I just received spam from... Myself. I got a spam that was sent from my Hotmail account (which I give out publicly) to my old school account (which is my main account and I do not give out publicly). Can someone explain how this is possible? Sounds like someone may have somehow gotten into the info on my Hotmail account, otherwise I don't see how they would have known to send e-mail to my other address. If any of the few people who I communicate with via that Hotmail address gets spam that appears to be coming from me, let me know. I can assure you that I'm not willingly spamming anyone. I'm an asshole, for sure, but I'm not an asshole.

I don't watch a lot of gay porn, but I'm pretty sure that Will and Grace and Queer Eye are far from "sizzling gay-on-gay action."

I still don't like the feel and the motivation of the recent "gay explosion" just because it seems so hollow and it's clearly just an attempt at making money. Like I've said before, our friend mainstream America is all for some gay jokes and reality TV bullshit, but when it comes to two guys making out, they're all like "EWWWWW!!!!" And you know, it's okay if you don't like watching men make out with men or women get it on with other women. Shit, I don't really like seeing straight people making out. Not liking or being turned on by something is one thing; saying regular people should be denied rights just because of who they are is an entirely different thing.

Attitudes do at least seem to be changing. Even if the gay craze is exploitative, at least there's the beginnings of some kind of comfort level. If nothing else, it has led to some decent TV, like Queer Eye, which is a pretty fucking good show. I don't even give a shit if they're gay or straight; they're just five fucking cool guy who are fun to watch. It has also led to some bad TV, like Will and Grace, which is fucking terrible. Also, we do seem to have an attitude shift if at least some people are not just pushing for gay marriage but actually doing something about it, like in San Francisco. Yes, it's all very small-scale, but like I was saying earlier, it's got to start somewhere.

I guess another thing that worries me is that attitudes aren't necessarily shifting, they're just further polarizing. But as polarization continues, at least some voices are getting louder. Unfortunately, that includes the voices of the ignorant. But, like always, it's not so much ignorant voices that bother me - you can say whatever stupid shit you want. After all, that's what free (as in speech) speech is all about. It's the ignorant actions that piss me off, and we're at least seeing some reaction to that ignorance. Like always, here's to seeing more and more of that positive reaction as time goes on.

Also, for those who haven't been keeping up, there have been occasional sailor schoolgirl updates. Depending on if it's showing up in your browser or not, you may or may not have noticed a new super-pretentious feature: in addition to the romanized names for us gai-jin, I've also started putting each model's name in Japanese. This is not any sort of attempt to show off my Japanese skills, since I have none, but to show off my nerd skills in figuring out how to get Japanese text both into web pages. This also had a bonus side effect of figuring out how to input Japanese text into web forms and shit, which should really help to curb my shopping issues over at Amazon.co.jp. Also, I'm curious as to whether or not this can help generate search engine-based hits.

For anyone who cares, and I know there are so many of you out there, listed below are a few resources I came across for dealing with the Japanese language under Linux. The programs/utilities I ended up using are canna for the conversion server, kinput2 for (cleverly) inputting shit for canna to handle, vim for text editing, and kterm as a Japanese-language capable terminal emulator.

Guide to using Japanese under Linux
Getting Mozilla set up to allow Japanese input
Using kinput2 in Mozilla once Mozilla is able

Some people are so fucking retarded that just by coming here, they're dumbing down my site. And that's saying something. Some more search engine examples:

Yuna's 100% Big titties

It's not just the fact that someone is once again looking for Yuna naked, which I don't see how they expect to find unless it's shitty fan art, it's how this one was phrased.

wives who do everything except fuck other men

I hate guys.

The abortion debate rages on.

"The Justice Department says it needs to review medical records to examine whether the abortions are ever medically needed."

I still can't imagine why this procedure would ever be performed if it wasn't medically needed.

Oh, so it's March Madness. There are few things I could give less than a fuck about than college basketball. God, I hate basketball. Nothing but a bunch of guys running up and down the floor over and over again with those squeaky fucking shoes. I can't wait until this stupid basketball bullshit is over so that the second airing of JFR's show stops getting preempted by college basketball or, even worse, high school basketball. If you're into prep sports, please, do us all a favor and shoot yourself. In fact, if you consider yourself a "hoops junkie" at all, please do the same. Basketball is for losers.

But at least it's not soccer.

Just in case you need a reminder that drug companies are evil fucks... Because I know you'd forgotten.

The former CEO of Eli Lilly is in charge of Bush's AIDS plan. That's... That's just disgusting.

Nothin' like a good old fashioned proxy war. Sorta.

When people from the Clinton Administration come out to criticize TB for not acting on the al Qaeda threat, there's both validity and hollowness to their claims. Bush didn't do shit to go after al Qaeda and other terrorists, and he had no real intention of doing so. This is just like every other administration that came before, both D and R alike, including Clinton's. TB obviously only stepped things up because they had to - period. Of course, it didn't hurt matters that 9/11 gave them an excuse to do all sorts of things they had already planned - USA PATRIOT, Iraq, etc. Still, they probably would have sat on their hands if they could have.

You know, Bush, maybe the best way to motivate people to fight terrorism is to not give a speech where you talk a lot about the war in Iraq. You know, the war that was based on lies that not only diverted us from hunting down the terrorists who attacked us but also helped to breed terrorism inside Iraq.

You might argue that building a democracy in Iraq will be a future stepping stone towards combating terrorism. And if that ends up being the case, you'd be right. No one - not Democrat or Republican, liberal nor conservative - have ever said that democracy for Iraq isn't good for Iraq or the world as a whole. But we didn't fight this war to protect ourselves, and we didn't fight this war to combat terrorism. If we were so concerned with fixing up un-democratic societies known for producing terrorists, we'd be going after, say, Saudi Arabia. You know, where 15 of the 19 9/11 highjackers were from, and not Iraq as so many stupid people believe. I'm not saying we should attack Saudi Arabia, I'm just saying that a move like that would be much more consistent with what the Administration says it's doing. What we did and are (sorta) still doing in Afghanistan is more in line with that rhetoric - although at this point I'm no longer fully convinced that we weren't also just looking for an excuse to go after the Taliban so that Unocal could build a big oil pipeline in addition to the need for 9/11 revenge.

I know it's very unpragmatic of me, but motives matter. We were lied to about the whole fucking Iraq thing. I'm sorry, we weren't lied to, we were "fed bad intelligence" as the kids are calling it these days.

Finally, a quote from Bush:

"The war on terror is not a figure of speech. It is an inescapable calling of our generation. The terrorists are offended not merely by our policies - they are offended by our existence as free nations."

Actually, Georgie, it is kind of a figure of speech. Typically, we think of a war as something that we can win. We're never going to defeat terrorism. That doesn't mean we should stop trying, but let's keep it real here. Don't worry, I know that we won't. Also, fucking QUIT IT when it comes to saying that they hate us because of our freedom. This is just a bullshit attempt to not only hide the real reasons people are pissed off at us, but to do this bullshit 180 and actually try and make ourselves look better because of it. If they were so angry or jealous of our freedom, maybe they'd do a little more work towards joining a free society or building a free society of their own. When you mentioned our policies, that was a little bit more on the money.

So we all remember how I've got stupid thoughts running through my head now. Well, today, I decided to try and bring one of those stupid thoughts to fruition by going out and doing some jogging.

Mistake.

Fuck I am not in good shape. When you go out running and after not too long your head and heart feel ready to explode, and then when you get home to do some sit-ups/crunches/whatever and after awhile you just punt by saying "forget it," that's not a quality workout. Well, gotta start somewhere.

Of course, this is just my first time out exercising in a long time. And like always, I push myself way too hard way too quickly, and end up spent before any quality work gets done. Then afterwards, you can't decide if you want to sleep, vomit, or die. Hmmm, that sounds so familiar to some other situation, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Except for the vomiting part. Okay, okay... Especially the vomiting part.

I need to find some other activity to get into shape. I hate running. The reason I always end up doing it is because there's something (to add to all the other somethings) miswired in my brain that says the only way to get in shape is by doing something I hate. I like playing sports on occasion, like tennis or baseball, even though I suck at them. The key is to play these sports with other people who suck as badly as I do. The problem is, I have virtually no friends, and those that I do have are about as motivated as I am. I think I need to buy myself a bike; I can do that alone, I like doing it, and I don't think it ends up being the cardiovascular bukkake that running has become.

I'm not really looking to lose weight - maybe shed a few pounds, but nothing big. I'm more concerned with getting in better shape so that five minutes of running doesn't nearly have me dead on the sidewalk. Even though I'm pretty sure that we're close to zero as it is, dying pretty much completely ends my chances of landing underage Asian hottie (UAH). I'd definitely like to tone up, especially in the ab arena. Since I know I won't go to a gym for myriad reasons, I'm looking into getting some stuff for home so that I can start lifting again.

And, believe it or not, I'm really not doing this to impress women because, trust me, I can work my ass of and no one will be impressed. The last time I had a decent regimen going the only one who took notice was ETP, but to be sadly honest, that was still kinda nice. At least someone noticed, goddammit. Aside from the vanity bullshit, once my size 30s are getting tight on me, I am not happy, and I want to rectify that. Yes, 30 waist. What did you think the "little" in "Bitter Little Man" stood for?

Anyway, what are people out there doing to get in shape or keep in shape?

Google search:

nerds fucking schoolgirls

Dude, just go pick yourself up a Japanese porno, because that's pretty much all it is - nerds fucking schoolgirls. Nerdy guys who never got laid when they were younger acting out those school day fantasies. To borrow a line from Galvin, a lot of their porn is pretty much just live-action Nanodimensional Schoolgirl Rape Adventure.

This is yet another naughty post, so don't click on any of the links unless you want your co-workers/spouse/kids/whoever to see you shopping for sex toys.

I made the mistake of mentioning the Fleshlight one time. No, I don't actually have one, although I probably should bust one of these out since I'm, you know, lonely. Anyway, I saw a banner ad for one of these once and made mention of in a post, and now I get Google hits for people looking to buy a Fleshlight on eBay, looking for a product review, etc. I decided to hit the homepage of the maker of this product tonight, and found a couple of things to share.

First there's sex in a can. I just love the description of this one: Great for men with less penis girth, and perfect for keeping in the office. Less penis girth? Less. Check this shit out. I don't have a small penis, I have less penis girth. It almost doesn't sound as bad, dunnit? So anyway, less penis girth. Check. Keeping in the office? Okay, let's pretend for a second that work isn't now actually keeping me far too busy to give me time to shoot my load into a can while I'm at my desk. I'm still not going to be getting off at work. I may have self-control issues, but I have enough to be able to wait a few hours until I get home. Furthermore, I'm not keeping something in my office that I've ejaculated into; that's disgusting.

Now that you've had to deal with that awful imagery, I offer up this disturbing product: the mouth Fleshlight. That thing is seriously fucking creepy. I guess now I know what I'll be having nightmares about tonight.

Okay, that's all. Don't ask why I felt the need to share and discuss this evening's find. Just your lucky day, I guess.

This raises a couple of questions: Was it one knee or two? If the answer to the preceeding question was "two", are you sure it was during a show?

Also, I could have sworn that Shitney Spears was hot at one point, but I may have been mistaken.

Are you Lois Lane? Then shut the hell up!

Another great TB picture, courtesy of CNN:

This, I dunno, might be important.

Mary over at Naked Furniture has declared the pic I linked to earlier as being of Cheney's "gettin' my grind on" face, which I think is great.

And just in case you need a reminder of just who's fucking America so hard in its sore, collective ass:

Just in case you'd forgotten that Antonin Scalia is a dirty asshole fuck. He took 21 pages to say that his impartiality in unquestionable, even though lots of people have serious and valid questions about his impartiality? I'd love to see that memorandum. Only I wouldn't. I'm really not in the mood for a toxic dose of bullshit.

I don't know about anywhere else, but I could swear winters used to be much colder, longer, and snowier here. But you know those weather experts. Surely they know what they're talking about.

Ignorance? In Tennessee? Surely this is a misprint of some kind.

They wanted to declare homosexuals as being in commission of crimes against nature. Will you people just get back to fucking your sisters and leave everyone else the hell alone already?

Ahh, it has been far too long since we've gotten off an incest blast here. I know things have been really slow as of late, but it almost feels like I'm suddenly right back in the game.

"I think they should go further, try to see if they can ban them. It's not a Christian thing."

Actually, Caitlin, it is a Christian thing. Nice to see yet another kid well on the path of total fucking ignorance. Is 12 too young to call someone a cunt? No? I didn't think so.

Maureen.

Admit it: there's at least some part of you whose face this puts a smile on.

Could there be a better picture of Cheney than the one currently found on this page?

And while we're talking about religion (or at least we were yesterday), I really like Wynette's idea for Anti-Jesus Counter Measures.

So I just noticed in my profile over in Galvin's forums that I have been bestowed upon the title of "Jailbait Bait." Ahhh, it's nice to be recognized for one's body of work.

Yeah, don't I wish that I could serve as bait for jailbait. It might have come in handy this afternoon. Wednesday is typically the day a co-worker and I hit this Japanese restaurant that's pretty much literally on the other side of the tracks from where we work (it's right next to Kenny's house). Usually the person manning the register and bringing out our food is this nice older lady, and occasionally it's been a younger girl who's decent but nothing to write home about. Then today, fuck. There's this new girl there who is very cute. I don't know how old she was, but I quite clearly don't care anymore. Look, she's old enough to operate a cash register, and I think that oughta count. She's fluent in English but also speaks Japanese, which is neat. Hey, maybe she could even teach me (to speak like a woman).

God effing damn it, I hate it when I find anyone I'm interested in. And no, not just because I'm a cold-hearted, soulless bastard. It's just this huge waste of time, because I know it's going to end in the same place as it always does: failure. Sure, I might not end up doing anything about it, thus guaranteeing failure, but it still occupies valuable thinking time which could be better spent on, um, fuck, I don't know. Something else.

Yeah, yeah, I know, "don't be so negative," blah blah blah. I'll refer you back to the very site you're reading.

Things are made even worse when it comes to restaurant personnel, which as ETP can attest to, I do not have a stellar track record with. Okay, I'm like oh-for-one, but that's still a .000 batting average, and it doesn't look good.

Furthermore, this has me asking myself stupid questions like, fuck, do I need to start working out again? Because, yeah, that will do a whole lot. That should compensate for my lack of looks, lack of skills with women, lack of social skills in general, and lack of pretty much anything else besides problems.

Crap.

Yay, more tax cut bullshit. Because we know how well that's been working out.

Then, of course, there's today's big horrific story.

Some Guardian reaction to the conservative reaction to the bombings in Madrid and the Spanish elections.

I like how Dubya urges Kerry to back up his baseless claim or risk having people thinking he made shit up, but then says "I've met more leaders who can't go out and say this publicly, but boy, they look at you and say, 'You got to win this. You got to beat this guy.'" I could be wrong, but that statement itself sounds like a baseless claim... Yes, it is in fact a baseless claim.

Yeah, there's always the chance that Kerry could be making shit up. I think Colin Powell's statement might be very telling: "It's an easy charge, an easy assertion to make." Well now, why exactly would it be easy? Maybe because we simply fucking know that people around the world are pissed at Dubya (and I'm not just talking France and Germany here), and a few of those people are bound to be some world leaders?

... And the address apprears to be the pound sign.

There's this fucking commercial I keep hearing for some new slop 7-11 is hawking. That's right; 7-11 is advertising their own original food products. The commercial I keep hearing is for "spicy beef and bean go-go fuck me in the ass taquitos" or some such bullshit. The commercial boasts that the taquitos are "mixed with queso cheese, stuffed with queso cheese, some other bullshit about queso cheese." The announcer uses the phrase "queso cheese" no less than three times.

...

QUESO IS CHEESE, YOU FUCKING IMBECILES!!!!!!!!!

God fucking damn it, I hate when ignorant white people try and be clever by using words from a foreign language when they, in fact, have no fucking clue what they're doing. Wait, ignorant white people? That's redundant. This fucking commercial reminds me of when I drive though Boulder, and I drive on or past Table Mesa Drive. Mesa means table, you cocksuckers. But whaddya want from Boulder. Or how about those anime freaks who know three words of Japanese and use them all the time like they just got off the plane from Tokyo where they grew up?

Yes, I watch anime, and I throw around a gai-jin blast every now and then. But I use that more out of a pretentious need to use something I learned in history class as opposed to something learned watching cartoons. Other than the self-effacing racist/near-racist phrase, I have been able to figure out maybe three words of Japanese in my half-assed studies, but I don't even like using them when I'm alone and fucking practicing because I'm embarassed over how badly I know I'm pronouncing them. Why can't more people be embarassed about their ignorance and instead of sharing that ignorance just shut the fuck up?

Yes, I'm sharing my ignorance damn near daily, but you're reading it, aren't 'ya?

This discussion also reminds me of a joke my step-sister told me, who unlike many Americans knows and heavily uses a foreign language as she's currently living in Germany:

What do you call someone who knows three languages? Tri-lingual. What do you call someone who knows two languages? Bi-lingual. What do you call someone who knows only one language? American.

Where is your lord and savior for you now?!?

I'm sorry (no I'm not), but I'm always kinda glad when missionaries die. No, let's not sugarcoat it. I'm a bad person, so I can just come out and say it: it makes me happy when missionaries die. Bonus happy points when they're Southern Ignorant Fucking Baptists.

Why do I hate missionaries so? Well, they're the embodiment of one of the main reasons why I hate organized religion. They represent that bullshit need to not only believe in a bunch of stupid shit, but to also feel this self-serving need to push it on others who might already have their own system of stupid shit that they believe in.

Do missionaries do some valuable work? Maybe. Are they pretty ballsy to be doing it in a place like Iraq? Sure. But I hate how the work always comes with a string attached, that string being Jesus. They show up with a shovel in one hand, which is great, but the Bible in the other, which isn't.

If they're so fucking noble, why can't they leave religion out of it and just do the aid work? Because they're self-centered assholes who are part of a special little club. They like it when new people join in the club, because that helps validate their existing membership. "Hey, somebody else agrees with me. I must be right!" Sponsoring new members might even win them some big points with the man upstairs. Right. Nothing self-serving there.

In the end, many will come back to saying that they're doing good work to help people. Ah, if only I could be convinced that they're doing it out of the goodness of their hearts. Also, side from the actual work that they do, there are plenty of potentially harmful side effects. Like the breeding of hostility towards Christians and Americans in general. We know how well that works out. When it comes to the middle east, it's a big help in the "this isn't Christianity versus Islam" game, isn't it? So to counter the argument of "they're doing good things in the end," I leave you with a thought you can appreciate: the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

Like I said, some of the "confessions" are total fucking bullshit:

I want to have sex with this Argentinian math major. I don't think boys realize how easy they have it with some girls. On the outside, I'm a very nice, well-to-do Catholic girl. I enjoy dates and being social. But part of me also wants to get him alone and rape the living daylights out of him. All he has to do is say the word and I'm dropping my panties. But he's being a total nerd and not wanting to get involved with me. Why? We have such a great time together and he's the only person I want right now. Damn. Nice guys finish last? I think you nice guys ENJOY making your lives miserable and losing out on a girl that would rock your world; in and out of bed.

My boyfriend is really pissing me off, he wont let me suck his dick. Its driving me up the walls!

None of that shit would ever happen.


Someone knew I'd be reading:

It's tough losing your virginity when going to an all-girl school. We would lust after teachers and I used to wear sexy lingerie under my uniform to hope he would come and rip the clothes off. I'm not some ugly girl, I'm just the perfect little Japanese slut.


Yeah, sounds like love to me:

Renee, please, let me have your heart! I love your tattoos! Your blow jobs! your pussy grinding ass! Let me love you!!!

Who says romance is dead?


Worst person ever award:

there's this chick i know that has some serious mental/self estem problems....and i just console her in the hope i can have sex with her. I mean she's real fuckin hot, and its wrong that my common decency for another person is disregarded once the opportunity for sex comes up....she swallows too.


Kids are so fucking lazy nowadays:

I'm naked, wet, and extremely horny, but too lazy to grab my vibrator.

I came across the following confessional site over at Life is woo woo: Not Proud.

Ms. Frilly Panties of LiWW was very displeased with Not Proud. To be honest, I find a lot of this shit funny, but we all know what a sick fuck I am. They're funny partly because I would imagine a lot of the so-called confessions are just bullshit. Many of them, true or not, are just funny. For instance:

I used to pick up hair scrunchies I would find on the ground and I would wear them around my cock the next day for fun. I collected scrunchies from my old high school and from my old workplace. I used to daydream about whose it was while wearing them. I used to get hard all the time sitting in class watching a girl or while helping a customer. Just imagining who it belonged to. Who dropped it.... yum.

Wearing scrunchies on your cock. Hey, whatever floats your boat is fine by me. As long as you're not fucking kids, forcing anyone, or hurting anyone who doesn't want to be hurt, whatever you do is fine by me. But I can't promise that I won't laugh at you.

I was reminded earlier that we're now in the Season of Lent, which began February 25th. I've retroactively decided that for Lent this year, I'm giving up Christianity.

Google search:

hate sasha-cohen

What did Sasha Cohen ever do to you? Clearly she didn't beat you in any major tournaments. Hey, I'm smitten with the girl and all, but gotta face facts.

Enterprise would still suck, but it would be great to see Rick Berman get shitcanned. No, he's not the only factor contributing to the sad state of Trek, but he's still a pretty big factor. Oh, and he's a donkey raping shit-eater.

This girl really needs to get over herself. Yes, engineering is a wasteland, but c'mon now. Hopefully the title is somewhat tongue-in-cheek. And she doesn't even say what kind of engineer she is (from my quick scanning), but if it's civil or software, neither of those count.

Oh, plus, he's a guy

Yahoo search:

How can i tell if a guy likes me or just wants to fuck me

Well, if you're doing web searches to answer questions like this, I'm leaning towards the latter.

Spain is talking big. I guess we'll see if it means anything, which it won't if the new government is as effective as the old one. I almost felt kinda bad for the previous government, because you could tell that they were still reeling from the Armada, and so desperately wanted to be a big player in world politics again. Like remember that little gettogether Dubya and Tony had in the Azores just before the war started, which was organized by the Spanish PM? Man, that was sad. It was like the nerdy kid inviting the cool kids over for a sleepover, and then the cool kids just raising hell and breaking into the nerd's parents' liquor cabinet.

The fact that al Qaeda may very well have succeeded in bringing about regime change is just fucking great. That's pretty much all there is to say about that.

Oh, holy shit, I just noticed that CafePress, home to my lonely store, offers bumper stickers as a product. It's time to make ETP's "God rules with an iron fist" bumper sticker a reality.

And yes, I fully realize the irony of getting excited over the ability to make bumper stickers in light of my recent audio post. Hey, if you're going to be a hypocrite like me, might as well go the full nine. Besides, I already know that no one cares about my worthless opinion and that I'm not clever, so I think I'm good.

Whenever you see a 'blog entitled Christian Soccer Moms Attack, it can prety much go one of two ways: it can be really good, or really shitty. I think Keith may have accomplished the former. A churchgoer who questions Christianity and keeps a good sense of humor about his religion... That's almost unheard of. In fact, I find myself wondering if he's actually Jewish.

When I first saw this in Blogger's "Blogs of Note" section, I thought maybe it was a great new 'blog with some good masturbation mastubation tips. That would have been great, so I could have finally had a place to direct one of those kids who come here looking for ways to beat off, the best way to beat off, things to beat off to, blah blah blah fucking figure it out kid.

Actually, it's not like I don't have a folder of bookmarks full of shit that I could point these kids to, but that would take effort. Plus, as we all know, I will only go so far to help other guys get off. I'd be all for putting in some effort to help the ladies get off, of course, but none of them want that.

"I'm great in bed... 'Cause I try so hard."
- Mitch Fatel, and no I'm not trying to cleverly imply that I'm somehow good in bed, because in addition to the fact that I'm not that clever, I can promise you that I am not good in bed. But I probably would get an A for "effort." That is, if lots of nervous fumbling around and ejaculating prematurely now count as "effort."

This post over at WWdN probably has the best post title since Galvin's July 9th "I probably shouldn't write about this."

Quite clearly he wasn't. Allegedly.

You know, that Marcus Wesson guy has a lot of hair. I'm not making any value judgements based on that, I'm just saying that they might want to check in there for a tenth victim just to be sure.

Ahh, sensitivity...

I may have posted this link before, but it may be of interest to some who haven't been around here that long. If nothing else, I know I've at least linked Perfect Asuka, an object which I know I will never possess. As such, my life can never be complete. I'm just left with visiting that site from time to time and crying over how good those things look, especially my beloved Asuka. Christ, whoever it is who did those just has some sick modeling abilities.

I have one thing to say to the person who does this work: fuck you for having skills and patience!

The last line will be much funnier after you see Carlin's next special

The week wouldn't be off to a good start without some horrific violence in Israel.

One thing that always gets me about articles like this is how they always mention the fact that the suicide bomber was killed in the blast. Yeah, no shit the bomber was killed. Otherwise, it couldn't be called a suicide bombing, now could it?

Even if we forget about the labeling, just imagine if a suicide bomber somehow survived. That guy would be, like, the biggest fucking failure, ever. Even bigger than me when it comes to buying porn on DVD. I don't even think it's statistically possible unless if you really fuck up with your explosives. Of course, in that case, you're most likely not only not killing yourself, but you're not killing any infidels, either. Just imagine all the shit a terrorist who survived his own suicide bombing would get from all his terrorist friends. He'd probably get so depressed from all the teasing that he'd go kill himself.

"If the Palestinians want to share and move forward on the road map to peace and bring about the implementation of President Bush's vision..."

A really laughable quote. First off, it's not like Bush wrote the roadmap himself. Second of all, we know what one of Bush's huge problems is: no vision.

Ah, campaign finance reform. What a neat land of fantasy that is. All the money, all the ass-kissing, all the self-serving bullshit... Man, it's disgusting.

Oh, and while we're on the subject: fuck lawyers.

Videos of retards talking.

Quotes 'n' quick commentary:

"Senator Kerry should finish the debate with himself before he starts trying to explain his positions to the voters."

I hate to say it, but even I have to give TB some credit when it comes to this criticism of Kerry, because, for once, it's valid criticism coming from the right. Don't worry, the agreement stops here.

"They want to increase federal taxes, yet punishing families and small businesses isn't a job-creation strategy."

Clearly, rewarding the rich with fat tax cuts is also not a job creation strategy. Thanks for playing, George. Now please move along.

"They want to build up trade walls, and isolate America from the rest of the world."

Right; that should be done diplomatically, not economically.

I'm tellin' you, that standardized testing bullshit just needs to be scrapped entirely. And I can say this for certain based on one data point: me. Seriously, though, can we afford to even take the risk of producing more of me? I didn't think so.

Okay, it's clearly not just one data point. I mean, just go ask anyone who's been through standardized testing. Travel the country and ask people how big of an impact the Iowas or the SATs or some other worthless test had on their lives. And of course, that only speaks to the uselessness of standardized tests. It doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how dangerous these tests become when entire curriculums are geared towards teaching the test. That's such an ugly situation that it leads you to not just think inside the box, but to actually become the fuckin' box itself.

"I've heard the president say any number of times that we want to respect the states."

That... Would be really funny if it didn't fucking piss me off so much. Yeah, Bush is all for states' rights, unless if they want to do something like let gays marry.

A bit of an update on what's going on in Spain. Which isn't much of an update; the election's not over, and they don't yet know for certain who's responsible for the bombings.

We have a few new linkers who deserve some love, or at least, they're gonna get some love, whether they want it or not:

The Fence
Lyzardly
Pete the King