So I still suck at political commentary, but we'll always have Google.

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I like how this searcher had to specify that it was their girlfriend's vagina -- otherwise Google was sure to return some shit medical advice.

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If it involves sitting Indian style, this sounds uncomfortable. Hey, you know, I don't think you're ever told to sit "Indian style" once you're past, like, the first grade. Do they call it sitting "Native American style" nowadays?

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Duhhh...

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Yeah, more like, fuck my husband while I go out shopping. This sounds like a good deal to me; you don't have to fuck your stupid husband, and he's occupied while you're out spending money. Seriously, I am really goddamn tired to these idiot searchers who are quite clearly the husband who is doing too much wishful thinking. I'm sure some wives would like this, but not yours, asshole.

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I'd like to know what the question was that led to these being the two main things to consider.

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Well, I can tell you who's not smarter...

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Well, if she's got a big dick, she might be the one doing the fucking, so settle down.

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God, in porn, fucking children. Yup.

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Alright, so the Lucky Charms guy doesn't want you fucking with his clothing.

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This seems reduntant, as schoolgirls are always germane in my book. Of course, that's just me, and I've got a lot of problems. But at least I can fucking spell.

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I can only guess as to what exactly it is that you're getting at, but I don't need to guess at her likely answer.

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Finally, someone coming here with issues that I'd be more than happy to help out with. As long as she's cute; no fat chicks.

This next one has to be the winner of some kind of award around here:

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Wow. The most disturbing thing about this is that this 'blog may have been the last thing this person ever read. Fuck everything: your companion on your way out.

Well, that's pretty solid. I guess.

So let's take stock. We've been fighting The War Against Terror (TWAT) for nearly five years now. We've taken out two of the big bad guys (even though one wouldn't have been prominent to begin with if not for us and the other really had nothing to do with terrorism) and a bunch of al Qaeda number twos (except for the real #2, al-Zawahiri). That sure makes up for all the shit we haven't done along with all the other trouble we've caused and lives we've ended. Man, we destroy terrorism so hard.

Nope, they're not getting credit for shit.

Either I've really gone Republican and/or something is seriously fucked when I see this and my first thought is, Ann Coulter might have a point. Might; I don't know the specifics of this situation, so she could be spewing her usual shit. But I have complained before about people who turn personal tragedy into disgusting attempts at grabbing money and/or attention. In this particular instance, that doesn't so much seem to be the case.

The women, who are still pushing for changes in how the government guards against future attacks...

Sounds like a laudable goal, but again, I don't know the details of this group. If they're actually like Daniel Pearl's wife, though, fuck 'em.

The other reason why this disturbs me is not only because I might be able to get behind side with Ann Coulter, but also because her opponent in this debate is named Clinton. Of course, it's Hillary, and although I really wanted to be able to (god damn it this is the one phrase that keeps immediately coming to mind) get behind Hillary in '08, I just can't. Now, granted, Hillary is still pretty fucking smart. But she's still not Bill. She doesn't have that charisma and personality. And with Bill, he was able to sell his platform of being moderate. Hillary, on the other hand, has been labeled as left-wing, and she thinks that just by mimicking some conservative shit, that it will all balance out and people will think "center!"

The senator spoke after delivering a speech on protecting children from exposure to sex- and violence-saturated media.

Like that, for instance. Maybe she can find a way to get people to buy in, but I don't know. People are dumb, after all. And there are over two years to go and she'll have a sizable amount of cash if she really does decide to run.

Her efforts are so transparent, though, that it's sad. The people who hate her are still gonna hate her, and the people who love her are still gonna love her. Of course, this is the woman who had her husband cheat on her and embarrass her on a national stage and she ended up gaining quite a bit of sympathy and power from it, so who knows what she's capable of. But I just don't see her getting many righties to roll over for her. At this point, the best option I can come up with is still Giuliani in '08.