Another audio post, ranting about Star Trek (4.3MB).

Blast from the past

All hail the return of audio posts (1.8MB).

3.14159265359

While we're being inappropriate I thought I'd share another little tidbit with you. Don't worry, this one isn't something from some dark corner of my mind. Well mostly.

So I get this catalog of porn movies in the mail the other day, right? Well one of the movies -- or really, a series of movies -- was based on the theme of the "internal cumshot," AKA creampies AKA "the guy ejaculates and he doesn't wear a condom and he doesn't pull out and blow his load somewhere on the girl." Personally I never understood the need for visual ID that the guy did indeed orgasm but that's another discussion. And of course no way I could see why porn actresses wouldn't want guys doing that inside them all day either.

Anyway back to the title of this movie series I mentioned? Internal Cumbustion. That might be the awesomest porn title ever. Or at least that I've seen in awhile. I could say that being a person responsible for coming up with porn movie titles is one of the best jobs possible and you could argue with me but you'd be wrong. Seriously, how awesome would it be for your whole job to be cheap puns and innuendo and get paid for it?

While we're on the subject if you know of any good creampie sites please let me know. I have been unable to find one that defines me as a person. In other words, one with enough decent looking girls to justify signing up. Which maybe shouldn't be too much of a surprise.

So I don't bother with The New York Times anymore ever since they went to a paid subscription for their op-ed page. I know like the paper's totally gone down hill and about to completely tank without my readership but it had to be done. Anyway they dropped that subscription nonsense and went back to all free but I just can't go back to being a regular reader. I just know that if I start reading Maureen Dowd's columns again I'll end up pissed at her like most other liberals out there, and I want to remember how it was between Maureen and I back in the good ol' days.

Anyway I did wander by today and on the front page this question was being asked:

What do you think is an appropriate way for children to learn about AIDS?

By giving it to them. That's... Probably not good when that joke is the first thing that comes to my mind.

I don't think I've ever wanted to kill more than after watching this. I don't know what's more infuriating -- the story itself or that someone deemed it "news." Yes I know it's CNN and they suck and it's my own fault and blah blah blah.

Okay so as usual maybe I'm being unfair and jumping to conclusions that they weren't discriminated against for the reason they claim and instead assuming, I dunno, that they were "discriminated" against for being obnoxious cunts. But let's give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, no one else looked like them on the plane... Except them!

Even if their gripes are legit, that is still the fucking lamest bloody reason to complain about being discriminated against. Get back to me when you face some real discrimination! Other people out there face discrimination too but they usually can't parlay that into free drinks and no cover.

Boo freaking hoo.

The news isn't all bad though: what the fuck is that growing on the brunette's chin?

I'm not certain if this is an endorsement or not

So when I first saw that Nader is in... Again... I was like, dude, what are you doing?

No, not because I blame him for the outcome of the 2000 election. Sure, when you look at the numbers, if Nader hadn't been in the race Gore probably would have won. But I still don't blame Nader. Shit, ultimately I don't even blame those d-bags on the Supreme Court. You know who I do blame for 2000? Gore. Let's look a what Gore had going for him:

1. Pretty smart and pretty well respected
2. A part of the Clinton Administration, which was fairly popular and left the country with eight years of no wars and a healthy economy
3. An opponent who was a complete retard

The 2000 election never should have been close to begin with. Anyone who can fuck up with that set-up doesn't deserve to be president. Unfortunately someone even less deserving won.

So yeah, when I saw Nader getting into the mix I wasn't pissed because of that. My first thoughts were, why are you wasting every one's time with this? You're not helping matters and I don't think you're really making a statement other than "I want to be President." Stop that.

But then I got a load of some of his rhetoric:

In an interview with CNN on Monday, Nader accused Illinois Sen. Barack Obama of name-calling and challenged him to "address the issues."

"Above all, explain why you don't come down hard on the economic crimes against minorities in city ghettos: payday loans, predatory lending, rent-to-own rackets, landlord abuses, lead contamination, asbestos," Nader said.

"There's an unseemly silence by you, Barack -- a community organizer in poor areas in Chicago many years ago -- on this issue," he said.

Oh, hell yeah. FUCK YOU Barack Obama! And I quote Nicholas Cage from The Rock: How do you like how that shit works?

Nader called Sen. Hillary Clinton the Democrat "most loved by big business," referencing a Fortune magazine article from last year.

Suck on that bitch! Ralph Nader is here now and he isn't taking any of your shit.

"The Democrats ought to look themselves in the mirror and ask themselves why they have not been able to landslide the worst Republican Party and the White House and Congress over the last 20 years," he said.

Yes. I agree with that statement. Democrats: stop your fucking whining. It is not Nader's fault that you are unable to get your shit together. Ralph Nader and I don't want to keep hearing this garbage from you.

Ralph Nader just got on the scene and he's already firing on all cylinders. Look out, 'cause the man is unsafe at any speed!