Even though the crisis is many years behind us, I'm still going to renew my call for round-the-clock, border-to-border saturation bombing of Rhythm Nation.

I'm posting this link to an old Penny Arcade just because ETP and I were laughing our asses off over this earlier in the morning in an alcoholic haze.

Edited South Park. What's the fuckin' point?

I do find it amusing that SP has been renewed for two more 15-episode seasons after Trey Parker and Matt Stone's assertions years ago that they didn't want to be "doing pigfucker jokes when we're 40." Hey, I don't blame them, and I'm glad they're doing it. I just like to drag that quote out every chance I get because it's A) funny and B) we knew it was total bullshit when they originally uttered it, which feeds back into (A).

Here's a quick tip for the three people using Mozilla. I'm not sure if I mean Fe readers or the world in general, but anyway...

Lots of times you'll get to a page where it's complaining that you need an updated browser. For example, I recently came across one complaining I needed Netscape 6 or newer (or some shit like that). I'm running a fairly recent version of Mozilla, which is more Netscape than Netscape. Needless to say, this browser restriction fucking pissed me off, since I A) need to access that site and B) my browser is a good enough version for these stupid fuckers, they're just to stupid to realize that.

Well, you can modify what Mozilla (as well as what Firebird) tells websites that it is. Not only can you can make sites think you're using a different Mozilla/Nutscrape version, but you can also make sites think Mozilla is any other browser, including IE.

To do this, you can type "about:config" in the address bar (no quotes, of course). This is a decent interface for customizing all sorts of Mozilla shit. It's nice that Mozilla is so customizable, by the way, but it is the biggest fucking pain in the ass to do in many circumstances. This procedure, however, is pretty painless, and the "about:config" interface helps in that regard. The config interface actually just edits your prefs.js file for you, in case you're averse to hand-editing shit (which, normally, I am not, but Moz is a special case).

Anyway, go to "about:config," right click anywhere down in that mess of a list, and choose new->string from the pop-up menu. For the string name, call it "general.useragent.override" (once again, no quotes, which I know you know, so leave me alone). For the string value, you can enter anything in this list.

Although this ended up fixing my problem with the site in question, it caused side issues. For example, I changed the useragent string to "Netscape/7.0 (X11; Linux)," and Blogger stopped giving me the nice posting interface. As such, I had to go edit my profile and tell it to ALWAYS use the classic interface since I know my browser can handle it. Also, I tried spoofing as IE at one point, but the classic interface gave me this stupid help bar on the right which I couldn't get rid of. I'm pretty sure I know how to use Blogger at this point, what with me being past 1,300 posts.

I don't know if Moz needs to be restarted, but my old-school Mac mentality had me doing it anyway just in case. Either way, it worked like a charm. Oh, and you can of course go back to the default useragent string by just removing the override.

As mentioned, this may cause some problems with other sites, and you had better be using it for good instead of evil. As if I give a shit. The one thing I give a shit about is if you blame me for any problems, because I will have none of that. Even if it does cause problems with other sites, this is a handy, un-doable fix that can be used for sites that are being douchebags.

Pretty fucked up when the outgoing head of searching for WMD says "Yeah, there's nothing there" and then the incoming guy says "Yeah, there's nothing there."

If you're trying to mend relationships with European allies... Sending Dick Cheney is probably not the best way to go about it. Which, once again, indicates that we aren't seriously trying to patch things up with Europe.

One thing I keep asking myself is why candidates who clearly aren't electable even bother running. Yeah, I know, some people know that they won't get elected, and they're running to make some kind of statement. Still, though, there's gotta be a point where it's like, fuck, this is costing a lot of money.

Dennis Kucinich. Anyone who is calling for the creation of a Department of Peace is not going to get elected. I will be the first in line to dismiss that as nothing but liberal nonsense. Al Sharpton. Whenever I see Sharpton, all I can think of is this episode of The Critic where someone is playing a video game whose premise is simply running around New York City and trying to stay alive. One of the obstacles you can come across is Al Sharpton, who blocks your path saying nothing but "Blah blah blah," causing your character to melt.

I've been trying to get over condemning candidates who supported the war. At this point, I'm more interested in what they're going to do to see the Iraq situation through should they get elected. Pragmatically speaking, that's what matters. Plus, there are about a million other issues that are vital in this election. However, I can't let the support for war thing go entirely, and not because I disagree with what they did. The problem I still have with it is that for some candidates, it speaks to an annoying Democratic tendency to be scared into doing what Bush wants, and then later on backtracking and saying what a mistake it was when it's already too late. The war and the PATRIOT act are two good examples. It just doesn't look good.

Kerry tries to cover this by saying that Bush failed to keep his pledge to go to war only as a last resort. You actually bought that, John? You've got to be kidding me. Bush was just itching to go to war. And you would be too, especially if you had Cheney, Wolfowitz, and Rumsfeld around every corner just waiting to run up your ass. "So, are we gonna go to war, or what?"

Seriously, if you can't cut through Bush's bullshit, which is so thick and transparent that it could be used to transport whales to the future, then maybe you shouldn't be president. Of course, I don't think that Kerry or the other guys are this stupid. It's not that they bought the bullshit, it's that they signed on with it anyway.

Just to make sure things don't get anywhere near positive towards anyone around here, this might not be the way for Dean to go. I'm not sure if you want to be so harshly criticizing the man who so many think has brilliantly guided the economy through good times and bad. If nothing else, people would shit if Greenspan were replaced, and that wouldn't be good. Even TB recognizes that, regardless of what they think of Greenspan. Also, didn't Greenspan come out against the tax cuts, worried about their effects on the deficit? Maybe he didn't outright condemn them, and as such could have been more vocal, but I seem to remember at least a warning or two.

Here's one thing I'm sick and fucking tired of seeing the media do: asking people questions when they have a clear bias.

I was watching C-Span after the debate last night and they were running local news coverage. The reporters kept talking to people who worked for the various campaigns. What the fuck is the point of that? What the hell is someone working for Joe Lieberman going to say about their boss? "Yeah, you know, I really didn't think Joe looked too good out there. He was all over the map, and he once again failed to present any sort of clear vision. I'm embarrassed to be working for him." I mean, the candidate could whip it out and go to town on stage and all his campaign workers would still be singing his praises in interviews afterwards.

Now, it's not just shitty local New England newscasts that are guilty of this kind of thing; everyone does it. And I want them all to stop wasting everyone's time by asking people questions that we already know the answers to.

Alright, everyone, it's time to get over Dean's banshee act.

Howard Dean is a fiery guy. Did we not already know this? I'm not buying the ultra-liberal tag that so many have given him, but even I know that Dean isn't afraid to get pissed. I can understand peoples' reservations about that, and how that might make him unsuitable to be president. I can see the desire for someone who's even-tempered. I mean, you wouldn't want me being president, for myriad reasons. Like Denis Leary once said: "... And now you see why I could never be president. I'd snap like this eighteen times a day. Go get Air Force One; I wanna blow some shit up."

It's just going to be really sad if this one incident destroys Dean, whether he deserves to be destroyed or not. It'll show what simple-minded, short-sighted assholes we are.

You know Team Dean is worried though, especially if they managed to drag Dean's ever-reclusive wife out of hiding. It was mentioned in that article that Dean has a college-age daughter, and we all know that could have a big impact on who I endorse for the D nomination. Considering the gene pool Dean's daughter is coming from, though, I don't hold out a ton of hope. Sorry, Howard. I know how badly everyone wants my endorsement.

While we're talking about Dean, one thing I do like about him is that even though he's bullshitting us like any politician would, he's at least giving it to us straight in some regards. He's willing to say "I'd like to put A, B, and C into place, which are things we all want, and that's going to cost money." Of course, the payment is going to come in the form of taxes. Naturally, everyone's bowels release when they hear the evil word "taxes."

Look, everyone hates paying taxes. I've made no secret of being a greedy fuck, and yeah, it's irritating to have a sizable chunk of my paycheck jacked. I've been warming to the idea of a flat tax in the past few years. But still, I'm not all that pissed about taxes because I know that taxes pay for shit... Like roads, and schools, and other shit that we're all pretty fond of. Everyone wants the moon, but they don't want to have to give anything to get the moon.

In the end, it's not taxes that piss me off so much, it's how those tax dollars are often used. Obviously, it's never going to be 100% efficient, but it'd be nice to see some more effort towards that end. And either way, if someone is going to cost me money in the long run, the least they can do is fucking tell me about it.

I'm sure it was all on the up and up.

"The senators asked Rehnquist to tell them whether the Supreme Court has a similar mechanism, and whether Scalia used it before accepting the trip with Cheney." Yeah, Scalia is going to go and ask for permission.

Awww, wook at the poor wittle mistweated wepubwicans. God, shut up, you whiny pussies.

First off, you're in fucking COLLEGE. At THE UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO AT BOULDER. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, colleges are typically rather liberal institutions to begin with, but you're in goddamn Boulder. If you don't want to be around a bunch of show-boatin' libs, then fucking go to school somewhere else. I'm sure Bob Jones University would be glad to have you.

CU-Boulder? Liberal? Pedro is shocked!

They're being discriminated against? SHUT THE FUCK UP. You HAVE NO IDEA WHAT DISCRIMINATION IS. If you were being discriminated against, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE ALLOWED TO HAVE A FUCKING CLUB TO BEGIN WITH!!!!! God damn it. You don't hear them crying discrimination over the fact that CU-Boulder is one of the whitest fucking places ON EARTH. And I should know - I fucking went there.

I hate white people.

Indoctrination? You've got to be kidding me. I was an engineering student, but I took a few arts and crafts arts & sciences courses. I never fucking received any indoctrination. No, my bullshit liberal attitude is all home-grown.

"I'm shocked the students would resort to this." You are? Why? Look at their republican role models - the crowd of "I'll throw a fucking tantrum if I can't get my way every single time and then use recess appointments to get what I want anyway."

This "sudden surprise" over the fact that CU has left-leaning people running around has been stewing for awhile. There was a discussion about it on a local radio station a few months back, when I think Governor Bill Dumbass was trying to push some sort of legislation to get more conservative professors into state schools. A woman called in who said she was a conservative, and had been back in college. She pointed out that being a C in the middle of all those Ls just forced her to work that much harder when arguing and trying to make a point. She took the disadvantage that these stupid fuckers are complaining about, and turned it into an advantage. Imagine that.

These fucking kids could take a cue from that woman and maybe learn a thing or two. And when I say "kids," I mean that in the harshest sense possible.

I try and avoid reading, listening, or posting anything about Bennifer, but I'm making an exception for three reasons:

1. I like laughing at stupid celebrities when things don't go perfect, although I won't be satisfied until both Asslick and Jenny from the rich block are hit by a train


2. Furthering (1), it's great to read about Lopez dying, even if it's only in a movie


3. There's actually a guy running around out there named Ken Sunshine

When Wes Clark speaks, am I the only one who gets this sense that he's not quite living in the same reality as us? I mean, he's not totally off base, just maybe one or two degrees out of phase with the rest of us. Kinda like he's saying stuff, but he's not really sure if we're understanding what he's saying or if we're just nodding and smiling until the guys in white coats show up.

Okay, I'm making it out to be a little harsher than it really is. But there is something kinda awkward about him when he's speaking, although I will admit that I haven't paid as much attention to all the candidates as I should, Clark included. Also, I think the general is still somewhat shell-shocked by his entry into politics. So yes, I am picking on the general, and no, he's not the only one who gives canned answers, follows a script, and "answers the question he wishes he was asked." I guess I'm being extra hard on him since I was really, really hoping he would shake things up, and I'm kinda disappointed that he's (thus far) turned out to be "just another candidate."

Okay, so here's an update on those cheat codes. I didn't discover any of these, I just found them in search results for what keeps bringing people here. Theoretically, those people should be able to find them exactly like I did, especially seeing as how I didn't look at more than two results.. Theoretically.

moneygrowsontrees 25000 starting cash
motokoismotoko Motoko dress up
rainbowsrgood Shinobu dress up
allyourmoves all combat moves
eva4hidden eva 4 mini cinema
sofarsogood Kaolla deleted conversations show
naruhaseyes Play as Naru's clone (double hp and initial stats)
smashwatermelons Mutsumi dress up

Probably our greatest skill is not in developing new technologies, but in finding ways to pervert and exploit those technologies. Not that it isn't often funny.

Congress passes a new spending bill.

"I've said it about reality TV before, but if you watch it you're not only not smart, you're prety much a bad person."
- JFR's latest rant on the subject

Christ, even Democratic sysadmins suck ass.

Maureen Dowd's commentary on the State Campaign Speech of the Union.

Okay, check this shit out, at least I know what game they're fucking talking about. I'll let you guys know if I figure out any of the (probably useless) cheat codes. So far, the game is pretty amusing... Like the series, only with lots of profanity.

Alright people, we need to have a talk. I don't know how difficult the Love Hina dating sim is, and in fact, I don't even know what sim it is you're looking for. Seriously, though, if you are this desperate to cheat, then it is just not worth it.

Seriously, people looking for LH sim cheats have been the majority of my visitors for several days running now. It's gotten fucking ridiculous.

Look, if whatever game it is you're trying to play is in any way reflective of Love Hina, then no amount of cheating is going to allow you to score. The whole bloody show/manga is about getting teased, for chrissakes. That is, of course, unless if manga vol. 14 or Again (neither of which I've read/seen) is nothing but one huge orgy. My guess, however, is that you can't win. Not even with Kitsune, the "promiscuous" one who never actually has any sex.

BBspot's Top 11 Yo Momma Insults for Coders.

Continuing the trend of Asian fetish 'blogs, John has a new blog up and running for those of you who like legs, particularly Asian ones that are stocking-clad: P!.

I knew there'd be some shit from Bush's speech last night that I was gonna forget about. How about that plan to fund drug testing in schools, huh? Do you think school funding will also be based on the scores from those tests? Seriously, why don't we just fucking get it over with and change this country's name to Oceania already?

Here's another adult link for 'ya, so if you get fired for clicking on it, it's your own damn fault.

In the mood for a dirty, raunchy comic strip written by a guy who's pretentious and a little too full of himself ('cause I have room to talk), but is still fucking hillarious? Then Sexy Losers is for you. Oh, and if you happen to read any of the "Kenta's Horny Mom" strips... Well, if that doesn't jar your sensibilities, then I don't know what will.

It looks like David Rees, author of the excellent Get Your War On, is starting up yet another new comic: Adventures of Confessions of Saint Augustine Bear.

Just got done watching the State of the Union. A few notes.

First off, Bush enters to almost immediately find a black child to interact with. I'm sorry, but if that wasn't a bullshit photo-op plant, I don't know what is. "There's a black child in my arms. Am I freakin' out? NO! Am I sayin' 'Get that tar baby out of here? NO!'"

Like the first half of Bush's speech was pandering to the troops and patting ourselves on the back for Afghanistan and Iraq. Mixed in there was sniping against those who opposed the war, because once again the anti-war crowd is pro-Saddam. Speaking of Saddam, I was impressed that so little time was spent on his capture.

Not surprisingly, we didn't hear much WMD in Iraq hype, and no mention whatsoever of Osama. The closest we got on Iraqi WMD was something along the lines of "weapons of mass destruction-related activity programs." Boy, we've come a long way from "Iraq nearly has nukes!" just a year ago, haven't we?

You know, I didn't realize Bush was such a big fan of international effort. What with Great Britain, Australia, Poland, Endor... Look, I'm sorry, but if Australia and Poland are your number three and four guys, respectively, then you do NOT have a strong "international coalition." All those other countries he mentioned can't be contributing a whole lot, at least not enough for someone to brag about when they're trying to sell the coalition. I know that Japan is sending a decent amount of money, but that's just what they do - they are the biggest giver of international aid in the world. Oh, and after much soul-searching they're sending like four troops to help out. I'm not faulting them for that; I know they have issues with military action. I just can't seem to remember why.

Speaking of the troops, I will never get over the administration's cynicism, whereby they praise the troops in public with words, but fuck the troops in private through legislation and military policy. We're proud of what you're doing, and we're going to keep you over there as long as we can, whether you like it or not. Oh, and we're going to cut your benefits when you finally do come home, too.

One of the most striking things in the speech came somewhat early on, when Bush explicitly called for an extension of the PATRIOT Act. When re-capping this after the speech, I'm lucky I didn't break my hand punching the wall. Bush all but pulled out a blood-soaked copy of the PATRIOT Act and waved it in our faces. This sent several clear messages, amongst them being this: George Bush may be talking a big game that makes him look like he's moving towards the center in this election year, but make no mistake - he is firmly entrenched on the right.

In what will probably be their one moment of showing balls this year, I have to give the Ds points for clapping as Bush was mentioning the expiration of the PATRIOT Act provisions next year.

Bush once again pulled out his faith-based initiative bullshit, attempting to blur the lines between "not promoting" and "discriminating." When Bush talks of organizations "with a cross, a star of David, or a crescent on the wall," we all know perfectly well that he's talking about a VERY BIG cross, and a rather small star of David or crescent. Bush doesn't give a shit about tearing down the walls of discrimination (cough*affirmative action*cough), he wants to erect the walls of government sponsorship of religion.

He also further crammed the No Child Left Behind Act down our throats, what with its bullshit standardized testing and current lack of funding. You go ahead and keep pushing those tests, George, and we're going to end up having a country full of unimaginative, ineffectual people. Namely, a country of me.

Bush praised the beginning of the dismantling of Medicare, and he outlined plans for the beginning of the end for Social Security. Meanwhile talking up all sorts of domestic initiatives which have no clear source of funding. Relax, docile populace, because Team Bush (TB) is going to cut the deficit in half. The deficit, which didn't exist not too long ago, that is now at record heights. They really should not be bragging about cutting down a deficit that they created. What the fuck does Bush want, a cookie? You're SUPPOSED to clean up the goddamn mess you created, you dumb motherfucker.

Still, you don't need a PhD in mathematics to realize that half of a really big number is still a really big fucking number. And of course, that "cut in half" is most likely a best-case estimate, and we all know how often things reach their best-case outcome. As a bonus, it will take five years to hit this halfway point, which means that most of the deficit will be left to those who follow him.

Oh, and how about that little Ashley Pearson, or whatever the fuck that 10-year-old's name was? That was the biggest load of CRAP I've ever HEARD. You go, girl! If you even exist.

In addition to the PATRIOT Act colonoscopy, the other big moment, for me at least, was when Bush started ranting about marriage. God, I wanted to puke when they showed Santorum; I could swear that cocksucker was actually glowing.

The reason why that was so poignant is because as I watched it, I just thought to myself "Here's, ostensibly, the most powerful man in the world, spewing homophobic garbage while the whole world watches."

Bush once again talked about "respecting the individual," but in true Orwellian fashion he contradicted that statement IN THE EXACT SAME SENTENCE by bringing the hammer down on gay marriage. You know, I'm half surprised that part way through a rant on Iraq he didn't just start talking about how we're at war with the Soviet Union, while everyone just pretends like it's all OK.

Bush's big justification for his gay-bashing on a world stage is that "the will of the people" must be respected. We already know what he thinks about the will of the people, but regardless of who's using that justification, it's a stupid fucking justification. It's a shame that we don't always follow the will of the people, because if we did then I'd never have to worry about sharing the bus, the workplace, and whatnot with blacks and other minorities here IN THE LAND OF THE FREE.

Finally, there were some pretty clear crack-backs on the Ds in that speech. If there was ever a time to get pissed and to get fired up, Democrats, now is the time. I suspect that just like Pelosi and Daschle immediately afterwards with their rebuttals, you Democrats will continue with your official policy of laying down. Meanwhile, the "Great Uniter" has driven an even larger wedge in between this nation which he has played a big part in dividing. Strap yourselves in, America. We've got four more Bush State of the Unions to go.

"For nine-and-a-half million I'd go pitch in Iraq... Maybe between starts or between pitches I could go look for those weapons of mass destruction."
- JFR's take on Sasaki Kazuhiro, who turned down $9.5 million to play for the Mariners next year so he could return to Japan to be with his family

Religion is dangerous, example #65,027,183,652,216,551,234

Just fucking sad.

Don't forget to get stoked for Bush's State of the Union this evening, starting at 8:30 EST.

What the fuck is up with that picture of Bush? What with his glasses, loosened tie, and a writing implement. Yes, I know, he's "rehearsing." That picture, though, is a bullshit plant just to make it look like Georgie is working real hard. Look, he's gonna go out there, he's gonna regurgitate the drivel that was written for him, and then he's going to crawl back into the hole from whence he came where he does none of the real work of driving this country into the ground. This is only one minor example, but I have had it with them trying to push the notion that Bush is smart or some kind of in-charge leader. He's a figurehead, plain and simple. The jig is up, ok?

One can only hope.

Just for good measure

I am just shitting myself over the brilliance

This guy was caught linking me, and as such will have to live with the shame of somehow being associated with this 'blog. I've only started perusing his site, but have come across some good stuff as well as some great links like The IRC Bible and Evil GOP Bastards. This image here, originally from EGOPB and shamelessly stolen from Dufus' front page, is just fucking great:



Just go check EGOPB yourself, but if you're too lazy, at least hit their posters section. Of course, thanks to Dufus for the link, and be sure and check his site out.

Whether or not Clinton ever gets his wish and sees the 22nd Amendment repealed, he will never cease to be influential in politics.

Fixed the first link in this post (the one about Takara). Thanks, Eli.

Well, there goes plans for the McRapist extra value meal. Sorry, Alleged McRapist.

Apparently, here's a PC game to avoid.

There's one site hit that I continually get which kind of amuses me. Every so often, I get a hit from someone who did a Google search for "bitter little man." I know it's the same person every time, too, because of the domain name that shows up in my Sitemeter log. For some reason, this person just cannot bring themselves to just bookmark this site. Furthermore, they must be too embarrassed by coming here to even memorize my URL, or they're terrified that (just like with a bookmark) the web browser's address bar will trap and store my URL for the world to see.

I'm actually not saying this to be an asshole; I'm just glad that this person as well as other people come here to read this nonsense, regardless of how they get here. It's just that this is one of the more interesting patterns of visitation that I've seen.

Speaking of visitor patterns, it's really fucked up (to me, at least) that I can recognize patterns. It's fucked up because that means that I'm getting some consistency of hits which actually allows me to see patterns. I can tell when some people are bored at work, or when they're bored at home. I even realized when ETP had changed his working schedule because the time his work domain started showing up in my log each day changed from evenings to early afternoons.

Clearly, this shows that I have too much time on my hands. However, I can take some comfort in knowing that I'm not alone.

Okay, you lazy bastards (except for Jared). After a suggestion by Sarah, I made a couple of posts over at the Messageboard to try and get things started. We even have our first poll up. I suspect that, like all other things in my life, these efforts will be in vain.

Yes, I know, I gave everyone about 12 seconds to hit the messageboard, but my guess is that Sara is right and no one would say anything unless if I did first. C'mon, guys, don't be like I am at bars and parties. Namely, silent.

I also re-organized the different forums after a suggestion by Danny. I was afraid that I had created too many forums and, sure enough, I immediately got a suggestion to cut back. I went ahead and did that, so now there are four main discussion forums, one for posting jokes, another for comments about the site itself as well as suggested links and topics, and finally the polls forum. Hopefully that will help the signal/noise ratio.

For anyone who has better things to do besides read Fe comments, Jay of Marcellus Wallace's Bloody Gitch has confirmed that his 'blog is indeed no more. Sounds like Jay has good reasons for shutting his site down, but it still sucks. MWBG was always a fun read, but if Star Trek taught me anything, it's that all good things must come to an end. Sorry for cheapening things like that, but anyway...

Thanks for the good time, Jay. Keep in touch, and feel free to rant on the new messageboard here which will otherwise get no use. If nothing else, keep us posted on how the book is coming along - my guess is that there's more than a few people out there in 'blog land who are gonne be interested in reading it someday.

So the first big step towards seeing a Democrat not get elected president is this evening. Let the meetings in people's kitchens begin.

For anyone like me who didn't fully understand what the fuck a caucus is, CNN currently has a link on their front page entitled "What is a caucus anyway?" I would have linked it, but it's a stupid Javascript window and I'm pretty sure linking it would be useless.

I don't know about anyone else, but the caucus idea seems like such a huge waste of time to me. Of course, I'm pretty simple-minded, and as such may just be too stupid to see the wisdom in caucuses as opposed to primaries. I guess one thing is that it really forces candidates to kiss ass in a particular state, since otherwise candidates probably wouldn't give much of a shit about places like Iowa (sorry, Eye-weegians).

The most surprising thing I learned today: John Edwards is 50?! Holy shit. I dunno why, but I either never heard his age or I didn't pay attention. Shit, just today I was wondering whether or not he's even old enough to be president, but he has that mark beat by a decade and a half. Maybe I'll throw my support behind that guy. It's about fucking time a shallow-ass country like this had another attractive president, isn't it? Hell, anyone who can stay looking that young at 50 has got to have something going for him, which is sadly more than I can say for a lot of other candidates. Seriously, if he has a hot daughter or two, that would totally seal the deal.

I think I vaguely heard about this piece of bullshit but neglected to post on it. I love seeing $1.5 billion of my tax dollars shitted away just so that the administration can push its religious and social agenda. This is just sick shit right here.

Yeah, whatever did happen to those Republicans of old who were all for getting government out of our lives? Thanks, Reaganites. Oh, and while we're at it: fuck popular wisdom. I've been over this before, but two parents are theoretically better than one, but that's not always the case. Quit pushing this stupid fucking absolute notion that it's always the right way to go. Along the lines of what The Onion once said, "the family that prays together, suffers through long hellish marriage together."

For any newbies, be cautious of the link in this post if you're at work or something. Everyone else hopefully knows what to do by now.

As promised, a couple of updates have been made over at Serafuku (and naturally, a day late). Get there before my daily bandwidth limitation does, or, alternatively, wait awhile.

Ahhh, it's good to have Filthy back. Filthy totally needs to adopt "The Filthy Critic: Resurrected More Times than Jesus" as his comeback slogan. Of course, to take that title, he only had to be resurrected once.

What else is new? Even with a potential WMD find from a time when we knew for certain that Iraq was using WMD, they still can't find shit. Was that whole "Saddam gassed his own people and the Iranians back in the 80s" thing made up, too?

"It was unclear why the initial field tests were wrong..." BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS FUCKING WRONG. Seriously, why do they even bother with the initial field tests? How many false alarms are we up to now? You know what? Initial tests once indicated that I had found WMD in my refrigerator, but it just turned out to be a bottle of Plochman's.

Everyone here knows what a bullshitter I am, especially when it comes to doing things related to making site changes. In my defense, I typically get around to doing everything I say I'm going to do, it just might take a really long fucking time. Well, today is one of those days where I get my shit together and add something to the site. I can guarantee that a handful of people will be disappointed with this, because it's not what they're thinking it is. Relax, that's still on the "shit to do" list, so it'll happen eventually.

So, without further ado, I proudly present Fuck Everything - The Messageboard.

It's a little rough around the edges right now, but we'll be doing some tweaking to get it to a low-class state that I'm happy with. Or maybe not, since I'm a lazy fuck. Also, I don't fully know what the deal with ezboards is - can I keep this board for free forever, or am I going to be forced to pay at some point? There's this little "trial" button that shows up on the front page, but I can't tell if that's just for their bullshit "gold" trial, or if the whole board is on trial status. So, if the board gets little or no use and I end up having to pay, this board will get 86ed. But, if it actually sees some traffic, I'd be willing to pay unless of course if I don't have to.

Also, the usernames "Bitter Little Man," "BitterLittleMan," and "BLM," were all taken, so I just decided to punt on the effort and use my old ezboard account I created awhile ago to read other boards. As such, the jackass known as "keymasterofgozer" is yours truly. Maybe once I care again I'll create a new account with a suitable username and add that as admin.

For Christ's sake, please use the messageboard, so that maybe I won't have to post as much and you people can finally start pulling your weight around here and help sustain the site a little. Also, let me know if you have any suggestions or problems. And no, I will not pay attention to any suggestions to kill the board or the site itself, nor will I listen to any "problems" with shitty site content.

In case you hadn't thought about it lately, here's a little reminder of the upcoming Eva live action movie, AKA the worst idea ever.

After reading through the comments on the link over at Slashdot, the change in characters' names hasn't been confirmed, but I wouldn't be surprised if they do change them just for the stupid gaijin audience. Shame on everyone involved with making this movie, and furthermore, FUCK everyone involved with making this movie.

Also mined from Assdot comments is this site, which posts rumors circulating about the atrocity. I think I'm so beyond anger at this point that I can now read shit like speculation that Harry Potter might play Shinji and just laugh instead of going out looking for a razor. I'm just going to try and sit back, relax, and laugh when it tanks.

To keep my sanity, I'm just going to consider Eva live action to not have anything to do with the real Eva. Much like Enterprise, which I don't consider Star Trek despite the name, Eva live action is NOT Evangelion.

Shake that ass, honey!

Indeed, how much CAN Chun-Li take?

Is that Galvin?

When did Ghandi show up?

They say milk baths are good for the skin, but... Yeah.

Visine: it gets the red out

If you open your eyes, it will be the LAST THING YOU DO.

Nope, there's more.

Bounty: the quicker picker upper

Now with more absorbent... Ah, fuck it.

My guess is that was one of about 348 showers.

... And my life has come down to this.

If you're wondering what the hell the deal is with all the random posts, yes, I am a little buzzed here. I'm getting sleepy, so it should mercifully come to an end soon. And no, I don't have an excuse for most of the other times I'm making a bunch of random posts just because I can.

I keep seeing these bumper stickers that say "Proud parent of a sailor." And I was thinking, hey, how about "Proud parent of a sailor schoolgirl." In one of my few moments of sanity, I immediately realized how goddamn fucking creepy that is. Don't worry, there's pretty much no chance I'll ever have children.

I did, however, come up with a bumpersitcker that I would find amusing: "Proud boyfriend of a sailor." It would go great next to my "God rules with an iron fist" sticker, courtesy of none other than ETP.

"But as they say in the U.S. Navy, there is no wrong hole."
- George Carlin

... But at least I'm not (yet) posting anything like this for my mother to potentially read.

Mad points for posting anything that involves horse cum. Mad points.

Ironic that just now I received a spam with the subject being "How to Relax." Okay, maybe not so much "ironic" as "someone trying to tell me something."

While I'm in the middle about worrying about what my family thinks of me, I need to lay down a quick rule:

Putting on a plaid skirt and calling it a schoolgirl uniform does not alone make it a schoolgirl uniform

This is why I got so damn fed up with American porno people. I can't even count the number of links I've clicked saying it's a set of schoolgirl pictures, only to click the link and find some skank in a plaid skirt with knee-high boots or a tube top or some other crap. There's a time and place for that stuff, but it is not in a so-called schoolgirl set.

This is why I give mad props to the Japanese, fucked up as they are - they fucking get it right. And no, it's not because they're sick like that and will parade around actual schoolgirls. As I've said before, it's not the age of the model but the uniform that does it. Girls with diplomas can wear uniforms and be every bit as sexy, so it's not just my lolicon tendencies talking there. The Japanese just don't fuck up the fantasy by throwing in something that doesn't belong. Bottom line is, if you're going to label a set of pictures as a "schoolgirl" set, you had better fucking get it right.

Alright, so Fuck everything may or may not be in some trouble. I won't explain the circumstances, but a few people in my family are now vaguely aware of the fact that I have a website entitled Fuck everything. My aunt, my cousins, and probably my mother presently have this notion. My aunt and cousins want to know where they can find my site, and so far, I've just tried to avoid the issue by telling them that I'll e-mail them the URL, hoping they'll just forget about it. But, no, they will probably end up here at some point, reading this fucking post no doubt.

Now, don't get me wrong here. I've already pointed out what a momma's boy I am, even if I do bitch about her obsessive-compulsive tendencies (tendencies which I myself have inherited). My aunt is super cool, because otherwise I would not have made two trips in about a month's time to Okla-fucking-homa to visit her and my uncle (in their defense, neither is an Oklahoma native). My cousins are also very cool, which they must be seeing as how they managed to get me to go downtown and out to bars this evening when I should have been drinking alone and updating Serafuku. And no, I'm not just kissing ass here because I'm expecting them to show up some day.

The reason why this is problematic is because I don't want any extra excuses to self-censor myself. It should be fairly evident that I don't do a whole lot of self-censoring here. Of course, there's bound to be some shit that I'm gonna hold back on, but to be honest I lay out quite a bit here, and I don't keep much in the closet. But if it gets to the point where I'm always worried about what X, Y, or Z is gonna think, or if I'm holding back on posting certain things that I otherwise would have posted, it's going to completely ruin this for me. I will fucking quit Fe if things get too bad, and I am not fucking bullshitting for once. Although I do like being a source of entertainment for others, the purpose of this site is primarily to entertain ME. That's how it's been since day one, and, quite frankly, that's what makes Fe what it is.

You see, it's not even so much that I'm worried about anyone in my family knowing my personal demons, because the people I'm close to already have an idea about all that. And yeah, it's not like my mother doesn't know what those magazines wrapped in plastic are about that come to our house. That kind of stuff has never been an issue with us.

It's just that I don't think that anyone in my family really needs to (or wants to) know about my sailor schoolgirl fetish. I don't really want to give my mother anything else to worry about by laying out posts talking about what a pathetic, lonely loser I feel like for not having a girlfriend. I've never busted out these stories (and pray I never do), but I brought a lot of worry to a lot of people back when I was in high school. I'm still pissed at myself for having done it, and I sure as hell don't want to do it again. Especially since, despite my crankiness and my moods, I am doing pretty well, so any worry would be completely unnecessary. And besides, writing posts where I'm passing along porn tips is just kinda creepy in that context. I half expect some blind motherfucker to burst into my apartment screaming at me about how I'm taking the first steps down the wrong path.

So yeah, the main worries are that I don't want anyone worrying, I don't want anyone creeped out, and I don't want to be getting any phone calls because of a 'blog post I made. Yeah, I know, I could just lie or bullshit my way out of this, but I'm really not big on that course of action. Well, nevermind, I'm already lying since I'm trying to avoid giving them the URL. No surprise there, since avoidance is typically how I try and get out of outright lies. I suppose another course of action would be to get my shit together so that there wouldn't be any posts that might be problematic, but let's face it, that is not going to happen.

We'll just have to see how this pans out. You know what the end result will most likely be? I'm overdramatizing this, LIKE ALWAYS (I'm so going to fail this semester!!!!), and whether or not people in my family start reading, this 'blog will be the EXACT same piece of shit it has always been.

Alright, I've been getting errors when trying to visit Marcellus Wallace's Bloody Gitch for the past several days. I hope Jay hasn't dropped out of the land of the blogging, but I am worried since he's done that before. If MWBG doesn't come back, I'm going to get angry. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Who the fuck am I kidding? You wouldn't like me, angry or otherwise. But still, if Jay leaves, I'm going to be pissed.

Even though they're just the distributors and not the makers of this, I'm going to nominate Takara for the greatest toy company of all time. Even if that dream thing is total rubbish, they still get the nod from me, thanks to (but not limited to) bad-ass toys like 20th Anniversary Optimus Prime.

Actually, you know what? That dream machine could be horribly dangerous if it actually works. What if someone whose life totally sucked got ahold of one? They might just do what they can to spend as much time as possible sleeping, only waking when they can't sleep anymore or they have to input a new dream. Goodbye job, goodbye friends, hello motherfucking fantasyland. Sure, it'd all be fake, but that's fairly comparable to real life, now isn't it? It'd be like your own bloody movie, except you're not inflicting it upon everyone else like most of the grassfuckers in Hollywood.

Of course, when I say it could be dangerous, I'm not talking about myself. I'm perfectly happy with... Goddamn it, I want one of those things.