Okay, so someone e-mailed me this a couple of days ago. Thank fucking Christ it wasn't some god damn Slipknot lyics. Quite the opposite, in fact. I had seen that poster for TWAT quite awhile back at or linked from the now defunct Marcellus Wallace's Bloody Gitch, and I had been wondering where the fuck it came from ever since. Now I know. And as GI Joe taught us, knowing is half the battle. I just wish they'd told me the other half so maybe I could finally get my shit together.

Taking a break from the normal shit they do or don't do that fucks up this country, some in congress are hitting the hard issues and tackling the BCS. The BCS is fucked up and all, but god fucking damn it.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I can't stand Christianity and I can't stand a lot of what Christians stand for, but they make some neat fucking buildings. That pic is of the Catedral de Segovia is Segovia, Spain. As much as I hate religion in general and Christianity in specific, I have to give them mad points for so often going balls-out in the architecture regime. Worship is stupid, but at least when they set their minds to make a house of worship, they make a fucking house of worship. Many churches and cathedrals would be so worthy of God if He actually existed.

If anybody should be called in for jury duty, it's Bush. Busy running the country? Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, it's gotta be so tough having Karl Rove tell me what to do all the time. He's gotta be mentally drained from those really difficult speeches about the war in Iraq that were given to tough houses of military personnel. And frequent, extended vacations at the ranch? Dude.

And no, I did not just post a couple of BBC articles to try and regain some street cred. I know that is long since gone, and I was actually reading the Beeb earlier. So again, fuck off.

Mountain Don't

This is pretty typical of this country. We have a bunch of fat-ass fucking kids in this country, so the big problem must be soda pop. It can't be the foods we eat or the over-indulgent lifestyles that we have. Or how about the fact that a lot of fat kids have something in common: fat parents. Nah, it's gotta be pop. Now, I'm not saying that maybe pop isn't part of the larger problem, but that's just it -- there's a larger problem. But to think that pop alone is a huge issue, I've gotta call bullshit.

I've been drinking that stuff since I was pretty young, and except for a few isolated times where I tried to cut back, I usually have at least a can a day. I won't drink diet, because that stuff is swill that belongs under the same column as Budweiser. And somehow, I'm not a huge tub of shit. You can make the argument that I'm a tub of shit, for sure, but not a huge one. Look, if I didn't put on weight in the past month or so from drinking pop, then it can't be that big of a deal. With as hard as I was hitting it at work for awhile, and with how little sleep I allow myself, I was chugging a lot of pop. I have this box in my office for empty cans that I emptied out today, and it was almost nothing but Mountain Dew and Mountain Dew Code Red. I remember that there was one point where I was even double-fisting it (sounds hot, I know) with a Dr. Pepper in one hand and a Mountain Dew in the other. I was just weighed this past week, and I'm at 120, which is just fine for my small stature.

As per usual, I'm generalizing for comedic effect (as if you hadn't been warned), and I know it's more complicated. But once I found a way to work "double fisting" into a post, I had to do it. Bring on those Google hits.

But anyway, back to the real issue. As always, we take a big problem, find one small part of it, and blame that for everything. Kids shooting up the schools? Must be video games. The economy is shit? Must be China's monetary policy. Of course, the reason these issues are focused on is because there is some group that has an agenda against item X, so they'll find an excuse to push that agenda. And, as such, we never get anything real accomplished in this country.

When I hear about non-military people getting kidnapped, killed, what have you, in Iraq, I think part of me initially feels sympathy for them. Believe it or not (and I barely believe it myself), there is a bit of humanity left in me. That fades pretty quickly, though, once actual thought kicks in, and I think, hey, if you go over to Iraq, you should know damn well what you're getting yourself into. If you have a choice on going there, then, well, I can't have much sympathy for you when things go awry. Things are further compounded when I hear that people who get themselves into trouble are associated with some kind of Christian outfit. It's at this point that I'm pretty much rooting for bad stuff to happen to them.

All four men appeared frightened.

Gee, I wouldn't expect that. Thanks for the hard-hitting coverage. I know, I know, I'm the one continually reading and linking CNN in the first place. Fuck off.

The group has claimed that the kidnapped men, from the Chicago-based Christian Peacemaker Teams...

Now there's the potential for me to feel even less sympathy. If anyone from this organization is in Iraq who came from Chicago, I just have to ask: you left Chicago... For Iraq? I know it can get mighty cold and shit in the winter and all, but it's still fucking Chicago. Stick around and hit a mall or something.

The Christian activists... had been repeatedly warned by Iraqi and Western security officials that they were taking a grave risk by moving about Baghdad without bodyguards.

Wow. At this point, I'm not saying that you're asking for it, except that I am. Even though I was basically saying that just by you being there to begin with.

The Christian activists -- Tom Fox, 54, of Clear Brook, Virginia; Norman Kember, 74, of London; James Loney, 41, of Toronto; and Harmeet Singh Sooden, 32, of Canada...

I wonder if Harmeet lives in downtown Canada.

One thing that really pissed me off while reading this article was the name of the group responsible for this round of kidnappings. They call themselves the "Swords of Righteousness Brigade." It wasn't so much just that name in particular as that it was part of a general trend of lame-ass fucking names that these groups give themselves. You guys are running around with guns and bombs and killing people, and the best you can come up with is a name that sounds like something a bunch of eight-year-olds would come up with for their Pop Warner football team? All the transgressions were made up for by one group, however:

The men were kidnapped at the same place where Giuliana Sgrena, a reporter for the Italian newspaper Il Manifesto, was seized February 4 and held for a month by a group calling itself Mujahedeen Without Borders.

Mujahedeen Without Borders? Holy crap. That is fucking hilarious.

This is pretty disgusting. First Amendment stuff, blah blah blah, that's all obvious. But here at Fe, we go deeper. Like, for instance, looking at how the school should be happy as it is that these kids can even fucking read to begin with considering that it's Tennessee. And since everyone down there is fucking their sister anyway, wouldn't it be a good idea for them to know about birth control?

I don't really comment much on Iraq or politics or any of that nonsense anymore since it was pointless back when I thought that maybe it wasn't, but I still found this to be kinda interesting. It's not some powerless Democrat talking, it's not some liberal mouthpiece saying it. No; it's the guy who was supposed to be our guy in Iraq. It reminds me of something that Jon Stewart said on The Daily Show when the Abu Ghraib thing was big, something to the effect of the torture chambers are "really not shut down so much as under new management."

Okay, now back to talking about cars, porn, and video games.