevant. For me, campaign season doesn't offically start until the candidates begin rolling out allegations of child molestation and fathering illegitimate children of mixed race.

New rule: if you're going to parade around untalented teenage girls, making me look at and listen to them (however accidentally), make sure they're hot. I'm tired of this shit. There's no bigger waste of time than unattractive teenage poon. While we're at it, fuck April Lavigne. Hillary Düff also needs to be hotter.

I'm posting this link just because I find no end to the amusement of a guy named "John Lardass" who's a McDonald's franchisee. Okay, okay, his last name is Lardas, but you just know he's gotten shit over that.

Yeah, the next leap for rich mankind. This is bound to get worse than those wealthy cocksuckers who feel the need to fly around the world in their fucking balloons.

More happy news. A few things.

I don't understand why people actually go work over in the Mid East. Okay, well, actually I do. Some people over there do it because they're getting paid more for it due to the inherent danger involved. Some people, I would imagine, actually are there with a genuine desire to help others. I'm not saying that any of these people "had/have it coming" (okay, well, maybe some of them), but there's really no surprise when it happens.

In the end, I don't feel too much sympathy for the "victims," since they know up front what they're getting themsevles into. Plus, once they die, at least the ordeal is over for them. Harsh but true, unless potentially if that whole "Heaven/Hell" thing is true, which, let's face it, it probably isn't. The ones I do feel some sympathy for are the families, since for them, the ordeal is just beginning. They now have to deal with what their loved once decided to put them through. So yeah, sympathy there, except for people like Daniel Pearl's wife, who's just a money-grubbing bitch.

Whenever this shit goes down, the inevitable string of token lines and bullshit posturing is sure to begin. Nonsense like "We will not be intimidated" and declaring it an "action of barbarism." Barbarism? I dunno, beheading someone sounds pretty civilized to me. Of course it's fucking barbaric. But what good does it do to say that every fucking time? Everyone keeps acting as if continually repeating those lines is going to somehow shame these people into stopping what they're doing. "Hey, everyone, the Infidels' prison bitch said that beheading that guy was an 'action of barbarism.' That makes me feel really bad. We should knock it off. No more of this jihad shit, okay?"

After ReaganBukkake 2004 last week, it's nice to see Ray Charles get some love. I still don't care for the late singer's economic policies, though.

The E.U. has agreed on a new constitution.

Another amusing comic: Sutton Impact. The Villgae Voice's website has an archive of comics, but if you want to look at ones from before those in the "Recent Sutton Impact columns" section, you're going to have to start manually typing in URLs (unless if there's a convenient "archive" link I'm blind to). Site for Sutton Impact Studios here.

Then there's this. Not exactly hard-core evidence of the imminent Saddam-induced horror we were told about right before the war, but still helping to keep things interesting. Why would Putin be bothering to say this now?

Fuck you, Dick Cheney. Fuck you in your rusted, rural, wrinkled, Wyoming asshole. Oh, you had no qualms with the media eating up your shit when they followed along with the whole WMD thing, did 'ya? No, that was fine. But when they disagree with you, suddenly they're lazy and irresponsible.

Dick Cheney: biggest fucking piece of shit EVER.

All this shit, and when I say shit I mean to invoke the imagery of feces, all this shit coming from Cheney's mouth is full of "no fucking shit" moments. Yeah, no fucking shit the media is lazy and irresponsible. Maybe if the media did their goddamn job we could have gotten rid of these fuckers a long time ago.

And no fucking shit al Qaeda members met with members of Saddam's regime. We've known this for how long? The administration wants to have it both ways - and they're getting their way. They want to do everything they can to convince people that Iraq was part of 9/11 without coming out and saying it. People are so dumb here, though, that they'll believe shit like that even when Bush or Cheney come out and say that there was no known involvement. Pretty neat deal for the administration, and props to them for successfully exploiting American stupidity like this.

Of course, there's one of the keys to their whole Iraq/9/11 deal. No known links. Just because we don't know of any evidence doesn't mean that it's not there. You know, just like with those WMDs. And yes, that certainly could be the case. But when it comes down to shit that you're getting involved in wars over, you may want to be a little more thorough than just assuming your assumptions are correct. That's, to say the least, pretty fucking irresponsible.

Here's a question: why the fuck would Osama want or need Saddam's help in 9/11? He fucking hated Saddam. Sure, war makes strange allies, but it's not like Osama was hurting. He had plenty of money, manpower, and organization all on his own to pull off 9/11. Why the fuck bother getting anyone else involved if you don't need to?

But none of this fucking matters. The administration doesn't give a shit. They're fighting their ideological wars and getting away with it without anyone taking a serious look at what they're doing, nonetheless doing anything to put a stop to it. Their rich corporate buddies are getting richer off of fat no-bid contracts. Everyone wins. Oh, except for those of us who will be dying in the years to come thanks to all this shit.

Google search:

FUCK EVERYTHING POEMS ABOUT LIFE

Despite all of the stupid pretentious bullshit you can find here at Fe, poetry is conspicuously absent. I'll give you an example of why. This here is the only good poem I ever wrote:

Roses are red
violets are blue
You're pretty hot
so I'll screw you

You can't steal that, because it's mine. Shitty, but mine.

Another horrible story that appears to have been brought on by nothing but sheer stupidity.

That's okay - stupid people (read: Americans) will continue to believe that Iraq played a big role in September 11th.

If you can't get two groups of people to come together and ogle teenage girls in bathing suits, I don't think there's any hope for peace.

How the hell Karl Malone supposed to shoot squirrels if they won't give him a god damn gun?

I don't give a shit either way about basketball, except for when it's interrupting or pre-empting something I actually give a shit about. As I always like to say, basketball is for losers. Still, I think it's pretty fucking hillarious that the Lakers didn't win. I like Lakers head coach Philipp and all, but the comedic value of the Lakers losing - in such humiliating fashion, no less - is just too much. Fuck Kobe and fuck Shaq. And fuck Karl Malone and Gary Payton - they're never getting their championships.

Literally

Fucking the Bush twins is going to be harder than I thought. Because, you know, if you take the Secret Service agents out of the equation, I am so in.

Asscroft.

Hartford

Good news for The Whale, Ariel Sharon.

After that Guardian article, I've started going through Ted Rall's comic archives. Pretty amusing stuff. I love the art style which can only be described as "shitty." My favorite comic so far is the one on Pat Tillman. This one also made me laugh harder than it needed to.

Yeah, maybe we're not as divided as we're told we are, but we're still pretty divided. Oh, and totally fucked.

"When one of society's deepest divisions is over stem cells, that society is pretty unified."

I think we've still got some pretty deep divisions besides stem cell reasearch. Yeah, things are improved in many ways over where we once were, but just because progress has been made doesn't mean that we're anywhere near where we should be.

You just wouldn't expect something like this from a company as reputable as Enron. Good thing Enron wasn't in bed with any of our most important leaders; that would have been a huge mess.

I wish some of our major news outlets had the balls to print the word cocksucker.

More people with some street cred pissed at Bush.

Scoreboard, bitch

After ReaganOrgy 2004 last week, I was just going to leave that topic alone unless something of interest came up. But I'm going to hammer on it a little more, just because I know how much someone likes the Reagan chat. That someone has some work to do for me in the underage poon department, if I recall correctly. I still have cash.

We're just lucky that a rift didn't open in the space-time continuum over this, sucking in and destroying everything.

"Over eight years, it was clear that Bill Clinton loved the job of the presidency. He filled this house with energy and joy."

You know what? Fuck it - it's just too easy. I'm leaving that one alone.

Question: where are these portraits going to hang? Does the White House have a basement? If not, they'll probably make one just for these portraits. I can't think of anything that the neocons would hate more than wandering the White House and having to look at Bill and Hillary's mugs. That thought also puts a smile on my face.

So yeah, that figures. As always, we've been over this a million times before. I'm all for getting rid of the stupid "under god" reference, but "under god" isn't the problem. "In God we Trust" isn't the problem. The problem isn't that we have things that are crossing the line of government establishment of religion, the problem is that we crossed that line a long time ago and we've been bullshitting ourselves and everyone else ever since. Oh, yeah, we have separation of church and state, wink wink. This is a Christian nation. Period. Oh, of course, they'll never come out and say it. They'll never pass a law or set it in stone anywhere (unless you're Roy Moore), but if you've been paying ANY attention whatsoever, you know what the fuck's up.

Now of course, that doesn't mean that we don't have religious liberties. We obviously do. But Christianity is like the favored child of the religious family. Oh, of course, you love all your children equally, but some children are loved more equally than others. No other religion comes close to the power or influence or favoritism that Christianity enjoys in this country. The Christian religious right is, you know, really fucking active in politics. They pump a lot of money and effort into the system, and they get quite a bit back out. So many of our leaders, right up to the ostensible man in charge, Dubya, openly endorse Christianity. Yeah, sounds real fucking separate to me. And this is just scratching the surface.

Shit, just take a look at the phrase "separation of church and state." Now, Christians don't have a monopoly on the word "church" (see: Church of Satan, although they're of course calling it that just to piss of the Xtians), and I do understand that "church" is being used in a very vague and general sense. But the word "church" does still have a strong attachment to Xtianity, and I think it's pretty telling if we have to make a concerted effort to separate church from state.

If we're not a Christian nation, then riddle me this, Batman: what do you think the odds are of us electing a non-Christian president anytime soon? Or how about the chances of revoking the church's tax-exempt status. Zero and zero. Getting rid of "under god," which of course wasn't even originally in the pledge, would be a nice start towards having true separation of church and state. But we have a long way to go before we're, to turn a phrase, practicing what we preach.

Today's Penny Arcade put a smile on my face.