Be proud, be white, be lame, and get the fuck off the dance floor.

For a minute there I thought I'd shit my pants, but as it turns out it was just a trailer for Go Bots: Battle of the Rock Lords.

Oh, and you know what else? But first they'll have to get through PLAYERS!!!

Some people just need to die. Seriously, anyone who does something like that is just gonna grow up to be a serial killer anyway, so let's kill this kid now and thus save some people and more importantly some small animals some grief.

Anyone expecting some other kind of punchline clearly has not been here before and is therefore unaware that I just completely lose my shit over cute things like kittens and as such get very unhappy when I see things like this.

Indy Racing League

If your second life is orders of magnitude more bankrupt than my real life then it's probably a good reflection of your real life and you should kill yourself. I am too fucking tired right now to get all that pissed so some of you out there will hafta get pissed on my behalf and I'll make up for it later.

Hungry like the wolf

I just figured it out. I figured out how I'm gonna hit it big. I'm gonna make a porno. The theme of it will be chicks who do DVDA while they suck a cock. The title? Five-Tool Player.

the nads become self-aware 2:16AM

When it's 2:16 in the morning and you are having trouble sleeping a headline like this does not help matters if you are trying to pretend you're sane.

Then you read the article, and once you can make sense of WTF is going on, you realize you are not insane -- everyone else is retarded.