Here's another online article rule: if you see an article about fish porn, you have to read it.

I fucking hate dealing with RPMs. Why the fuck Redhat has never built an RPM system that can automatically resolve dependencies I will never know. It's shit like that which has had me doing most of my installs by building from source.

That being said, this is fucking money. The apt system is Debian's package management scheme, and lots of people love it. I've known about the apt port that can work with RPMs for quite awhile, but today is the first time I've tried it, and it's fucking sweet. It was actually able to install transcode, a fucking pain in the ass video utility suite, which has like a billion dependencies. The only problems it gave me in installing transcode were related to my broken install of transcode from before apt-rpm.

Setting it up was pretty easy, too. Well, once I found the freshrpms link that had the RPM (the source distribution from the apt-rpm homepage was fucked up), at least. Once I installed it, I just ran "apt-get update" to build some package/dependency lists, and it was good to go.

What the hell else is pissing me off? I know there was something just a second ago... Oh yeah.

Holy fuck I'm old. No, not getting older, I'm fucking old. On the cover of Vanity Fair this month is a bunch of the hot new teenage stars. I'm looking through this, nearly in tears, with Chekhov's line from Generations echoing though my head: "I was never that young". I mean, some of the kids they had showcased were born in the fucking nineties, for Christ's sake. A bunch of them said that their favorite old TV show was The Wonder Years. That show isn't fucking old! I could swear it was just on not too long ago. And I'm not talking Nick-at-Nite re-runs.

The "feeling like a kid" thing pretty much died the second I read a Playmate Data sheet where the Playmate was younger than me. I know some of you know what I'm talking about.

I don't know how I've fucked up so bad and become a bitter old man at 23, but that's how it's looking. And I've been here for fucking years now. Even in high school I would bitch about "those fucking kids" in restaurants and movie theaters. Either way, my dreams of having a fun, carefree life, with a real, live teenage girlfriend are pretty much over, unless I want to go to jail.

Of course, there are some nice throwbacks to being a kid. Like living at my parents' house like a fucking loser. Great, the best of both worlds.

Nah, who wants to be a kid again, anyway? Growing up fucking sucked too. Life blows.

It's nice to see parents and teens finally spending some quality time together.

Speaking of God, there's this church near my house that always fucking pisses me off. The reason is because they have this sign out front, and they always try and put some clever little slogan or some such garbage on it. For example, right now the sign says "God's promises have no expiration dates!"

Alright, there's two ways to look at this. First is that God has made some promises, and he will always make good on those promises. Implicit in this stance is that God has been making good on said promises. I choose to view things another way.

I see this as yet another bullshit excuse for God's shitty behavior. If there's no expiration dates on his promises, then doesn't that imply that he can make promises, and then just never make good on them? "Oh, I promise to bring peace to the middle east. When will I get to it? Ummmm... Soon. Remember, my promises never expire!" Fuck you, asshole.

This is the same kind of bullshit rhetoric I've heard from these God apologists my entire life. You know, shit like "Oh, well, it's God's will" or "God works in mysterious ways" when something bad happens. Take a fucking stand against this jerk. Don't put up with his shit. But these are the same stupid, spineless assholes like that guy I heard on the radio one day who was saying that McCarthy "did some good things."

Speaking of God, I really hate this bullshit notion that he loves us. I won't even try to reproduce Carlin's rant, but the general gist of it is that God will send us to a mean, nasty place if we fuck up, and he loves us. Now think about this shit. Think about someone you love. Even if they fuck up (you know, they kill a guy with a hammer or something), you still want to protect them. You certainly don't want to send them to hell. Unless, of course, if they do something bad to you, like cheat on you and dump you, then tell you they're pregnant. But I'm talking about if they do something else that you know is bad, and you still don't really want to punish them, since, well you care about them. Doesn't seem like God has been reading out of the same rule book if he's willing to send you to hell for things like coveting someone else's shit.

Alright, so let's make the argument that God views your violation of his rules as a personal affront to him. But that's just what we call transference - you aren't doing anything to God personally, you aren't killing him or fucking his wife. Still, he takes your bad behavior and heaps it all upon himself, just so he can get mad at you. Sounds like the old man has some real issues that a psychotherapist should have a look at.

So I was driving to work the other day, and thought of a cool t-shirt. You know how they used to say "at least he made the trains run on time" about Hitler or Mussolini (I can't remember which one)? Nevermind the fact that I'm thinking about dictators during my morning commute. I was thinking it'd be great to see a t-shirt that said "God... At least he made the trains run on time" on the front, and "Wait, no he didn't" on the back.

That'd be fucking sweet, and it would go well with a "God rules with an iron fist" bumper sticker.