I think this woman made the right move by committing suicide. If you can't even get attention from others after you're dead and dangling in front of traffic, then it really just isn't worth it.

Fuck -- I should have just kept my mouth shut. Even though this cunt wasn't what we'd call "good," at least if that had gone through we could have moved on to our next abomination in this country. But you've gotta hand it to our government -- even for them, the bullshit was palpable throughout this affair. From the White House's pleas of "she's qualified... really!" to all of the excuses for her withdrawing when everyone knows the reasons... Christ. They piled it on thicker than the makeup that woman puts on that repulsive mug of hers.

The image is in my head, so now you have to deal with it, too

Google search:

giving birth while fucking doggy style

You're welcome.

Google search:

Freeballing Christians

I think this would make a great name for something like a minor-league baseball team. It wouldn't be as cool as the Decatur Fist, but it'd be up there.

Okay, so I have to give the Pope credit for one thing: knowing what to drive.

MSN search:

can horses eat top ramen

There were about a million search hits I was going to comment on, but seeing as how this may be the dumbest fucking search hit I've ever gotten, none of the others seem worthy of commentary by comparison. I can't even imagine what would prompt someone to ask this, other than they're retarded.

One thing's for certain: if horses can and indeed do eat Top Ramen, then that is not what's responsible for those horse cocks of theirs. If Top Ramen led to a massive schlong, I would have a dick big enough for us all to stand on with all the ramen I consumed sophomore year of college. As we all know, that's not the case -- the ladies are probably better off with a ramen noodle than my junk.

Alright, so last week was a solid week for driving. First off, one night I got bored after work, so I headed out to this long, straight country road where there usually aren't many cars. Now, in a car like a BMW, a long stretch of road with no curves is fucking boring. But you can make up for some of that if, say, you're going 130 miles an hour. Okay, so that's clearly not smart, but I was pissed and needed something to get my mind off of work for a bit, and doing a buck thirty can help in that endeavor. That's still well off that car's top speed of 155 MPH (assuming I don't get a new chip that removes the top speed limiter), but we're getting there.

That was just a precursor to... The track. This past weekend, the local chapter of the BMW Car Club of America was holding a performance driving school down in my hometown of Pueblo. And yeah, that was bad-ass. The main focus, at least for us beginners, was just getting us to learn to work the track properly. Follwing "the line," apexing at the right time, proper braking, weight transfer, etc. Just taking all sorts of basics and puttig them together to work our way up to being able to drive fast and well. So that meant that things started out slowly, but by the end of the day, I was getting up some good speeds. Not 130 mile-an-hour speeds, but still pretty fast, and doing most of it where Bimmers excel -- in the turns.

If you've got a decent car, I'm telling you: get yourself some performance rubber (if you don't already have it) and hit the track. That's a solid way to spend a day. It's nice because your only concern is one that you normally have when you're driving like a shithead -- not fucking up your car. Otherwise, though, you can be as fast and aggressive as you want without the consequences or hazards of normal street driving, and that's neat.

Part of the driving school was classroom instruction, and that was worth it just for the horror stories we got to hear, like one incident that the instructor had recently seen. Someone was flying through a corner in their 911, and they ended up sliding off the track sideways into a wall. And they did it with such force that the engine was ejected from the car. In the words of Oak Express, that's not natural. But I'm sure they were able to fix that car up. Then there was the story about a guy who had gotten one of the first E36 M3s (the E36 3-series being the generation preceding mine), and while on the track he got off a bad shift, doing something like going into second when he meant to go into fourth -- a so-called "money shift." Needless to say, that was the end of that engine. The amusing part, though, was that since it was one of the first E36 M3 cars out there, BMW's engineers were very anxious to get their hands on the destroyed engine, so they cut the guy a deal on a new engine.

Luckily, I have no horror stories to tell from this outing. The worst I came away with was things that were expected -- like brake and tire tread wear. And speaking of the tires, yeah, those things are fucking great. They definitely saved me a time or two when I came into a turn a little too hot. There was one time that the instructor who was riding along with me was even impressed at how much grip they had. It's sad, though, because I'm going to have to swap tires here in a little over a week now that the cold weather is starting to set in. My snow tires, Pirelli SnowSport 240s, aren't too bad in terms of grip, but of course they're not the Bridgestone Potenzas I'm running on in warm weather. I don't wanna have to move anywhere at this point in time, but if I've actually sat there thinking that if I was ever compelled to move somewhere like the west coast or somewhere further south, it wouldn't be so bad because I could keep summer tires on year-round.

One of the best parts of the day was one where I wasn't even driving. After lunch, they had a session where the instructors drove us around the track in their cars, and I lucked out and got to ride in an E46 M3. Holy shit. The raw speed of that car combined with an experienced driver who could work the track well was quite a bit of fun. Well, okay, the first lap you're just kinda scared out of your mind even though you know that the driver knows what they're doing, and then after that it's just fun.

So yeah, that's my excitement for the time being. I would say that I pay way too much for that car, but it's so bloody entertaining that it's worth it to me. Hey, everyone's gotta have their hobbies. Some just make us bigger assholes than the rest.

Wow, I haven't posted shit lately. There are 11 posts currently on my front page. Remember when I could do 11 posts in a day? This is more on you than it is on me, though. You're not doing a good enough job of keeping me entertained, so I can't be bothered to post. Hey, motherfucker, I've got shit to do. Granted, here is my list of "shit" in no particular order: work, internet, drive. Although it's only three things, that's a pretty significant amount of time. I actually do work, and since it's been one shitstorm after another that only I can handle at work, that's just killing me. It wouldn't be so bad if not for that whole internet problem, but, you know. Well, you probably don't, and that's better for you. Driving I'll get to in a minute. Just to get caught up, here's some random shit I've been thinking of commenting on but haven't, so we'll just go lightning round on everything's ass.

This Supreme Court bullshit. Personally, I think it's pretty funny. I mean, once I strip away the fact that these shitheads are all going to fuck up our lives. But that's just a given with Team Bush in charge. Seriously, though, what is funnier than how pissed conservatives are over Harriet Miers? I have built my life on being a spoiled little brat, but I have never seen anyone who can push being spoiled as far as conservatives. They don't get exactly what they want, and they start pissing and moaning. "We don't know how she's gonna vote!" She's a fucking evangelical Christian. A Bush crony. Shit, she calls Bush the most brilliant man she's ever met. She's an idiot who clearly doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about, so she's bound to vote the way that you want her to, you stupid shitheads. "She's unqualified!" Of course she's unqualified -- she's a Bush appointee! So yeah, it's not good, but I say just let her pass. Even with as bad of a choice as this is, I think we got off relatively light. Scalia isn't Chief Justice, and they didn't find Scalia Jr. to fill the other seat (even if she might end up just as bad). Oh, and if Ann Coulter is flaming pissed, fuck it. It's worth it just for that.

It's also funny to see TB floundering like it is these days. People are pissed about the war (way to get your ass to the table, America... It's only been a couple of years). Ratings are low. Half of the Republican party is a bunch of walking malcontents over the Miers nomination. The prosecutor that Bush fucking picked might indict Rove and/or Scooter Libby (any grown man who chooses to go by "Scooter" is already guilty of a capital crime in my book). Hurricane Katrina. I know it's not going to happen, and that they're gonna get out of and away with it all, but it'd be so much fun to watch them just fucking implode. Man, what great leaders. It's a shame we haven't had any recent chances to make changes in our so-called leadership. But that's on the Democrats for fielding someone who should have been on the practice squad and not the starting quarterback.

The World Series. Every fucking year, it gets worse as to who I want to see lose more. This year, Houston and the fucking Sox. I have to hate Houston for myriad reasons, chief among them the fact that they're Houston. Fuck Texas. And Roger Clemens. Also, being a Cubs fan, I have to hate everyone else in the NL Central anyway. But on the other hand, I don't want to see a championship come to Chicago if it's because of the fucking south-siders. How lame is that? Once the riots start, I hope they at least burn down the Sears Tower. The 'Cock for life.

I'm gonna break the driving shit into another post, because I all know how much you love it when I talk about my car.