I've gotten some interesting and amusing spam subjects, but tonight was the first time that I got a spam from an interesting domain: nosehairpianos.com. My guess is that they were advertising a certain website, namely www.clownpenis.fart.

Onegai Santa.

Oh, yeah, and in case it wasn't fully implied by the title of this site, fuck everyone.

Another interesting search:

Saddam doujinshi

Yeah, bitch! We're gonna hunt Osama Saddam so we can eliminate Iraqi Libyan WMD!

Gadhafi approached us? Huh? Yeah, I'm real sure he did this out of the goodness of his heart.

But, hey, yet another excuse to dredge up 9/11, as if we had forgotten about it.

And, yeah, for those keeping score, this is apparently not one of those days where I'm in a mood and looking to shut the site down.

And while we're on the subject of advertisements, here's another series that's pissing me off.

"When they ask you why you fell asleep at your babysitting job, just tell them it's because you were stoned."

"When she asks you why you didn't pick her up for the prom, just tell her you couldn't do it because you were high."

The punchline to all these ads is "Responsibility: Your anti-drug."

Fuck you, assholes. You know what my anti-drug is? Not doing drugs.

I don't do drugs because I don't want to. Despite going to a school fairly well stereotyped for schooling a bunch of potheads, I've never done shit. Maybe that's because I'm stupid, and it's definitely because I'm a stiff.

When it comes to these ads, I got it, all right? You don't need to try and sell me on this, because I made up my mind ALL ON MY OWN. And I suspect that pretty much everyone else is going to do much the same, whether they choose to do drugs or not. But odds are no one is going to be swayed one way or the other based on what the "Partnership for a drug-free America" told them.

I've ranted about ant-drug ads before and how much I hate them. They piss me off for several reasons. First, I don't think that they do fucking shit to stem the use of drugs. Furthermore, in many cases, I don't think that we should be wasting all this money to stem the use of drugs. I don't give a shit if a lot of people do drugs, as long as there's no violent crime involved and they're not fucking with anyone else as a result.

A lot of this stuff should just be legalized. I mean, if alcohol is legal, then some illicit drugs should be. Once again, though, pot doesn't have the money and influence that tobacco and alcohol do. As such, I'm stuck listening to ads that are completely irrelevant to both me and everyone else in the fucking world.

While we're on the subject of guys, here's another company I'm sick of hearing ads for. Again, the ads aren't that annoying, but the concept is. There's a chain of hair cutting places called "Sport Clips" or something like that. The idea here is that they have sports and shit on TV for guys to watch while they get their hair cut.

Guys, can you not pull yourself away from the game for 30 minutes to get your fuckin' hair cut? If nothing else, schedule your goddamn haircut around the important games. Jesus.

You see, this is why I just can't get into "guy culture." You know, the sports watching, beer swilling, ugly Coors twins ogling guys.

Yes, I just got through a rant on Major League Baseball. Yes, I had subscriptions to Maxim and FHM for a long time. The thing is, all that shit was fun for awhile. It was fun to get really invested in sports. Maxim was a cool magazine. But then we turned 7.

Like usual, I'm being a hypocritical, elitist asshole, but it's not like that isn't expected. I've got my pursuits that many would consider stupid and pointless, like, oh, collecting toys. But at least I don't need my haircutting place to be selling me toys while I'm getting my bloody hair cut.

Besides, it's not like CostCutters is going to sell me quality import toys, anyway.

Okay, so when listening to JFR, I keep hearing ads for Sky Fighters of Denver. It's this company that lets you get into a fighter plane and play out a simulated dogfight.

Well, I'm not sure just how "fighter" these fighter jets are, but they're like T-34 jets. I'm no expert on military hardware, but my guess is that the T-34 isn't top of the line. Also, the ads claim that you do "90% of the flying." Clearly, it's not the important 90% that you are allowed to handle. Things are further cemented when they say that "no prior flight experience is necessary!" Yeah, if you have no prior experience, then you aren't doing anything useful in that cockpit.

Yeah, this might be a cool thing to do, or it might just be another excuse for guys to feel more manly than they really are.

Unless if you're one of about three Americans, you hate baseball. And if you're not one of those three, you will give as much of a shit about this post as the last. Nonetheless, we do it anyway.

There's been this huge deal in the works for the Boston Red Sox to trade Manny Ramirez to the Texas Rangers in exchange for Alex Rodriguez. Apparently, on Wednesday, both teams had struck a deal that both teams were happy with. In addition, A-Rod was happy with the deal as well (he has a no-trade clause and as such has to approve any trade involving him). Issue over, right?

Wrong.

The players' union stepped in and 86ed the deal, claiming that it lowered the value of A-Rod's contract. Which, apparently, it did, but A-Rod was going to be compensated for that loss in pay in other ways (endorsements, hookers, etc.). A-Rod is currently sitting on the biggest contract in pro sports history, so it's not like he was going to really miss the money. This was evidenced by the fact that he approved the fucking deal that the union torpedoed.

Commissioner Bud Selig could have overruled the union and let the deal go forward, but instead just set a deadline which expired yesterday.

As such, A-Rod remains with the Rangers, and Man Ram remains with the BoSox. This is fucking weak.

Now, I don't really care about the Rangers or the Sox, but this trade would have been good for baseball. How could it not? A-Rod is one of the most talented players in the game, talent that is going to waste with the Rangers who are never going to win anything. The Sox have already made some huge deals in the offseason, and this would have been the icing on the cake. They got close to the Series this year, and they're looking strong to go all the way next year. Adding Rodriguez would have cemented that. It would have had Steinbrenner, owner of the Yankees, shitting himself. Okay, he wouldn't be shitting himself, but only because he's George Steinbrenner.

Now, I don't really give a shit about what happens to the Sox, but it would be kinda cool to see them actually win it all. Yeah, I'd be jealous if they lifted their curse when my Cubs didn't, but let's face it, the Cubs are never gonna lift their curse, so fuck it. And if I think it's interesting, just imagine how exciting this could be for other baseball fans, many who actually do give a shit about the Sox.

Now, though, all you've got is a bunch of players who were going to be shipped out but aren't. At this point, it looks like they're going to be playing for the same teams as last year. A-Rod and Man Ram are, of course, the obvious players who will be dealing with this. Then there's Nomar Garciaparra, longtime shortstop of the Red Sox. You see, for those not in the know (i.e. you don't care), A-Rod is also a shortstop. As such, had the A-Rod for Man Ram deal went through, Nomar would have been traded somewhere else.

So here's what we've got. Alex Rodriguez wants the hell out of Texas. Nomar knows that the Sox would be willing to get rid of him if they could. And Man Ram, well, if he's the nutcase people are making him out to be, who knows what he's thinking. Still, three of the game's biggest names have been put in a shitty position.

I can't fucking believe that such a picture perfect deal, one that would have benefited everyone, isn't going to happen. A deal that everyone seemed to agree on, I might add. One that would have pleased baseball fans in general. And the deal is dead. That's just fucking stupid.

This is yet another thing that's wrong with baseball. Amidst declining attendance and whatnot, we have something that might help to spark a new interest in the game, and they fuck it up. The fucking lawyers and the dumbass commissioner either actively do something to ruin it, or they stay passive and don't push things forward. Thanks for nothing, cocksuckers.

Some kind of deal could still go through, but it's not looking promising. Even if it does go through, it should not have been this complicated. And if it doesn't go through, there's just no fucking excuse.

Why don't you assholes just get it over with and introduce aluminum bats already? That way pitchers can start getting killed (literally), but scoring will go up, people will care less, and no one will show up for games. That's where we're headed, so let's just get there and be done with it.

As if this saga wasn't bad enough for us Cubs fans, it was a fucking lawyer who got his hands on it and sold it at auction? There is no fucking justice in this goddamn shitty world. None.

Stories like this are always fascinating to me. I don't really believe in ghosts or the supernatural, but at the same time, I don't have any conclusive proof that all that stuff doesn't exist. Strangely enough, that also sums up a lot of my feelings on god and religion. Really, all that stuff is nothing but a bunch of goofy animal and ghost stories anyway. Might be true, might not.

"Look, I know the supernatural is something that isn't supposed to happen but it does happen"
- I can't remember what this is originally from, but it's sampled on White Zombie's Astro Creep 2000

"Yes, have some"
- Vince Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer

Highlight of the day:

We had a little office pot luck Christmas party today, which people were encouraged to bring their families to. As part of the celebration, there was a game whereby people brought in gifts, and then everyone drew numbers to determine when they got to pick a random gift from the gift pool. Both the adults and kids played the game, and as such, there were some kids gifts and some adult gifts (no, not that kind of "adult").

There was some amusing gift swapping going on (that was part of the game), but hands down the best moment was when one of the little kids picked out and unwrapped a CD of Barry White's Greatest Hits.

I take it that this Yahoo searcher was a bad boy or girl this year:

less than zero fuck christmas

Yeah, Fuck Everything: The Book would be neat, but it's not gonna happen. Let's face it; this piece of shit is not WWDN, one of my inspirations for getting into this mess.

The combined effort idea is an interesting one, though, and it's something that I've thrown around in my head before. I've been wanting to get together a group of 'bloggers and do some sort of collaborative effort. Maybe call ourselves the "Coalition of the Mostly Willing" or something like that.

Since I keep going through brief phases where I just want to quit doing Fe entirely, I've considered starting a new 'blog instead, one that would be a collaborative effort that contained posts from lots of different 'bloggers. I'd keep Fe around and still remain the sole poster since despite how much I malign this piece of shit, it's still MY piece of shit, and I'm very territorial when it comes to my stuff. Shit (not literally) or otherwise. However, in addition, we'd have the other 'blog, which includes bullshit from me as well as bullshit from other people. This would allow me to maybe step back things at Fe when I'm going through those moods, but still feel like I'm contributing something.

This would require some coordination and communication with other people, so, yeah, we'll see how far that idea goes.

Because America has a huge cock.

Okay, that's enough obscure Bill Maher references for the day.

Yeah, so this post will officially make me a whore. But a willing whore nonetheless.

It's time to get all democratic and shit and go vote for kindofcrap.com in the Asia 'blog awards. The best site about mutual student/teacher abuse and other amusing anecdotes from Japan is nominated in two major categories: Funniest Blog and Best Japanese Blog.

The race is pretty tight in both categories, but there's no excuse for Galvin's site not winning because it kicks the ass out of the competition. And I full well know this having never visited the other 'blogs.

Incidentally, America is the greatest nation in the world.

Okay, wait, I lied, I visited one of those other sites (Galvin's competition in funniest blog) mainly because Galvin said there'd be some boobs there. But not even a picture of a girl with a nice body is enough to sway this voter. I have principles.

So, yeah, get your ass out there and vote. Consider it practice for next year, except in this election we have a chance of winning.

Also, if Galvin wins one or both of these categories, will he finally admit that his site is not just a web journal, but that it is indeed a web LOG?

For the maybe one or two people who give a shit about the Dokkoida wallpaper from a couple of posts back, I fixed the link.

Meanwhile, you can find lots of other anime wallpapers at the site I originally tried to link, which can be found under the "wallpapers" link here.

I think Krugman has been on vacation or something, because he hasn't had a column in awhile. Looks like he's back now, though.

Speaking of my favorite Times columnists, my would-be girlfriend Maureen Dowd has been MIA for awhile as well.

Why download this? Because it's there.

If you've nothing better to do (which must be the case if you're here), check out Galvin's Choose-Your-Own-Adventure-Non-Adventure.

Tough call. Listen to G Dubya Dumbass, or watch that cunt tramp Paris Hilton. Hmmm...

Well, I've got heroin. You wanna just fucking die instead?

Seriously, just throw downloading pictures of a naked Janet Reno into that mix, and you have a truly evil trifecta.

This whole constitutional amendment idea is fucking disgusting. They want to use the Constitution, amongst whose principles is separation of church and state, to enforce religious beliefs. That's wrong. No simpler way to put it.

"The position of this administration is that whatever legal arrangements people want to make, they're allowed to make, so long as it's embraced by the state or at the state level. Except and unless judicial rulings undermine the sanctity of marriage; in which case we may need a constitutional amendment."

Soooo... You're okay with states doing whatever they think is right, until they want to do something you disagree with? Is anyone else bothered by this hypocrisy?

Who knows what the fuck this person was searching for:

saddam noodles blasphemy

Meanwhile, we know exactly what this person was looking for, but I can't imagine why they thought they'd find it anywhere:

yuna naked screaming for more sex

Here's another hot tip from ANN:

Adult Swim will be featuring a New Years eve special, running from 11 p.m. to 2 a.m, that will not feature any Anime. This is probably because Anime fans have better things to do on New Years Eve.

Yeah, anime fans have better things to do on New Years alright. Like, uh, watching anime. Anime that's NOT DUBBED.

So everyone's familiar with t.A.T.u. You know, the two Russian hotties who occasionally dress as schoolgirls and make out, and, uhhh... Oh yeah, make some shitty music from time to time.

Anyway, yeah. Apparently, there's going to be an anime based on the pair. I'll probably watch it. Because, let's face it, this has all sorts of potential both for humor value and, um, other value.

Seriously, I'm not making this shit up. This is not just some nonsense coming from my sick fantasyworld. No, this news came my way courtesy of ANN, and, quite possibly, their sick fantasyworld.

Here's another thing that's been bugging me. They've confirmed that the guy they have in custody is Saddam. How do they know for sure? DNA tests, of course.

Where the fuck did they get Saddam's DNA? I doubt he volunteered any just before the war started. For that matter, where do they get the DNA of a lot of terrorists and criminals?

I'm probably just missing something simple, but where exactly in the hell are they getting all these bad guy DNA samples from?

In a shocker, Bush says he supports giving Saddam the death penalty.

As I said earlier, I'm in agreement with the death penalty position. What gets me is that someone actually felt the need to ask Bush and/or Bush felt the need to tell us. Considering that he has no problem with executing retarded people, I think it's pretty self-evident as to where he stands on punishing a brutal dictator who has been the scourge of his family and much of the world for quite some time now.

Spam of the day:

cum covered toons

Great, how the fuck are we supposed to watch these DVDs when they're covered in cum?

Or, alternatively, I may have coercedly fallen upon the shit those Inspector Gadget and Thundercats sickos were looking for.

Bitter Little Man:
YES YOU ARE!

Just when I thought there was no hope left for the hapless Democrats...

Man, how would you like the job of being Saddam's defense attorney? I mean, not only are you defending a fucking dictator, but the outcome of the trial has pretty much all but been determined. The only questions now are when does shit go down, and how does Saddam get punished. Jack McCoy could let some flunky low-level ADA prosecute this motherfucker with no worries. Maybe Saddam should just hire a Cardassian defense attorney - they're used to this pre-determined outcome shit.

Or better yet, wouldn't you just love it if Saddam hired Johnny Cochran? Yeah, me neither.

I love how the U.S. will go to the U.N. when we want resolutions against Iraq, but we unequivocally shut them out of the trial.

At the same time, fuck Kofi Annan, that fucking dumbass. Get off your high horse with this "no death penalty" bullshit. Despite being all super liberal or whatever, I'm a big fan of the death penalty. I mean, why not? Is the world gonna be any better off by keeping Saddam alive? Sure, it's not going to be any better if he's executed, but fuck it. That's what I say. Just dispose of him and be done with it.

Why don't they just get Nate Dogg and Warren G to handle things instead?

Yeah, but the real cruel and unusual punishment is actually making students eat that disgusting slop they call "food" in dorm cafeterias.

It's thanks to dorm food that I can't eat Top Ramen ever again. Ramen was a viable alternative to dorm food, which resulted in it being the majority of my meals which weren't sandwiches sophomore year. Yeah, I hit the cafeteria every now and then, which usually resulted in eating a burger which was dubious, but edible.

But holy Christ did my roommate and I eat a shitload of ramen. Mostly chicken flavor. We used to heat the noodles and water in these big plastic cups in the microwave, and my roommate informed me sometime after we moved out that he was never able to get that chicken broth scent out of those cups no matter how much he washed them.

Just to pass on another dorm food horror story, a friend supposedly saw crates of meat being delivered to the cafeteria one day. Stamped on the boxes was something like "Grade D Meat - For higher education and penitentiary use ONLY."

Lovely.

I don't know why, but it brings a smile to my face to read stories related to old, dead, racist fucks like this.

Oh, yeah, and also, there's a kinda-sorta-but-not-really big announcement coming up sometime in the near future. What "near-future" means is anyone's guess since, well, you know how it is around here.

I'm not trying to be a cock tease or anything, and just to dispel any sort of speculation I can tell you now that not a fucking thing is going to be changing here. It will still be the same bullshit posts and bullshitting about posts. We're just... Expanding into new enterprises, I guess you could say. Basically, the whole point of this post is to let a handful of people know that, no, I haven't forgotten that I have something I need to take care of. I just need to remember it sometime before 1 AM when it's already hours past when I should have gone to sleep.

Fuck, so it looks as if I missed yet another chance to not have sex with Sasha Cohen, as there was recently a figure skating event nearby in fucking Colorado Springs.

Yet another dream continues unfulfilled.

One thing I will never understand is why women who don't even know me keep asking me if I have a girlfriend. Okay, it's only been a few, but still. For someone who interacts socially with others as infrequently as I do, it's a significant number.

All you have to do it take about a half second to look at me before you can answer the question for yourself. And if you get to talking to me, then any doubts you shouldn't have even had will be removed. That's because you'll either get loudmouthed asshole "me" (the one you guys are familiar with), or, more likely, painfully shy and rather quiet "me."

Okay, I guess technically, they don't all "not know me." One person who keeps fucking asking the question that makes me want to just throw down with the razors right there is one of my grandmothers. But I've met her like four times in my entire life, and I don't even like her because she's kind of a flake, and a bitch. This is in sharp contrast to my other grandmother, who despite driving me nuts fucking kicks ass. But anyway, point being, I really don't know the first grandmother I mentioned, and I wish she'd stop asking, because the answer will always be the same.

I know what you might be thinking. "Hey, BLM, you fucking dumbass, maybe these women are interested in you." Yeah... no. One incident I can remember was my uncle's sister, who is kinda weird and was just asking because I'm beginning to think it's just something that women do. That, or it's the world's evil plot to make sure that I'm reminded of how much I suck.

Then there was this past weekend, where my co-workers and I went out for dinner. The dinner was company sponsored, so it was free, as in speech. Anyway, one of my co-worker's wives got to talking to me, and after a few minutes, I got the girlfriend inquiry. There was a nice twist this time, though, because then she starts talking up her sister who's apparently unmarried. From the sounds of it, she's trying to round up single guys for her sister, which I found amusing, especially since I apparently wasn't out of the running just yet. Of course, it was all just bullshit over-dinner conversation and nothing will come of it, but it was nice for six seconds since even my friends, the people who ostensibly think I have good qualities, have never tried hooking me up with anyone. That's partly because a good deal of my friends are social misfits like myself and know of no one to set me up with, but also because my friends are smart and they know that no woman is stupid enough or hard up enough to get stuck with me.

Also, as a side note, why the fuck is it that whenever an attractive woman actually gets to talking to me, she's attached? Like the wife from this weekend, or that one ex-cheerleader from that wedding about a month ago? God damn it. I know what it is - just one more funny joke making sure the bitter little man stays bitter.

Oh, and relax everyone. I'm not so self-centered as to think that the world in general or people in specific would actually take the time to try and piss me off personally. I know that ultimately, I have no girlfriend because I'm lazy, spineless, and have no confidence. And I'm ugly.

Anyway, this was partly just a post to be self-deprecating in a half-joking manner as I usually am, but also a post to ask: what up with that? Do any women out there do this asking about a girlfriend thing to guys they just met? If so, why? Why must you do this to us?

There are some new Get Your War On comics posted. A full page went up a few days ago, and there's also a quickie in reposnse to Sunday's news.

Okay, so there was another reason why I didn't comment on Saddam's capture yesterday. I'm taking his capture pretty hard, because I really liked the guy, and I'm sad to see his reign come to a complete end. I think everyone knows that I respect strength, and while Saddam was in charge, I think we can say that he had some strength. Harsh, oppressive rule and the murder of thousands. Invading other countries and starting wars. Man, was that ever cool.

Also, as we all know, I hate George W. Bush. And if I hate him, I plainly must love Saddam. That's logic that a four-year-old could wrap his mind around.

Alright, let's dispense with the sarcasm and jokes and get serious. If only for a minute.

Saddam's capture obviously answers a few questions. Like "Where the fuck is Saddam?" and "Are we ever gonna find Saddam?" Of course, there are also several more obvious questions that his capture raises. What does this mean for the Iraq war itself? What does this mean for reconstruction and the future of Iraq? What does this mean for TWAT? What does this mean for Dubya's presidency? Related to that last second question, what does this mean for the democrats in '04? And finally, with Lloyd Bridges dead and Saddam in custody, what does this mean for the future of the Hot Shots franchise?

Even us America-hating Saddam-loving liberals know that Saddam's capture is good news. Nowhere has anyone ever said that removing Saddam was a bad idea, nor is anyone (save him and his followers, of course) truly sorry to see him go. The guy is an asshole, which even four-year-olds can see.

Yesterday, Lieberman was out attacking Howard Dean and his anti-war stance. He said something to the effect of "If Howard Dean had his way, Saddam would still be in power." Fuck you, Joe. Like I've said before: getting rid of Saddam was a good thing, but it's not why we went in there. It's fortunate for the Hawks that Saddam was removed, otherwise they would have NO FUCKING WAY to sell a war that was waged for purely selfish reasons.

And if you don't think it wasn't entirely selfish, then why the hell aren't we working to stop other oppressive regimes out there? And I mean other than the Taliban - we had to strike back for 9/11 and Unocal had an oil pipeline to build. I'm talking about all the other shit that's going down in the world that we do nothing about.

People like Howard Dean who were and are anti-war don't oppose the war because they like Saddam and what he represents - they're just looking at other issues like, I dunno, is it a good idea to be fucking around with a country who has done nothing to us? Especially in such a volatile region?

So, yes, this is a great achievement. But it does not justify the war when looking at the premises for going to war, which centered around the notion of huge stockpiles of WMD that were going to threaten us and our allies.

Even us who hate Bush want to see the effort in Iraq succeed now that it's underway. Hopefully, Saddam's removal will be a step in driving that forward. We can't get too excited over it, though, because it is just one step. There's a lot more work to be done.

Just how big of a step is Saddam's capture? It's clearly a huge psychological boost for all those in Iraq who spent years living in fear of Saddam. One theory I've heard a lot is that people weren't supporting the American effort because they were afraid Saddam was watching, or others wouldn't give up WMD info because they were afraid Saddam would hunt them down and get revenge, etc. I'd be interested to see if any of that plays out.

I still don't think that we can expect for everyone to just fall in love with us, though, just because they know Saddam isn't coming back. It is possible for people to hate Saddam but still not want us there, so again, we can't get too excited.

We also have a great opportunity to really turn the reconstruction effort around. We have something we can build some goodwill off of. Please, guys, do not fuck this up. This is naturally being referred to as a "turning point," and it most definitely could be. Just so long as we don't fuck things up like we did with 9/11 when we had everyone's sympathy and support which we then proceeded to flush down the toilet.

One thing I don't view this as is a great victory in The War Against Terror (TWAT). Saddam is not Osama - you know, the guy who really did attack us, and who is still at large planning and carrying out more attacks. Naturally, this event will be played up as a huge victory in TWAT. Well, unless if it's shown that Saddam really did have significant ties to terrorist organizations, then this is a victory for the Iraqi people (assuming reconstruction goes well, that is - and we won't know the results for a very long time) and for PNAC, but not in the fight against terror.

Bush's approval ratings will no doubt go up because of this. For once, I can allow those polls to go up a little. The Administration said that they were going to find Saddam, and they followed through on that. Props to them for that, and even more props to the military and intelligence people who carried this out (yes, I hate when people pander to the troops, but they really are the ones who did this).

This, of course, will be overplayed and overhyped, and Bush will get more credit than he deserves. Finding Saddam does not change that he posed no imminent threat to us. It does not solve the conundrum of all those phantom WMD. And it alone does not pave the way for Iraq to become the promised land. I'll let those polls continue to rise if we see some of that real work taken care of and true progress made on the reconstruction front.

In the end, where does this leave the Democrats? Some people are viewing this event as making Democratic defeat next year a foregone conclusion. The fact that the Democrats are weak and unorganized nearly makes it that way, in my eyes at least, but finding Saddam should not alone destroy their hopes for next year. If they do allow this to bring them down, then they are no better than the Cubs in game six of this year's NLCS with the fan and the fly ball. The Cubs had no excuse for letting that one mishap destroy them. There were still several innings to go, and all of fucking game 7. If they couldn't come back from one fan interfering, then they weren't going to be tough enough to defeat the Yankees. The same goes for the Dems: if they can't man up and recover from this, then there's no way they can handle the Bush campaign war machine.

There's no excuse for letting this do irrevocable damage to the Democratic platform, because when you look at it, it in no way damages any of the Democrats' positions. Nothing has changed which contradicts what Democrats have been saying, and the Democrats need to stand firm on this shit and make sure that people see this.

Democrats who were opposed to fighting this war were against it because of the risks to American lives, international stability, and worldwide opinion of our country. As I pointed out above, this point of view does not implicitly mean that someone likes Saddam and isn't glad to see him go. For the anti-war crowd, just because we found Saddam doesn't mean that we weren't still lied to about Iraq posing an immediate threat to us. For both the anti-war and pro-war Democrats, just because we found Saddam doesn't change all the other fucked up shit that Bush is doing domestically.

Just because we found Saddam does not vindicate the entire Bush presidency.

That's pretty much all I wanted to hit - for now, at least. Or, that's all that I can remember for the time being.

Anyone wanna run around the country with me telling little kids that Free Willy is dead?

Despite how I may feel about many of his followers, I think Jesus, if he was a real person, was probably a good guy. Just not the son of God. Oh, and he totally would have been into Kart.

As far as Google searches go, this is a new one:

he-man and the castle of grayskull porn

What is with all this 80s cartoon themed porn? What the fuck kind of childhoods did these people guys have, anyway? Was He-Man a real person, and once his cartoon run ended he decided to get into the adult film industry? Is there some fucked up Inspector Gadget doujinshi (er, I guess that's not really an appropriate term, but you know what I mean) out there? And are those Thundercats porn people really just closeted bestiality fans who just can't come to grips with their fetish?

I mean, there's hentai, and then there's taking Saturday morning and turning it into an orgy. I'm still wondering what these people are expecting to find. Maybe there actually is something to find out there, and if that's the case, I'd rather stay in the dark. If there really are pictures of "penny getting fucked by gadget," I don't wanna goddamn know about it, OK? So just keep it to yourself.

What's next? "GI Joe Destro anally raping Scarlet" or something like that? Well, now that I've mentioned GI Joe and anal rape in the same sentence, probably.

Undoubtedly everyone is expecting me to say something about the big news of the day. Well, relax, I've got some shit to say alright. I've just been busy all day doing stuff like moving the Girls into their new home (a nice display case). So yeah, we'll get to that Saddam thing tomorrow. Maybe.

Until then, I'll leave you with a couple of tidbits that most of you could give less than a shit about.

Quote of the weekend:

"Yeah, you're gonna get approved for a loan!"
- Carl handles 19 year-olds with shitty credit.

Also, I'm blatantly stealing a link from I Have no Life Guy. If you wanna give yourself nightmares tonight, or any other night for that matter, check out the gallery on this page.

Holy shit.