Okay, look. I'm not completely insensitive to the undescribably awful situation you're dealing with. But your daughter didn't kill herself because of the internet. She killed herself because she obviously had some serious problems. If someone is screwed up enough in the head or just has enough things wrong in their life to kill themselves, they're going to do it, help or no help.

Suzanne Gonzales seemed to have everything going for her.

Clearly she didn't, and I'm not trying to be flippant here. It's this kind of childish mentality about mental health that allows shit like this to be so prevalent. Maybe if we spent some time taking this shit seriously, these numbers would start going down.

Suicide is now the third leading cause of death among young people, the CDC reports.

On the other hand, a lot of kids are really fucking stupid, and thinning the herd might not be such a bad idea. Look, I had to go smart-ass at some point, ok?

"That's not pro-choice," Mike Gonzales said of the site. "That's brainwashing. And they are not being held responsible."

Held responsible? For what? If someone is helping procure illegal items, that's one thing. But just talking about shit isn't a crime. All this scapegoating and making excuses can't be helping the healing process. I know, I know, trying to find explanations and place blame like this is part of the grieving process, but I'm just tired of this bullshit.

Pat Robertson: retard.

GTherapy

Google search:

i hate you dad for cheating

I'm sorry, but Google hits like this are hillarious. To me, there's just an amusing sadness to doing Google searches on your fucked up life. Kinda like the girl who wanted to kill her boyfriend. I don't know if these people are looking for answers, they just need to talk to someone. Since Google is trying to take over the world anyway, they oughta start up a mental health service.

Yahoo search:

balkan super fuck

I don't know why, but I think this needs to be made into something -- a videogame or whatever, but something.

Google search:

texas is like a retarded kid with too much self-esteem

That's funny. The fact that Texas is being made fun of is good enough, but I really like the notion of an over-confident retard.

Or maybe I could just forego the whole buying a wife thing (since there's nothing creepy about that anyway) if I'd just get out of the fucking house and show off the car. Even with that, though, there's the problem that I want the car to be able to do pretty much everything for me, and as capable as it is, it's not that capable.

I'm thinking more and more that a mail-order bride might be the way to go for me. I am retarded socially; this we know. But when it comes to buying shit? I am on it. I'm not going to be an abusive fuck-off like some of the stellar individuals mentioned in that article, but as anyone can tell, I'm still not going to be the greatest husband, either. At least I look good on paper, though. She can brag to everyone about being with an engineer that makes good money, the house, the Bimmer, blah blah blah. No one she knows ever has to have anything to do with me, since they're on the other side of the fucking world. Image is all that matters to women anyway, right?

I don't exactly have $16K to be blowing right now, though, so this too is gonna have to wait. But of course, about a year ago, the whole car thing was a "bullshit pipe dream," but since money was involved I was of course able to figure it out. So like I said, this is a solid idea. A co-worker was telling me that meeting women who don't speak much English is a good way to go if you're shy, so that fits in nicely with all this. Of course, one could tell me that I just need to meet some foreign girls in more traditional ways that don't involve spending a bunch of bloody money, but that'd involve socializing and that's definitely not for me.

Lego Death Star, anyone? Should go nice with the cool but also too expensive Star Destroyer.

Sets like those aside, Lego is in such a sorry fucking place right now. I was out looking for Legos this week -- for once not for me but for someone else -- and I didn't have a ton of time, so I was only able to hit one store. I know that Lego has been in a shit state for years, but I was like, there's always at least one decent set, right? So I should be able to find something. Well, there pretty much was just one decent set in the whole fucking store (one of the Harry Potter sets). Everything else I saw made me wanna vomit. Like what the fuck is that Dino Attack shit? I didn't give those sets a close look because I didn't want to know. And then there's the Holocaust that is the Knight's Tale series. Several years ago they discontinued the castle lineup, and I was pissed. Then, they brought it back under the Knight's Tale moniker, and I was pissed. They should have just left it dead. The same goes for the pirates stuff. Ten to 15 years ago, that shit was bad-ass. Now it's resurrected as part of their 4+ lineup, and it fucks ass.

Some of the entertainment property-based sets are cool. A lot of the Star Wars ones are good, and I don't even like Star Wars that much. Some of the Harry Potter ones look decent, even though I've never read one of the books (because I'm not a child, even though in some ways I look and act like a child) or seen the movies (which I hear are decent). That should tell you something right there: the only Legos I can really get into now are for shit that I don't even like. It's like Jews playing with Nazi Legos, only way less extreme.

Actually, fuck. How cool would that be? Holocaust Legos would go great with our already planned line of September 11th toys. As I've mentioned before, I will call my toy company Depraved Indifference Toys. Our slogan? Depraved Indifference Toys: Making a Killing off of People Making a Killing.

Okay, I'm getting off track, as per usual. Back to why Lego has become the Trent Reznor of the toy industry. Okay, that's not really a fair comparison; both used to be really cool but now mostly suck, but Trent was never that cool, nor did he inspire anything other than screaming. And, okay, "really cool" is a stretch, even back in the day for Trent. But yeah, inspiration. Lego seems to have none of that anymore. It's just a bunch of stupid crap with way too many pre-fabbed pieces. I knew something was fucked up when I saw huge boxes with a piece count of, like, 12. The reason being that more and more of every set was constructed out of pre-fabbed plastic pieces and not built out of bricks by the user. That's... Fucking bullshit. Once I first noticed it, I was like, it's over. Lego will never be what it used to be.

Don't even get me started on Bionicle.

Like I said, though, there's some stuff that's decent, or even really good. There is a ton of train stuff that I'd love to get, but a lot of it is just bloody expensive. I totally need the Shinkansen and The El. And a lot of the roll your own train stuff is cool, too.

Some of the City stuff is OK, but not anywhere near as cool as it used to be. Like the fire station? Weak. Fucking. Sauce. Some of the construction stuff might be fun, but I need to get a closer look at all of it.

For some reason, I never got into the Technic stuff, but I should have. I really need this for some reason. ETP and BOETP got me the Ferrari F1 Racer, and that's BA. The only thing that's not cool is that it's Ferrari, enemy of the rest of Formula 1, including BMW. So it's still cool, I just can't feel good about it.

So yeah, there's a couple 'a sets that can float, but for the most part, the genre sucks. Some stuff has potential, but for some reason, fucking up is just in Lego's blood now. Like I just saw that they have a Viking line (which the store says is "not available in this country") which could be cool if this was 15 years ago. For me, that's when it was on. All sorts of cool shit was out. There were fun, interesting sets that didn't have a bunch of lame crap or too many pre-fabbed pieces. Going back to the mid-80s or so there was also some hard-core shit, but I unfortunately don't have much from that era.

The best set I've got? Hands down, the Black Seas Barracuda. I've got some really good sets, but this one still easily rises about the rest. This motherfucker has cannons that actually fire. I'd imagine they stopped making the cannons that could really shoot after not too long for predictable reasons -- stupid kids. Oh, and the Barracuda is big. The only ship that came close was the Skull's Eye Schooner, which I don't have but have always wanted to get my hands on if I could find one sealed. It might have been bigger and had some cooler features, but I'm convinced that it wasn't as neat as the Barracuda because I don't have one.

I have no conclusion for this, other than it's never going to be good again.