Google search:

eminem sexing a donkey

I'll betcha that this will have all those dumb fucks screaming "Oscar! Oscar!" again. But seriously, I think we'd all like to see this. Then again, if 8 Mile is any indication, even Eminem could make Eminem fucking, errrr, sexing a donkey boring. Except for when he gets into a rap battle with the donkey.

Aw hell no... I did not leave the South Side for this.

Honey, you're making all of us sick. How can a person not get ill knowing how hot Lindsay Lohan used to be, and how hot she isn't now? Quit dying your hair stupid colors, quit throwing up, quit making your skin orange, quit wrecking your Mercedes, quit driving a Mercedes while you're at it, and quit thinking you need a singing career to be like Hillary Düff who really needs to be hotter. You really need to be hotter, too, but the annoying thing is that you started out hot. Lindsay, go watch Mean Girls, and then go back to being that hottie.

Speaking of Mean Girls, if you haven't seen that movie, you too need to see it. That movie is pretty fucking great, and Tim Meadows is beyond bad-ass in it. You may think that this paragraph is all sarcasm, but seriously dude, it isn't.

One ounce at a time

Google search:

mastubation and losing weight

Okay, to start the new year off on a lame foot, I just got a bunch of search hits that pissed me off.

little april fuck

If you want to see Little April fucking, why don't you just go to her goddamn website? Relax -- every indication I have is that she's legal, even if she doesn't look it. If you're like me, that's neat. A girl in braces is hot. Except this one fucking cunt we knew who ruined an ex-friend of ours. But that's a story I've been meaning to get to for almost three years.

I've been known to fuck up everything.

Join the club.

sasha cohen masturbate

Don't I wish. Do you really think you'll find this out there, moron?

trent reznor's kids

He had better not.

5'7" 125 lbs porn

I'm sick and fucking tired of the specificity if search hits. I can understand wanting some kind of range when it comes to age, height, weight (no fat chicks), whatever, but you have to have these exact specs? You're an asshole.

fuck you fuck everything you stand for

Ha ha ha, fuck you, you stupid Slipknot loving retard. I only hope that every time some imbecile comes to this site due to that query (or a similar one), I hope that they read the whole post where I ridicule Slipknot and their fans.