Huh. So, yeah, that's an interesting choice. McCain has finally answered the big question -- which presidential or vice presidential candidate would heterosexual men most want to have sex with?

But yeah, she's not wholly unpleasant to look at. Dig the glasses. The social Conservatism? Not so much.

Of course, this is America, and we're not about superficialities, nor would we continue to dwell on the fact that the new kid on the block isn't exactly a kid but is still pretty hot.

Traffic also spiked at sites showcasing pictures from 1984, when she wore the crown of Miss Wasilla and competed in the Miss Alaska contest.

Yeah, anyway... So a non-surprise surprise. No one knew who the fuck this woman was 24 hours ago, but now everyone does. On one hand, it's an intriguing move, maybe even a good move. Of course, many conservatives are gonna rhetorically fellate the choice no matter what, even if they're privately saying "Dude WTF?" Some will be genuinely down with it, though; compared to McCain, Palin (and anyone else with a pulse) is a young'un who can inject some life into the campaign while still being fully satisfying to the conservative base. And when I say "fully satisfying" I do mean that they are getting hard-ons over her, but not the fun kind that some of us might. And some of it even involves drilling, but not the kind some of us are pondering.

On top of her right-wing credentials, she potentially helps shore up the women's vote, especially those dumb cunts who can't get over the fact that Hillary lost and were thinking of voting for McCain because of it. Or the fact that they're racists, or both. Either way, cunts.

The combination of choice and timing were definitely brilliant, though. For all it matters now the Democrats may as well have not even had their circlejerk.

But on the other hand... Okay, sure, this is a Clinton guy talking, but he has a point. You could very easily see this as McCain trying to make the case for losing the election at this point. After all, what exactly in the fuck has she done to qualify to basically be the next president, since McCain is bound to die soon? She was mayor of some town no one ever heard about and she's currently mayor of a state that no one cares about. Care to challenge me on that, you whale eating moron? Bring it you Eskimo fuck.

Anyway... As has been pointed out a billion times already, this sounds oddly familiar and as such Democrats have no room to complain about her lack of experience since, hey, Obama's been a senator for, what, fifteen minutes now? I mean, seriously, he's done jack shit too. As always, I am not offering anything new or groundbreaking.

I'm pretty divided on whether or not all this "experience" shit matters. After all, we talk a lot about how we want change in Washington, which we don't, so who better to offer it than someone who hasn't been part of the machine for all these years? Someone who has, instead, been part of some smaller, more meaningless machine? Besides, even if they turn out shitty, it's not like one person can completely fuck the country all on their own.

No, seriously. What, you think Bush did all this shit on his own? The man's a re-re. He likes Jesus and that's about it. It was the obnoxious neocon cabal propping him up that did all this shit. Plus a Republican congress all those years didn't hurt. Is there anything like Wolfowitz and Cheney hiding in the shadows of McCain or Obama? Beats the shit out of me. They're all assholes anyway; we just gotta be more careful than in 2000 since it's a matter of what flavor of asshole and what other d-bags they bring to the party.

Aside from the expected conservative shit and the fuckability, I think we can already tell enough about her just from her family life. Five fucking kids. To borrow a word I heard used earlier, do we really need a Broodmare in Chief? Okay, so that's pretty sexist; why should I use the fact that she has a bunch of kids against her? Okay, how about this? The names of her kids: Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig. The bookends are boys, the three in the middle are girls. What the fuck does it say about someone's judgment if those are the names they pick for their kids? Track? Trig? Trig is an infant who was diagnosed in the womb with Down's Syndrome (Palin's apparently a hero for not aborting him); the kid has enough problems without being saddled with that name. And what the fuck kind of name is Bristol for a girl? Any relation to the vicious Chicken of Bristol?

Since I'm in the middle of being a complete asshole (how would one know the difference, anyway?), and I already commented on the attractiveness present in Biden's family (I even think his wife is pretty good-looking if you can believe that, which you can't), here's the Guv with her daughters:


The one on the right... Maybe. Kinda hard to tell from that pic. Looks like she might be hot, but also looks kinda bitchy (which can be hot if you don't have to put up with it personally). I'm not sure how the little one is gonna turn out; I see some pics where she looks cute and others where she just looks kinda weird. And the one on the left? If you squint a little she looks like a very low-rent Hayden Panettiere.

Anyway, back to the real issues. So what does it say about someone's judgment if they choose a running mate with the kind of judgment that leads to those names for their kids? Obama at least had the sense to pick Biden. Of course, Biden has a son who goes by "Beau," and that's kinda weird.

There are so may ways I could go with this, but I'm just going to keep it simple by coming down on the side of "checking into rehab for sex addiction is lame." Sex addiction? Sex addiction. Hey David, did you ever suck dick for oh wait a minute.

You don't need to know why this is awesome, you just need to know that it's awesome

While we're at it, a little tune for fellow Cubbie fans out there.

Yeah, so of course Biden is just Chief Cheerleader for Obama now. But Biden's still good people; the kid's got spunk. And he's got some good-looking girls in his family too. When I go to the polls this November, which I won't, he's got my vote. I'm not sold on Obama at this point (moreso than McCain, though... he's the original maverick if you need him) but I'm still down with Joey.

No matter what, like most if not all people in the party, Biden can't hold a candle to Bill Clinton. I didn't have to go any further to see evidence of this than having to go to three news sites before I could find Biden's full speech while I was able to find Clinton's immediately.

Politically speaking Clinton hasn't done shit for the last eight years and he's still The Man. As expected, the partygoers at the Circlejerk went nuts for him. Now, I'm a well established fan of Clinton's style. The man has an unnatural talent for smoothness that just works. But shit, in the eyes of Democrats the man walks on water and can do no wrong. The guy wasn't quite himself during the campaign, but he was up to form tonight. Can you just imagine what a frenzy it would be if he could run for another four years?

So I just watched Hillary's speech at the Democratic National Circlejerk tonight. Unfortunately for Hillary, throughout the course of her speech she made it quite clear as to why she lost the nomination -- she's a fucking robot. You know, we've come a long way in this country. We've come to the point where we'll talk about electing a black man president. Half black. Anyway, we've come a long way, but we just haven't come far enough to elect a robot president. Sorry, HRC-9000.

The most important part of her speech, well, maybe the only important part of her speech (from a D standpoint, at least) was when she asked "Were you in this for me, or were you in this for blah blah blah" (insert stories of people she probably made up). That should have been her whole speech: "I lost. Get over it, fuckers. Support this guy or you're dumb." Can you believe all these d-bags who won't let it go? 'Course you can. But really, that's just sad. Either you can't deal with the fact that your chosen one lost, and/or you're a racist.

Another thing I'm already tired of: people getting weepy or even just misty-eyed while someone is speaking. If this is the kind of shit that touches you, if this is the kind of shit that stirs emotion in you, you're a loser.

Then there was the religious pandering... Jesus. And what was with those Asians giving the closing benediction? Supposedly they were from Aurora. There are no Asians in A-Town, you retards! What the fuck is with a closing benediction, anyway? Lame.

I will give Hillary credit for one thing, though, and that's the fact that she was able to keep her shit together and not like start breathing fire and eating people alive. How pissed do you think she must be? Looking forward eight months ago this week in Denver was supposed to be her coronation, and here she's stuck playing third fiddle, since aside from Obama you know Bill will steal the entire show when he speaks tomorrow. I guess it could be worse; if she had gotten the nomination then she'd be stuck getting upstaged by Bill at her own convention.

Speaking of Bubba, I'm not really planning to tune into much more of the Democratic strokefest, but I would like to see his speech just because it will be pretty hilarious to see people going nuts over him. And while Clinton's lost a few steps these past few years I'm guessing he still knows how to please. Speaking of which, I'll bet he's trolling the streets of Denver right now picking up tail.

I'm also hoping to catch Biden's speech as well. Personally I thought Bill Richardson was the most solid guy for Obama to pick, but Biden's a pretty good choice too. I could swear there was some kind of deal-breaker that soured me on Biden at one point but hell if I can remember what it was, and anytime I listen to the guy I'm pretty much on board with him. Finally, anyone who will call "bullshit" by actually using the word "bullshit" without apology is definitely garnering some points in my book.