So both circlejerks are mercifully over. I saw half of Obama's speech after the fact, and it failed to get me hard enough to go watch the rest. I saw all of McCain's speech, and meh. Overall, both candidates failed to inspire me. Rudy inspired me to long for the days when I thought he could be awesome. Biden inspired encouraged me to continue liking Biden. Palin inspired me to want to have hot, sweaty, angry, and -- oh yes -- bipartisan sex with her.

Continuing with the uninspiration, lightning round time:

• That video they played before McCain came out and gave his speech. I didn't see all of it, but, Jesus. Melodramatic much? We get it, McCain has a pretty interesting story.
• I loved how when someone tried to cause some shit during McCain's speech the crowd's response was to start chanting "U-S-A! U-S-A!" and McCain dismissed it as "static." Dissenting opinion, meet thoughful and mature response.
• Of course, the crowd had to chant "U-S-A!" multiple times to remind everyone that the Republicans have a monopoly on patriotism.
• Note to McCain: LOSE THAT CREEPY FUCKING SMILE. Seriously, anytime you are trying to make a point, DON'T PUNCTUATE IT LIKE THAT.
• McCain's spiel on education. All I could think was, oh great, here we go with this voucher shit again. Quick quiz: how do you improve public education? By destroying it, of course!
• I loved the asshole in the audience who had a sign that read "The Mavrick." Guess he didn't get to go to no fancy private school, huh?
• In addition to the "U-S-A!" chants, I think the second most common refrain from the audience these past two nights was "Drill baby drill." Oh my fucking god, you people are losers. You need Viagra to get hard for this shit?
• I just love how McCain still kisses ass with Bush. I understand that's just decorum talking, but c'mon. Some maverick you are. How's that illegitimate black daughter working out for you? Okay, okay, that wasn't Bush talking, it was Karl Rove. But still.
• My response to a lot of McCain's bullet points: How?
• Many old and tired themes reared their heads tonight, and one of them was the notion of "legislating from the bench." I'm tired of this shit. If they do something you agree with, awesome. If they do something you disagree with, then they're activist judges legislating from the bench. Fuck you very much.

I think that's a good stopping point.

So I guess I'm motivated to talk politics again. Shit.

Since we're at it, I'm more than a little sick and tired of this rubbish. Look, I have no problems with Lieberman supporting McCain. I hate the notion of party above all else and I applaud people speaking out for what they think is the right thing, even if they're wrong. There's always something to be said for honesty. So be consistent, Lieberman, and if you're gonna be a Republican, call yourself one.

Lieberman is a douche. Yeah, just about everything I say and do goes against most of the Democratic party, but look at me everyone, I'm a Democrat! Well, sure, as long as caucusing with them gets you a prestigious committee chairmanship. Fuck you, Joe.

"The Democratic Caucus will reassess the situation with Sen. Lieberman after the election," Jim Manley, a spokesman for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, said Wednesday.

In other words, if we don't need him anymore, we'll kick his ass to the curb. Lieberman is using the Democratic party for his own self-aggrandizement, but of course they're just using him for theirs. As per usual here, I'm not saying anything ground breaking, but I needed to vent because I'm sick of this crap too. It's OK, though -- either Mavericks, Inc. or Hope on a Rope will save us come January.

Here's the Republicans' impersonation of Obama:

"Hi, I've done nothing."

I really wish I could argue with them, but when even a former mayor of a town no one's ever heard of and Governor of a state no one cares about is on pretty solid ground to shit all over Obama's resume, that's not good. I know, I know; I said recently that I don't know if all this "experience" FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt) is the end-all, be-all in this election, but after having it laid out like that... Damn.

I'd say Palin gave a good effort; a solid stand-up double. Way too much "getting to know you" info before she got into the meat of her speech, though. Well, we did get a better view of her daughters, so that was a plus. The little one -- cute. The knocked up one -- meh. And the other one? Yeah, I'd hit that. She's no Jenna Bush, but I certainly wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers under the covers (but I would make her clean the sheets the next day).

If you'll permit me a quick aside on this whole pregnancy ordeal... How about that boyfriend of hers? Imagine what it must be like to be a young kid and get your girlfriend pregnant, and then have to go through it on that stage. Best of luck, chief.

Nothing has been more hilarious -- and by hilarious I mean fucking irritating as all hell -- than all of the Republicans and other McCain backers who are expressing their support for the young, unwed mother. Can you imagine what a field day they'd be having if Obama or Biden had a teenage daughter who got pregnant? They'd have a fucking "save it for marriage" and "family values" bukkake!

Personally, I could give a shit. But even that would be too much. Her being pregnant has no bearing on anything that matters to the rest of us; this kinda stuff happens all the fucking time. While I don't think it necessarily reflects on her parenting skills, I do have to wonder if Palin was preaching abstinence-only at home since she supports that when it comes to sex ed for everyone else's kids. Wait, I think I just questioned her parenting skills. Anyway, if she has been abstinence-only at home, well, we know how that shit turned out. Maybe if Bristol and the boyfriend had had notions like profos and other contraceptives drilled into their heads (drilled? Hey-YOOOO!) things would have turned out differently. Or maybe not, 'cause kids are gonna be kids, kids are gonna fuck, and sometimes they end up having more miserable kids for the rest of us to deal with.

Speaking of drilling, here's a little flashback from when Jenna became legal.

Anyway, back to the circlejerk recap. Palin's playing the attack-dog and cheerleader role very well (I probably shouldn't have said "cheerleader", but if you prefer...). She certainly doesn't seem like a deer caught in the headlights, and she's at least as qualified as Obama to be in charge of anything.

Rudy's speech tonight, though -- I thought he knocked it out of the park. Yeah, a lot of his speech was obnoxious rah-rah bullshit and mindless pandering (par for the course for anyone, at either circlejerk), and he mostly resonated with people who already agree with him (of course, I used to really like Rudy, or at least I really wanted to). Even if a lot of his speech was pure bollocks there were some lines that I thought were pretty good, like the one about how the Presidency isn't for "on-the-job training." My favorite line, though:

"Change is not a destination, and hope is not a strategy."

That was par for the course for the two speeches; the Republicans pretty much just blew the Democrats up tonight. Once again, we saw the difference between how the Democrats go about their business and the Republicans theirs:

The Democrats: "John McCain is a true American Hero."
The Republicans: "Fuck you, you're losers."

This doesn't mean that they're right about everything, but Jesus, at least they stand up for themselves and aren't ever afraid to go after their opponent. Sure, it does help that the Democrats went first and now the Republicans get a four-day rebuttal, but tell me the Republicans wouldn't have pretty much the same posture even if the timing was reversed. Still, I can't get on board with these d-bags, even if they picked a VP nominee who's easy on the eyes (but hard on the brain). So where does that leave me? Supporting the people who are going to vote for one guy just because he's not the other guy? That's not change -- that's more of the same!

Well, there's a decent chance the choice of Palin was brilliant, for non-aesthetic reasons that is. The Republicans can always count on one thing being certain: that the Democrats will be pussies.

Obama's campaign has begun airing its first ad that includes Palin, but it never criticizes her or even mentions her name.

Yup, they're afraid to go after her. Well, it is still early, and they didn't exactly have a ton of time to pull together the first ad going against the full ticket now that it's been decided. Then again:

An Obama spokesman had reacted to the announcement that McCain had picked Palin as his running mate Friday with a statement that called her "the former mayor of a town of 9,000, with zero foreign policy experience."

Obama, who later complimented Palin in a statement, backed away from the criticism. "I think, you know, campaigns start getting these hair triggers," he said. "And the statement that Joe [Biden] and I put out reflects our sentiments."

Yeah, not exactly coming out swinging. Of course, Obama is understandably playing it safe with the whole experience issue, since, well. As that Weekly Standard piece I linked pointed out, Palin's inexperience, while not a help to her, just helps to further magnify Obama's qualifications or lack thereof.

It seems like the Democrats have an open avenue considering that she's supposedly a big ethics reformer but is currently under investigation in her own state. Maybe firing somebody for not firing somebody else that you have a family beef with just isn't that big of a deal, or there's not as much of a story there as there might seem, or the Democrats just don't know what the fuck to do like always.