Dead baby.

It's been awhile since I originally posted a link to confession site Not Proud (just hit the lust section since all the other ones are probably boring), but I think it's been long enough that this will either be good for anyone unfamiliar with the site or a good reminder for those who do. Some of the shit on there is pretty fucking sad, some of it is just fucked up, and a lot of it pretty funny. I found this one, which really isn't much of a confession, to be particularly poignant:

I wish there was a way to have your cake and eat it, too.

This one had a great closing line:

At first my therapist did not excite me. Skinny. also, totally sincere and sweet like my wife, who had been going to see her for years. After a few months I would start to get hard when ever she said more than a few words at once. One session she was all dressed up in a dress and a slit to mid-thigh. She kept shifting to cover her thigh and I could see her white skin and I am sure she saw my erection. All I could think of was walking across the room, pulling out my cock, and shoving it deep into her mouth. Fucking the words back into her.

The power of positive thinking:

When I get down, I remember the time I fucked two women in one day, and I feel that, all in all, I can't complain.

Somebody's pissed:

I got myself off the other night, it had nothing to do with you. Stop being all proud of yourself.

I'm going to refer you to our previous contestant:

I pretend my pillow is eminem and I fantasize about being his wife and sexing him passionately every night... in my fantasy we are expecting a baby boy... I've had this fantasy with many celebrities and whenever I get bored I alternate them, add kids, buy a new house or cheat on them with their best friends... my mind is so amazing. Imagination rocks!

Whoa, don't get too wild there, dude:

Went to a strip-club over the long weekend in montreal and got my self a lap-dance.

And finally, this guy is apparently too cool for school:

I used to break into my high school and beat off all over the place. In the middle of the gym floor, on the auditorium stage, on the big-titted journalism teacher's desk chair, in the girl's locker room, and the piece-de-resistance, on the principals desk. Security at that school was a joke.

Okay, so I was just reading that All Nippon Airways, a Japanese airline, has released a set of figures showcasing the various uniforms that their stewardesses flight attendants fuck it stewardesses have worn over the years. They aren't the best looking figures I've ever seen (although the set is made by Kaiyodo), but for some reason, I still think I want them. At least a few, like 1958-66, 1966-70, 1982-90, and 2005. The concept is cute yet sexist enough that I'm in. And, naturally, at least one soulless cocksucker on eBay has several of them up for sale.

Can you imagine the uproar if someone like United released a set of lady on the plane figures? And, hey, can they mix in an OL line someday? I won't bother with a call for schoolgirl figures since it's pretty much implied that I'm always up for more of those. Actually, on second thought, maybe they shouldn't -- I really don't need to be getting back into that particular habit.

Ohidaho. If someone can give me sources of that joke besides what Google can provide I would be much obliged. I swear I originally saw it in some kind of a book or something, which included a sketch of the mystical state.

Yeah, I'm definitely in love with this girl. I know I'm probably jinxing it (because the universe is so poorly designed as to care enough to go against me), but I so hope she wins -- if only to see all the dooshebag guys like this boo-hooing and making a bunch of excuses. Fuck guys.

Spam:

Is yours Below 5 Innches Long?

Hey, finally a spam that seeks to make me feel... Adequate.