This is several days old, but it nicely sums up why I have a difficult time getting behind John McCain. The guy obviously wants us to think he's all hardcore and shit like the McLean Deluxe, but he just pusses out way too much. Just imagine what a bad-ass he'd look like if he had really been a rebel all these years and gone against Bush more. If anyone has had a right to hate Bush and tell him to go fuck himself it's McCain, and he should have rolled with that since the 2000 campaign.

On the D side, hey guys and gals, you go ahead and put up Hillary or Obama or both (my favorite idea so far) and see where that gets you. Hillary is, well, Hillary, someone even a lot of Democrats have trouble getting on board with. I just can't stand her transparent attempts to cast off her liberal reputation. It'd be great to have a female president, but Hillary might not be the best choice when it comes to breaking through that particular barrier.

And Obama? Look, I'd also love to see a black president, but at this point I just don't think it's gonna happen. A black guy up for president would bring every fuckin' racist out of the woodwork to vote against him. The whole goddamn south is guaranteed to be solid bloody red. I hope maybe I'm just being too cynical, and the guy does have some skills after all. But with as racist as this country still is, I'd say it's a pretty big gamble right now.

Another strike against Obama: Hustler questioned his liberal street cred in their "Asshole of the Month" column recently, and we all know that Larry Flynt is where to turn when you want to know what's up (or if you want a bunch of skanks with gigantic fake tits and neverending left-wing blabber... yes, my opinion of Larry has shifted in recent times).

If nothing else, can people stop referring to Obama as a "rising star" already? That shit is fucking played out.

Right now I like the idea of Rudy Giuliani, or at least someone Giuliani-esque, becoming president. You know, a guy who's Republican, but not fucking psycho like these neocon bastards. Someone socially liberal but fiscally conservative (dunno if that really means anything, but we all love to throw around that phrase because it sounds cool).

I say this assuming congress stays Democrat, because I'm liking the whole divided government thing. So a flop with an R congress and D president could achieve that as well. It doesn't really make things spectacular or anything, but it beats that whole imbalance nonsense we'd seen for the past six years. And even if part or all of congress went back the R way, a Republican who might actually argue with congress would be a step up from Bush. Of course, many of us think that just about anything would be a step up from Bush, and it's that kind of desperate mentality that gave us a douchebag like John Kerry last time. Thank Christ that cocksucker isn't trying again, eh?

Here are a couple of random articles involving a pair of geniuses. First up is this guy, who doesn't have a gambling problem or anything. Then there's this kid, who for his sake hopefully has a big cock, otherwise he's for sure gonna want to find himself a new school.

Not that we really need it, but here's today's reminder as to how stupid religion is.

If The Police, the second-best band of the 80s (you know who the best is) are thinking about hanging out again, then this is as good a time as any to re-set this Onion article.