It's a chicken!

Okay, I seriously am not posting this link because the story involves sex with an underage girl. For various reasons I'm trying to knock that shit off, but I doubt I'll be very successful. At any rate, I need to talk about some other shit.

"... the Fundamental Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints..."

I apparently was not up to speed on the Mormons, as I didn't realize that there was a fundamentalist sect of them running around out there. I guess I just thought that all of them were into the multiple wives thing. Either way, regular Mormons are fucking nuts as it is. I'm sorry, but that's all there is to it. Hey, I've known a good one or two of them, and that's an adequate sample population if I ever saw one. Seriously, all I needed to see was the family of this one girl we were friends with in high school. If I thought it would piss off enough people, I'd go into it.

Well, okay. So check this out. They put on this front of being a pretty happy family and all that shit. Then it gets to one point where her dad was cheating on her mom with this total flake who, fuck, was she a stripper? I can't even remember the whole ordeal. Needless to say, a divorce ensued. Her dipshit dad went off and did his thing, and her mom ended up getting together with this guy who was like 15 years younger than her. Of course, she wasn't exactly upfront with how young he was with her kids, and it wasn't until our friend went and snooped and looked at his driver's license that everyone found out just how young he was. It's not like anyone gave a shit; her mom was pretty cool and rather hot, so we were like, more power to 'ya if you want a younger guy. Like Wanda Sykes once said, of you can't find a good man, raise one. Anyway, he was uncomfortable around kids his own age. He earned the nickname of "Junior" with us.

Our friend was a good Mormon girl. I guess. She wouldn't do the caffeine thing, wouldn't smoke, shit like that. But once the shit started to hit the fan with her parents, it was on. All of a sudden she was trying out booze, and cigarettes, and Pepsi, and just generally going against everything she claimed to believe. So that was definitely entertaining. Prior to all this I had developed a pretty big crush on her, knowing full well that it was a mistake since she was crazy well before her parents' marriage hit the rocks. But I couldn't help it; she was cute -- despite having those mormon teeth -- and we got along rather well. Unfortunately for me, however, her "Mormon Girl Gone Wild" phase did not include dating guys she considered "second rate garbage." Like I said, I knew what I was getting myself into with that racket.

Okay, so I hadn't intended to start giving some insight into why I'm so damaged on certain fronts, so let's get back to how fucked up the mormons are.

Members believe a man must marry at least three wives in order to ascend to heaven.

This sounds reasonable. If you have the patience to put up with one woman bitching at you for the rest of your life -- nonetheless three -- you deserve some kind of reward once you're put down.

The sect dominates the towns of Colorado City, in Arizona, and Hildale, in Utah, less than a mile away.

Why is Colorado City in Arizona? I don't care if the river runs through there; that's stupid. And is Donna Reed one of these people? Hey, the town might have dropped an "L" over the years.

And, uh, I guess that's really it. Mormons are scary, and the idea of Fundamental Mormons is even scarier.

Oh, I guess I could talk about polygamy, but it really boils down to the fact that I don't care, and I don't see why anyone else should either, except that they're dumb. "It'll destroy the foundation of" shut the fuck up. If you really want multiple women nagging you or you want to share your husband with other women, you go right ahead. I could give a shit.

"Yeah, and I heard that the whole Osmond family, is a bunch of morons."
- Beavis

Be sure and read this before or after a large meal.

I still need to look into getting a new box and setting up my own RAID.

Google search:

rave mix inspector gadget free download

This one has me kinda curious -- if anyone can shoot me a link to this, I would be much obliged.

It's official: having to listen to Christina Arrugala is torture. The only thing that I can think of that's more inhumane is forcing someone to look at her. And of course, I'm talking post-"Genie in a Bottle" video. It's sad to see someone go from that to, well, Orc. Actually, I think I'd still rather fuck an Orc -- no telling what Christina has growing down there.

The Pentagon said Kahtani's interrogation was conducted by "trained professionals," and yielded "valuable information" about al Qaeda and its leader, Osama bin Laden.

Wow, I'll bet it was because of this guy that we were finally able to capture Osama and shut his terrorist network down for good.

"The important thing here to understand is that the people that are at Guantanamo are bad people," Cheney said.

Yes, and they're all such bad people that they were held until they were swiftly convicted of committing a crime. None of them are ever let go after a decision has been made that they have nothing. I know, I know, it's different with these guys than it is with common criminals. And national security is at stake! To quote Captain Picard: "Ahhh, internal security. The age old cry of the oppressor." You always know that you have a strong argument when you play the Star Trek quote card.

The Pentagon described the document in Time as a "compromised classified interrogation log," and said it had notified appropriate congressional committees.

Well, if this is all they had to say, then at least it's some kind of implicit admission that what's going on in terms of torture is just policy. Honestly, I don't know if I'm all that upset about the whole torture thing. I mean, yeah, it's pretty uncivilized, but you know, it could be worse (and I doubt anything worse is going on; stuff like that never escalates). If they'd just cop to it that would make it a bit better. And if nothing else, I'm desensitized to it because we all know it's going on, and it's not like we will or even can do anything real to stop it. We can do the good lil' liberal thing by protesting and sending our letters, but it won't do a fucking thing to put an end to it.

The hypocrisy of it all is definitely irritating. Yeah, when it comes to certain "bad people," we'll bend the rules. We won't afford others the rights and treatment that we give ourselves. That always looks pretty good when you're looking to gain credibility, which of course we aren't. And of course, this opens the door for them to expand these little policies outside of the terrorist prison camps. All they need is some kind of "He's comin' right for us!" type of argument, and off they go.

Right now, I think it'd be a good play for TB to close the Guantanamo Bay prison camp. It'd be a great PR move, because then people would be all uppity over thinking that they accomplished something. Of course, the prisoners aren't just going to be let go, and they'll be quietly moved somewhere that's lower profile or just totally secret so that shit can continue.

"What did she have down there? An aluminum bat? A piece of rebar?"
- JFR's comment when Arrugala was stopped after setting off an airport metal detector thanks to a piercing you-know-where (and by "you-know-where" I mean her pussy, if you know what I mean)

Wow. This is fucked up. Hey, when something awful like that happens to you, I think you get a pass to be fucked up. But yeah, that doesn't change the fact that it's fucked up. Link via this new Fe linker.

Lipstick?

Not Proud Confession:

I like to dress up my vagina. I put lipstick and bows on it. I like pink. I shave all but just a little for the bow. My husband loves it.

Hey, you do what you gotta do.